Ask Dethroner: What Do I Do at an Office Casino Party?

Alert! Reader Malcolm O. has a problem and needs us to help:

My workplace has decided to have a night out on Saturday. Usually, it’s a rowdy 150 people or so in a bar (or bars) on the night after payday. This time however, they’ve decided to go upmarket, and take advantage of the hospitality of a local business intimidated by a new arrival. A Casino.

Now, I know full well I am going (It’s a rare opportunity to socialise with my fellow co-workers without them almost passing out from alcohol poisoning), but sadly my knowledge is a combination of playing a bit online and watching reruns of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Add to that the fact that this is the UK and therefore is more stuffy than Las Vegas, and the fact that I have no idea what the hell I’m doing in most work-related social situations, this means I need help.

What the hell do you do in a UK Casino, without (a) looking like a fat and badly dressed James Bond-alike, nor (b) ruining anyone else’s gambling with casino faux pas aplenty…

This is going to be a tough 48 hours…

First of all, don’t fret. Casino’s are never as classy as they may seem, even if they are in merry ol’ England.

Dress sharp, but don’t overdress. Bond is a casino, despite your worry, is about right. A jacket and an open shirt, perhaps, but ditch the tie. (And I figured you weren’t even considering the tux.)

Work related social situations are all about letting your co-workers get drunk before you do. Head in, order a scotch and soda—heavy on the soda—and begin your slow sip. Walk around, giving everyone a couple of hours to get loosened up while you retain your wits. Hell, you could even show up a couple hours late. You’ll look cooler and will still have a spring in your step while they’re drooling all over each other telling stories about the sale that got away.

If you don’t know how to gamble, don’t. Most casinos don’t mind you standing at the table along with someone else, allowing you to enjoy the drama without risking any money of your own. All the better to be the guy with a few pounds in his pocket when some poor upset co-worker loses all her cash and could really just use a drink.