Are Safe Fireworks Fights Possible?

A discussion this weekend was echoed by one I had this morning with reader Matt K about the Iggulden brothers’ Dangerous Book for Boys: where have all the childhood explosions gone?

When we were young, M-80s—tauted, perhaps apocryphally, as having the power of a “quarter stick of dynamite”—were already long gone, blown off the fireworks stand like so many fleshy digits. Instead our battles were fought primarily with bottle rockets and Black Cats, with a few Roman candles throw in for color.

Our most effective technique: squishing a handful of dense, wet mud around a firecracker, letting it dry enough that it would stay together when lobbed, to form dirt grenades. We took special care not to have any pebbles in the mud; catching a half-facefull of stinging mud was punishment enough.

And of course, the ultimate insult was to shoot a bottle rocket at someone else’s chest, timed so that the final explosion occurred right under their face with a wallop. One of those was usually enough to cause a soldier from the opposing army to walk off the field of battle sobbing.

Now I understand that people don’t want their kids to lose an eye or come inside with a fistful of blood blisters, but surely there are ways to have a healthy fireworks war without all the risk of injury. I’m thinking paintball helmets or at least goggles.