Lies Your Sitcom Mother Told You

Moms are dumb. At least the shrill caricatures of moms that I’m not quite sure ever actually existed, except when they were my buddy Mike’s hilarious Filipina mother Linda, who would chide his bad language with screams of “What the shit, Michael. Your mouth all the time!” Then she would cook us lumpia. God, I love you, Linda.

The Ririan Project isn’t a crappy jazz trio—it’s a blog that has collected and debunked “15 Warnings From Mom That You Needn’t Worry About.”

Warning #14: “Don’t cross your eyes. They’ll get stuck!”

Truth: Intentionally crossing the eyes is never a cause of strabismus (crossed eyes); the eyes cannot get “stuck” in a crossed position.

There is at least one glaring omission: “Momma said knock you out.” Truth: Your mother is a nice lady who advised you to simply ignore bullies.

15 Warnings From Mom That You Needn’t Worry About [RirianProject.com]