These mysteries have plagued me and perhaps it is memories of my bar-mitzvah that hold me back from buying one… has anyone tried a bacon press? Does it really do the job? I have no problem getting thick, crispy pieces of bacon out of the frying pan — but I guess it could be easier.

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Usually I instantly re-gift (or perhaps it should just be called give-away) most office gifts. Things other companies send you to thank/bribe you into continuing to do business with them. Cheap wine, shitty thumb-drives that are too small from Google, other various crap with a company logo on it — I just hand it back out to anyone on staff that might want it. For the first time in recent memory, I am keeping this!

The Morse ‘First Night’ is supposed to be special as their website claims most sugar/syrup makers find the first evaporation of the season to be something special. I don’t know but the color and consistency of the syrup in the bottle suggests the Vermont fancy grade. We’ve got 1/2 a bottle of Camp’s Organic Maple Syrup to finish, but when we do — this stuff is up next (and I’m keeping the cool bottle!)

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Recently launched SliceFinder.com is a forum for just that. This site lets users rank the best (and worst) pizza in the country.

It’s about time for a website dedicated to finding the perfect slice!

Service Page [SliceFinder.com]

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But they’re not a complicated food. You toast the bagel. You put cream cheese on it. You wad it all into a softball-sized mass and force it down your gullet and deposit it directly into your stomach acids, or if you’re French, onto a small shelf that sits just above the stomach acid. Easy peasy.

And bagels have, like what, six ingredients? (The cream cheese is pretty much just milk and lactic acid, but apparently most of the store-bought stuff has several stabilizers like guar and carob gums.)

I can’t load Kraft’s site to look up the number of ingredients in their new “Bagel-Fuls” consumable food-a-like—probably a stampede of heart-smart Twinkie addicts trampling their web servers—but I’ll bet it’s more than go into a standard bagel.

This would be the place where I had just typed “why why hwy hwy whyw hwy hwyhw hwhywhwy” for about a thousand words.

I just…they’re bagels. They’re so good and so easy. Children prepare them. In the amount of time it takes to pull out a Bagel-Fuls* from the package and cook it—you have to cook these in a toaster or the microwave—you could just toast a real bagel. Adding cream cheese would take maybe 10 seconds.

What have we become?

Now I’m hungry. You know what I could go for? A Toaster Strudel. Those things rule.

Kraft’s $100 Million Idea: Cream Cheese-Filled Bagels [Brand Week]

* What is the singular of “Bagel-Fuls?” “Bagel-Ful?” Oh, god, now I can’t stop saying it quietly to myself, tripping on the gutteral hyphen area.

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Ground Beef + aged Cheddar

As Samuel L. Jackson once said, “Now that’s a tasty burger!” How do you like yours? ‘Cause when it’s cooked right, there’s nothing like a juicy burger with a thick slice of Vermont cheddar on top. You can even taste the ketchup!

Store it cool, but drink it warm!

If only this were real! Dethroner advertising dollars would go through the roof! (or Joel would trade it all away for a case of Fish ‘n Chips flavor.)

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Some online ad campaigns are really engaging—others are just plain annoying.

I have to give Taco Bell kudos on this one. You just cannot go wrong with trying to fulfill every guy’s fantasy of being a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit photographer. You get to pick which video of their model you’d like to watch, then snap pictures in Flash while she minces around. This is the closest most of us will ever get [Dream big, there, bucko. - Ed.] and hey, at least we can keep this pictures we take as a souvenir.

Pretend some more on the internet [DirectDaniella.com via The Arrested Development of Chuch]

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I’m just doing my piece, making sure you all know — the price of corn in 2008 may be 3x its price in 2005 or $6 a bushel. Get to plantin’!

Farmers are expected to plant 86 million acres of corn this year, the Department of Agriculture predicted Monday, down 8 percent from 2007, when the amount of corn planted was the highest since World War II. The decreased supply could drive corn prices even higher—a cost for food producers that could be passed on to consumers.

According to the Agriculture Department, corn planting is expected to remain at historically high levels but could be down this year because of the high expense of growing corn and favorable prices for other crops, such as soybeans.

Corn is in en vogue, being used for more than just popping, dog food and Coors. Seems ethanol production is up and using a meaningful amount of corn. I’ve been hearing tales of corn-fuel since the 70’s and I’m not sure what to believe there.

Farmers Expected to Plant Less Corn [AP]

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HERE AT LAST! The wait is OVER! Friday, February 8th, 2008 marks the day that The Original Seefurth Family Mamma Mia Pizza Beer hit the street. Brewed and bottled at the Sprecher Brewing Company just outside of Milwaukee, WI, Sprecher is already offering 16 ounce bottles for sale in their gift shop.

I’ve had a lot of beer with pizza and my local pizza parlor adds beer to the sauce, but this is truly integration at its finest. I wonder how it tastes?

Previously • Horrible Ideas: Pizza Beer with Real Pizza Bits [Dethroner]

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It is with a sad heart that I inform you, Herb Peterson, the inventor of the Egg McMuffin has passed away. Owner of several McDonald’s franchises in the Santa Barbara, CA area, Herb was unknown to me — while his invention is something I think of far too often.

Fraker, who said he worked with Peterson for 30 years, said “he was amazing as far as giving back to the community.”

“He embraced the community and the community embraced him,” Fraker said. “We loved the man.”

Thanks Herb.

Egg McMuffin inventor Herb Peterson dies in California at 89 [International Herald Tribune]

(DListed has a far meaner take on Herb’s passing.)

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My favorite is the “Happy Meal Pizza.” Take a look: it has two cheeseburgers, fries and McNuggets. The whole thing is covered in cheese and baked. America is the greatest country on earth!

The Top 10 Cheesiest Pizza Toppings in History [Asylum.com]

See also: The complete story of the Happy Meal Pizza.

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I’ve been following this beef taco recipe for several years — but we make a few simple changes:

First – use ground turkey! Trust me: beef masks the flavors of the spices, turkey lets them ring. Sure, sure sometimes a greasy beef taco is what you need. When you want really full taco flavor and to let the chili, cumin and garlic combo run: turkey is the answer.

Second – taste your chili powder. Supermarket chili powders vary a lot brand to brand. I tend to look for the international foods section and pick out some chili powder than comes in a bag instead of a bottle. For some reason I get spicier results from that buy.

Third – get high quality taco shells and fixins. I really like Bearitos taco shells and will always heat them in the oven before serving. The warm shell makes a big difference. Also fresh organic tomatoes and lettuce. You’re going to be eating this stuff raw on top of the taco, it should be great quality.

I really love the Turkey Tacos. Its an easy and tasty dinner to prepare that always leaves us (2 adults) with leftovers that heat up great into another meal.

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Joe Vento posted the signs at his shop in October 2005. They read “This is AMERICA: WHEN ORDERING ‘PLEASE SPEAK ENGLISH.’”

Critics allege the policy discourages customers of certain backgrounds from eating there. They say the signs discourage non-English speakers from going to the shop.

I’m not sure how I stand on this — its his shop and the article did say no one is turned away due to their lack of English; it does say “please.”

Philly Steak Shop Didn’t Discriminate[Breitbart.com]

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Now each of these blogs had written about ye old Batter Blaster several months ago. One, treehugger, over a year ago. I’d seen the name Batter Blaster in 3 places I trusted and none of them had negative connotations. One of them was Dethroner’s own King-in-Chief, Joel.

Boing Boing Gadgets: Joel on the Batter Blaster
Boing Boing: David on the Batter Blaster
TreeHugger: Jasmine on the Batter Blaster

If you read these blog posts, not a single one of them has anything stronger to say than our own Joel “I’m sure it’ll be a big hit.” Each blogger simply shares that the stuff exists — Joel and David provide some anecdotal reason it ought to be good, TreeHugger asks for your opinion. However, I’ve now been “touched” by this brand in 3 blog locations and for some reason left thinking I should buy this product; and I did.

Each of these sources was sharing something they thought looked fun and not offering any concrete guidance — but 2 of the 3 made it sound as if it SHOULD be good. As I generally trust and can rely on them; when I saw the product it registered as a high percentage choice.

High percentage chance to to get bland waffles and pancakes is what it is! This stuff is garbage. If you have ever made your own pancake or waffle batter and know what it looks, smells and tastes like, be prepared for disappointment. I’m a big fan of just taking Bisquick, adding a shot of Grand Mariner and calling it a day. That simple, 3 minute process makes flawless pancakes and waffles that taste fantastic. Trust me, try the Grand Mariner — ignore the aerosol. As you spray your Batter Blaster all over the waffle iron, you’ll notice it isn’t smooth and doesn’t flow nicely from the center out. The batter from the aerosol is fluffy and oozes. It has too much nitrous or whatever they use to pressurize the can in it and rises as it exits the can. This gives you the impression of a fluffy nice waffle or pancake, but as the gas separates from the batter you end up with thin and rubbery.

Yes, folks — after a batter blast I was left with a flacid waffle.

Why is it so popular for bloggers to spotlight things they haven’t tried? Is there some justification that says “I can write a moderately positive piece on some product, sight unseen, so long as I don’t directly endorse it.”? I see this all the time with other products and while none of these 3 blogs told me to go buy the product, I am left feeling like the positive associations created a false recommendation. Its that multiple brand touches associated with something you trust builds affinity ‘thing.’

Am I nuts? Maybe I am just an easily duped American.

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The incident only came to the attention of senior officers after one of their fellow soldiers reported the fact that he had been asked to donate some blood for the scheme.
The man is reported to have said: “I have been asked to give blood for sausage-making and I want to know if this is against regulations.”

This never would have happened in the Carpathian Air Force.

Airmen made sausages from their blood [Telegraph.co.uk via Danger Room]

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An hour long discussion with Anthony Bourdain, moderated by Google Executive Chef Nate Keller. The story about Billy Joel is great.

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So you want to know the best way to bake a potato? Golden, crispy brown skins and soft, tasty potato-goodness inside? It’s quite simple and easy to do, and if you follow along with me I will show you how to do it every step of the way.

Its a pretty long and well done walk-thru. I’d never heard of the olive oil and salt method and can believe the skin will be delicious; I plan to use some white truffle olive oil. Generally, I clean the potato, pre-heat my oven to 400deg CONVECTION BAKE, punch a few holes with a fork and knock an aluminum nail length-wise into the potato. Convection gets me crispy skin and fluffy perfect potato meat.

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Though we just got back from our most recent culinary adventure, the 2.0somethings crew is already gearing up for our spring break plans: The First Annual Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival in Des Moines, Iowa. The festival will be held at the High Life Lounge on March 1. According to The Register, “PBR will be offered for $1 a draw, paired with succulent dishes such as bacon-wrapped shrimp, little bacon cheeseburgers, a bacon-wrapped jalapeno and tater tot – all the gourmet bacon foods.” The festival will also include bacon-flavored craft beers, a “Blazin’ Bacon Bloody Mary, served with a slice of peppered bacon,” and maple bacon cheesecake. No word on whether EMTs will be standing by to provide on-the-spot bypasses.

Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival [2.0somethings.com]

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Serious Eats has been keeping track of all the companies Irvine has endorsed pull out of their business deals faster than a vagina janitor in a centipede factory.

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