Flexible Bastard of the Day: Chuck Norris Action Jeans

Because you never know when you might have to do a high kick into the face of the checkout girl who won’t take your coupons, Chuck Norris Action Jeans “won’t bind your legs.” Of course, you might want to skip the slick-bottomed cowboy boots, unless you’re Chuck Norris, who does not interface with friction like a normal material object.