So There I Was, Surfing the Top of My Driverless Van…

Pardon Crime Scene KC, but I’m just going to quote your post in its entirety. Every word is crucial:

Man climbs onto the roof of the moving minivan he had been driving. He stands on the van’s roof until it crashes and throws him into the woods, police say.
The guy gets up, takes off all his clothes and then runs along the highway — until police are able to subdue him. It takes three Taser charges and some pepper spray. Did we mention the footlong gash on his torso, through which you could look at his internal organs?

Okay, I excised one word to make it unclear from which state the man hailed, forcing this post into compliance with internet stealing protocol and obscuring the location of a place that produces such crazy, ballsy motherfuckers.

“I’ve never seen anything like this in 22 years” [Crime Scene KC]