But She Doesn’t Love You, Tim

As we approach Valentine’s Day, remember that loving your partner means working on the relationship before it’s over. That’s a lesson the poor slob, Tim Corban, who runs “I-Love-You-Kenisha.com” could have stood to learn, as his saccharine appeals to his ex-wife seem to have fallen on happily-single ears.

Three weeks after being served with divorce papers, Tim got a horrible tattoo, a cluster of three hearts inside a heart, with his ex-wife Kenisha’s name on the bottom and his Lord Jesus’s name on the top. In fact, Tim has wrapped up his site-wide plea in shmaltzy spirituality, busting out Old Testament verses decrying divorce with goofy cartoons about God’s power. (Not to mention the continual misspelling of the “Babtist” church in which Tim and Kenisha were married.)

Kenisha, this dude is a tasteless creep. No matter how much advertising, on-air radio begging, or stamp-his-feet praying he does, you’ve made the right choice. Run free, Kenisha!

The Trainwreck [I-Love-You-Kenisha.com]