I Am Going To Build a Lamp

There’s a scene I keep imagining when I consider the prospect of building a lamp, (which I’ll be doing this weekend, and documenting for posterity): I construct the thing, plug it in, finally flip the switch, and the next thing I know I’m meeting St. Peter who’s reading me a rap sheet of ever selfish, shitty thing I’ve ever done.

While this is an amusing enough notion, I think I’d rather avoid it. I guess I’ll be all careful and follow these basic instructions. And yes, I’m being all faggy and building it out of one of those Fuck Up My Hair Barbie heads. Take a walk if you have a problem with that.