Michael Vick is a Twat

I mentioned to a friend last night that Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has been indicted on dog-fighting charges, and he sort of shrugged. “Don’t you eat meat? What’s wrong with letting animals kill each other?” The problem is, of course, that hunting animals or raising them for food doesn’t require—in theory—any unnecessary cruelty. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with eating meat, per se, but we’re cognizant enough now as a people to realize that preventing unnecessary suffering isn’t just the polite thing to do, it also makes the meat taste better. That’s why we don’t send bulldogs after bulls any longer.

But for me it’s just worse because it’s dogs. Dogs aren’t just animals anymore, to my mind. They’re a symbiotic species that’s evolved to feed on our love. That’s why I can see racks and racks of pigs in a window, animals just as smart as dogs, and not feel a lick of remorse: pigs are dicks. I’d probably eat dog in another country, just like I’d eat whale or anything else at least once, but the pangs I feel when I see pictures of food dogs on the street in Asia are unavoidable.

My point: Michael Vick, a man who made millions of dollars to play a game, should know better than to electrocute, torture, and otherwise treat as completely disposable one of the nicest species on the planet. I hope he goes to jail for a suitable amount of time.