Man Bangs Dog: Just Say No to Bestiality

It’s probably a good idea to set some boundaries on this week’s theme. Consider: Michael Patrick McPhail, accused of shtupping his family’s 4-year-old female pit bull terrier. McPhail was caught by his wife banging the dog on their backporch, which inspired her to take a couple pictures with her cameraphone before calling the police. (Unlike my girlfriend, who would probably upload them to the internet and call my friends.)

I think there’s a certain Anne McCaffrey-esque, utopian beauty to the idea of inter-species sex; I hope that when dogs finally achieve full sentience we can all enjoy many sweaty, smelly rolls in the backyard of our orbital condo. Until then, there’s one overarching problem with bestiality: Dogs can’t say no. Despite the sashaying tail and longing glaces towards the overturned jar of peanut butter, you dog doesn’t really want to bone you. Please resist.

Spanaway Man Accused Of Having Sex With Dog [KiroTV]