Dethroner » Relationships

Dethroner » Relationships http://dethroner.com Where every man is king. Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:58:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Whose Kid Are You Anyways? http://dethroner.com/2008/03/28/whose-kid-are-you-anyways/ http://dethroner.com/2008/03/28/whose-kid-are-you-anyways/#comments Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:19:50 +0000 Jason http://dethroner.com/2008/03/28/whose-kid-are-you-anyways/

There’s no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I’m gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth! –Buford T. Justice

Oh, the times my father repeated that movieline to me! Over and over. Sadly he was dreaming and this lazy, useless drop-out is his son. However, if there is any question about you and your questionable progeny — you may want to try the IdentiGene 3-5 Day Home Paternity Kit.

Available at Meijer and RiteAid!

Thanks Asylum

]]> http://dethroner.com/2008/03/28/whose-kid-are-you-anyways/feed/ 0 The Sad Truth About (Some) Relationships http://dethroner.com/2008/03/20/the-sad-truth-about-some-relationships/ http://dethroner.com/2008/03/20/the-sad-truth-about-some-relationships/#comments Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:19:03 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2008/03/20/the-sad-truth-about-some-relationships/

Thank god this is an optional choice. To each their own, of course, but nothing depresses me more than people who choose this route because they think they can’t choose anything else. [via Waxy]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2008/03/20/the-sad-truth-about-some-relationships/feed/ 1 The $12,000.00 Bad Idea http://dethroner.com/2008/03/18/the-1200000-bad-idea/ http://dethroner.com/2008/03/18/the-1200000-bad-idea/#comments Tue, 18 Mar 2008 11:42:58 +0000 Jason http://dethroner.com/2008/03/18/the-1200000-bad-idea/

Seems our hero, London floor-fitter Lefkos Hajji had a really bad idea. He decided to put a $12,000.00 engagement ring in a helium balloon and not hold on.

But as he left the shop, a gust of wind pulled the balloon from his hand and he watched the ring — and quite possibly the affections of his girlfriend — sailing away over the rooftops.

Wow. I’d be pissed at him too — for being a dumb ass — but it seems Lefkos girlfriend has decided to show him harsh: refusing to speak to him until he can replace the ring. Taking a quick look at the prices charged by one London Floor-Fitting company, I think she is being a bit unreasonable.

Honey, will you marry… Oh. Never mind…[Yahoo News]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2008/03/18/the-1200000-bad-idea/feed/ 20 How to Make a Man Bond with You After Sex http://dethroner.com/2008/03/03/how-to-make-a-man-bond-with-you-after-sex/ http://dethroner.com/2008/03/03/how-to-make-a-man-bond-with-you-after-sex/#comments Mon, 03 Mar 2008 18:57:10 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2008/03/03/how-to-make-a-man-bond-with-you-after-sex/ This one’s for the ladies, courtesy of oxytocin expert Susan Kuchinskas:

Because vasopressin, a neurochemical of attention and defense, also seems to be more involved in male mating, men are likely to feel more bonded if they’re already invested in the relationship in some way, if they need to defend the woman from danger or there’s just a lot of other kinds of excitement involved.

The perfect date to get a man to bond during sex: The car gets stuck in the mud on the way to your bungie jumping. He gets it out, both of you bungie, she’s a little scared afterward. Just a little…

Men, keep this in mind the next time she invites you out for a little out-of-town bungie jumping.

And for the gays, I could speculate on your perfect date using some easy stereotypical punchlines and oh how we’d all laugh, but I’m more curious to know what the neurochemical bonding action is when you guys do the dew. A 2004 paper about heterosexual bonding briefly mentioned the same curiosity, but I can’t find any proper research on it.

TIPS FROM A MATCHMAKER [Hug the Monkey]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2008/03/03/how-to-make-a-man-bond-with-you-after-sex/feed/ 3 Always makes me laugh. http://dethroner.com/2008/02/29/always-makes-me-laugh/ http://dethroner.com/2008/02/29/always-makes-me-laugh/#comments Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:44:44 +0000 Jason http://dethroner.com/2008/02/29/always-makes-me-laugh/

]]> http://dethroner.com/2008/02/29/always-makes-me-laugh/feed/ 0 Writing a Check Your Libido Can’t Cash http://dethroner.com/2007/10/01/writing-a-check-your-libido-cant-cash/ http://dethroner.com/2007/10/01/writing-a-check-your-libido-cant-cash/#comments Mon, 01 Oct 2007 20:10:55 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/10/01/writing-a-check-your-libido-cant-cash/ From the New York Post:

In recently filed court papers, Elisa Kwon accuses her former beau Greg Calvino, 45, of reneg ing on a pledge he had made to not “use drugs, stay out late, frequent strippers or prosti tutes.” The 30-something Kwon insists Calvino had vowed that if he ever did any of those things again, she could cash a $100,000 check he had made out to her.

After Calvino’s allegedly debauched boys’ night out at a strip club in March 2005, that’s just what Kwon did.

EX IS HIT WITH 100G ‘SIN TAX’ [NYPost.com]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/10/01/writing-a-check-your-libido-cant-cash/feed/ 1 Radical Honesty http://dethroner.com/2007/09/05/radical-honesty/ http://dethroner.com/2007/09/05/radical-honesty/#comments Wed, 05 Sep 2007 12:14:10 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/09/05/radical-honesty/ I don’t read Esquire on a regular basis, although I usually like what I find there. (Their regular web content is too short and blippy, though.) But A.J. Jacobs, the guy who wrote this piece about “Radical Honesty” occasionally reads Dethroner, so I’m going to link it because I think it’s a fun piece and because I think it might net me another email where he says he likes the site.

inform our twenty-seven-year-old nanny that “if my wife left me, I would ask you out on a date, because I think you are stunning.”
She laughs. Nervously.
“I think that makes you uncomfortable, so I won’t mention it again. It was just on my mind.”
Now I’ve made my own skin crawl. I feel like I should just buy a trench coat and start lurking around subway platforms. Blanton says he doesn’t believe sex talk in the workplace counts as sexual harassment — it’s tight-assed society’s fault if people can’t handle the truth — but my nanny confession just feels like pure abuse of power.

The subject of the article, the man behind “Radical Honesty,” is Brad Blanton, a crotchety old man who might be living the dream. The one where he says everything that’s on his mind, feelings be damned, and doesn’t worry a bit about what other people think of him.

I Think You’re Fat [Esquire]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/09/05/radical-honesty/feed/ 13 Headline of the Day http://dethroner.com/2007/09/04/headline-of-the-day-4/ http://dethroner.com/2007/09/04/headline-of-the-day-4/#comments Tue, 04 Sep 2007 19:43:51 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/09/04/headline-of-the-day-4/ Headline of the Day: “Men want hot women, study confirms” [CNN]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/09/04/headline-of-the-day-4/feed/ 2 Discovering Porn on Your Boyfriend’s Computer http://dethroner.com/2007/08/24/discovering-porn-on-your-boyfriends-computer/ http://dethroner.com/2007/08/24/discovering-porn-on-your-boyfriends-computer/#comments Fri, 24 Aug 2007 11:37:45 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/08/24/discovering-porn-on-your-boyfriends-computer/ Here’s one woman’s four-page tale about the emotionally wrenching heartache and deep-tissue discussions she had to go through after discovering—while looking through her boyfriend’s web browser logs—that he purchases and uses porn. It’s almost touching, if it weren’t so pathetic.

To the author’s credit, she basically works it out by the end of the discussion with her boyfriend and acknowledges that it isn’t a big deal, but the comments are filled with paranoid wives warning her about the horrible addictive nature of porn. It’s as bad as meth!

Pornography is unnatural, but no more so than any use of photography or television to store and transmit images. The aim of every anti-porn issue is the desire to control a man’s sexual desires. I’d go on but I just woke up and I need to find some porn.

Discovering Porn (On Your Boyfriend’s Computer) [DivineCaroline]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/08/24/discovering-porn-on-your-boyfriends-computer/feed/ 29 If You Have to Propose, Do It Right http://dethroner.com/2007/08/21/if-you-have-to-propose-do-it-right/ http://dethroner.com/2007/08/21/if-you-have-to-propose-do-it-right/#comments Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:39:56 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/08/21/if-you-have-to-propose-do-it-right/

If nothing else, putting together a big project like this gives you time to reconsider.

Sara and I just got engaged! [EST1976]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/08/21/if-you-have-to-propose-do-it-right/feed/ 4 Good Night, Sweetheart, It’s Time You Go http://dethroner.com/2007/08/16/good-night-sweetheart-its-time-you-go/ http://dethroner.com/2007/08/16/good-night-sweetheart-its-time-you-go/#comments Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:23:48 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/08/16/good-night-sweetheart-its-time-you-go/

About 1:30 a.m. Wednesday, police say, they questioned Stanley Reimer. They say he told them he was undergoing money troubles and couldn’t afford to take care of her anymore. According to the court records, Reimer reportedly said he kissed his wife, picked her up and threw her from the balcony.

Police: KC man kissed sick wife, threw her from apartment building [Crime Scene Blog/KansasCity.com]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/08/16/good-night-sweetheart-its-time-you-go/feed/ 3 Middle-Aged, Single, No College http://dethroner.com/2007/06/25/middle-aged-single-no-college/ http://dethroner.com/2007/06/25/middle-aged-single-no-college/#comments Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:18:40 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/06/25/middle-aged-single-no-college/ Facing Middle Age With No Degree, and No Wife, according to the New York Times, is a swelling crisis for men…I think? It’s impossible to discern what the point of this piece is except to note that more men are choosing not to be married, especially if they have no higher education. I didn’t read past the first page, because I was so put off by the whiff of pity that permeates the whole thing. If a dude wants to live alone what’s the big crisis?

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/06/25/middle-aged-single-no-college/feed/ 1 No Regrets: Zombie Wife http://dethroner.com/2007/05/10/no-regrets-zombie-wife/ http://dethroner.com/2007/05/10/no-regrets-zombie-wife/#comments Thu, 10 May 2007 19:30:12 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/05/10/no-regrets-zombie-wife/

I hesitated to put this online, because the loss of a wife is a god damn tragedy, and I’m sure this guy is dealing with it the best way he knows how. Which, of course, makes the tattoo all the horrible; a beautiful young woman resurrected forever in freakish effigy, hungry for flesh.

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/05/10/no-regrets-zombie-wife/feed/ 10 Gamer Widows, Rejoice! http://dethroner.com/2007/05/07/gamer-widows-rejoice/ http://dethroner.com/2007/05/07/gamer-widows-rejoice/#comments Mon, 07 May 2007 18:43:44 +0000 Alex http://dethroner.com/2007/05/07/gamer-widows-rejoice/

It’s so common it’s a cliche: game geeks’ girlfriends and wives never get any action. For some ridiculous reason, video games are all too frequently more compelling to this dork set of society than their partner’s jubblies. JennyLC Chowdhury, an Interactive Telecommunications grad student at NYU, has created a possible solution to this problem with what she calls, “Intimate Controllers”: game controllers built into underwear, so that games are played through players physically touching one another.

Says Chowdhury,

I made a pong controller that was made from a bra. The mapping for the controller was simple – touching the left breast made the pong paddle go left and the right breast made the paddle go right….I wanted to create a type of video game play that would center around a couple’s intimacy and where two people would touch each other in order to play the game.

It’s a neat idea, but if you’re a button masher, she’d better be into rough sex.

Intimate Controllers [jennylc.com]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/05/07/gamer-widows-rejoice/feed/ 2 Germany’s Poor Judicial Decisions http://dethroner.com/2007/04/30/germanys-poor-judicial-decisions/ http://dethroner.com/2007/04/30/germanys-poor-judicial-decisions/#comments Mon, 30 Apr 2007 15:22:28 +0000 Joel http://dethroner.com/2007/04/30/germanys-poor-judicial-decisions/ A Moroccan-born immigrant asked a judge in Germany to remove her from her marriage from a man who beat her. A German judge said she should have “expected” beatings because she is a Muslim. Why do I suspect the judge is trying to make a statement about Islam at this woman’s expense? [Independent.co.uk]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/04/30/germanys-poor-judicial-decisions/feed/ 0 Woman Poses As Attorney For Prison Love http://dethroner.com/2007/04/26/woman-poses-as-attorney-for-prison-love/ http://dethroner.com/2007/04/26/woman-poses-as-attorney-for-prison-love/#comments Thu, 26 Apr 2007 16:39:48 +0000 Alex http://dethroner.com/2007/04/26/woman-poses-as-attorney-for-prison-love/ Usually it’s a crime to break out of prison; in this case it was criminal to break in.

Either the chick’s got serious nerve, the dude’s the most amazing stud ever, or the power of love truly is the most amazing force in the world. Either way, I’m kind of sad that 29 year old Tiffany Weaver got busted for impersonating a lawyer so she could gain private access to inmate Jason Moody, who is serving a 30 year sentence for manslaughter. Corrections officers witnessed the accused having sex with the prisoner and rushed in to separate the two. Talk about your “coitus interruptus.”

It’s not that I’m sorry that the man convicted of the July 12, 2003 parking lot murder will no longer be getting his tail, but that Weaver’s sheer ballsiness has come to this bitter end; I’m actually kind of impressed by the derring-do. She has been charged with false use of government identification, fraud, displaying another’s government ID, issuing fake documents and forgery.

Woman Sneaks Into Prison for Sex [ap.org]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/04/26/woman-poses-as-attorney-for-prison-love/feed/ 0 Grooming For The Ladies http://dethroner.com/2007/04/25/grooming-for-the-ladies/ http://dethroner.com/2007/04/25/grooming-for-the-ladies/#comments Wed, 25 Apr 2007 19:09:16 +0000 Alex http://dethroner.com/2007/04/25/grooming-for-the-ladies/ And it’s back to Men’s Health once again, as they’ve posted a list of seven—count’em, seven!—grooming tips for men as suggested by women. Which is to say, if you pay attention to these areas and do just what they suggest, you’ll be that much less disgusting to them. Because, y’know, men are nasty. Would you kiss you? I didn’t think so.

Of course, it does seem to be a thinly-veiled product placement pitch, as nearly every item on their agenda comes with a link to a consumer toiletry product, but really, what doesn’t these days?

That said, the second item on their list was kind of a surprise:

Mega-Minty Breath
Gargle 5 seconds before you show up and we’ll worry you’re hiding halitosis. Schedule a mouthwash buffer of 20 minutes so the flavor wears off a bit.

So wait…it’s possible for breath to be too fresh? Odd.

7 Grooming Tips for Men [menshealth.com]

]]> http://dethroner.com/2007/04/25/grooming-for-the-ladies/feed/ 5 Man Drives Into Ex’s House For Withheld Cigs http://dethroner.com/2007/04/24/man-drives-into-exs-house-for-withheld-cigs/ http://dethroner.com/2007/04/24/man-drives-into-exs-house-for-withheld-cigs/#comments Tue, 24 Apr 2007 14:54:04 +0000 Alex http://dethroner.com/2007/04/24/man-drives-into-exs-house-for-withheld-cigs/ Eric Marienau of Coeur D’Alene, Idaho, drove his truck into his wife’s house at least three times because she would not come outside to give the man a cigarette. The couple was in the process of a divorce, this stunt probably did not help. [redorbit.com]

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