Over the past week on Dethroner, I think my paucity of parenting aptitude has become clear even to readers least knowledgeable in the fatherly arts.
The evidence (in chronological order):
• I would not allow my wife to tie a string to my testicles during childbirth.
• No male breastfeeding.
• My greatest parenting fear: Taco Bell-like rats.
• [...]

My grandfather has had ten kids in his life, and he’s changed exactly one diaper. Since defecation experts estimate the average number of diapers per child to hit around 6,000 before they get the hang of the toilet, that puts the approximate tally at Grandpa: 1, Grandma: 59,999.
For most dads today, that ratio’s not [...]

Before you become a father, it’s easy to get cocky about what horrors you have in store for your progeny. Father-son fishing trips, beer clean-up duty for toddlers, male breastfeeding; that sort of thing. Nature’s little secret, though, is that when the big day actually rolls around, your body will have been transformed into a [...]

One of the most gut-wrenching, time-consuming tasks of new parenthood is one which fathers can’t much help with: breastfeeding. Dads, of course, can politely ask “How’s that latch going?” Or they can question the frequency of feedings (This one’s my specialty: Is he eating too much!?!? Is he eating too little!??!?). But that, for [...]

For most clued-in dads these days, fatherhood begins in the delivery room. You refill your baby mama’s water glass, tell her to picture herself in her happy place, and maybe remind her to order the epidural early. The event’s far more down-and-dirty than what the last couple generations of dads experienced (for many of them, [...]