Hair Products For Men, Volume 3: Slime

Brilliantine: A close cousin of the pomade family, only more oil-based and lightweight. It is heralded for adding luster and body without adding excessive buildup. The cache here is that your grandfathers probably used it, so there’s the cool old boy factor built in, even if you’re using Bumble and bumble’s instead of the thicker Yardley’s of London, which is a lavender-scented pomade.

Men who use this also tend toward other classics, like Old Spice, Bay Rum, and witch hazel. Yes, Bruce Campbell probably uses it too.

More slimey stuff after the jump

Anti-Frizz Lotion: Fairly self-definitive. With this stuff the old rule of ‘less is more’ applies doubly so. All this does is controls frizz from humidity, split ends, or fried hair, and don’t ask it to do more than that or your hair will look oily and stringy. Mixes well with mousse and paste. The folks at Allure Magazine are big fans of Jon Frieda’s Frizz-Ease line, and those sassy bitches would know.

Straightening/Shining Serum: First off, if you want shiny hair, start by rinsing your hair in cold water, which closes the cuticles. Air dry and you’ll be amazed at how much shinier and smoother your hair feels than when you rinse it in warm water. Once in a while you might consider a vinegar treatment, but too much of that and you will dry your hair out which kills the shine, and leaves you smelling like the olive bar at finer Greek delis.

That said, most of the better straightening/shining serums are a silicone-based, which coat the strands of hair on a molecular level and allows you to fry eggs on it with a non stick, easy to clean surface. Har har har. Straightening serums offer all the benefits of the shining serum but also promise to kill the curl. In my experience it’s all in the technique; to be actually effective, you have to brush this stuff through while blow-drying wet hair; start at the bottom and work to your crown for best results. Mix with a little pomade for some easy hold, but watch out for weighty buildup, which will leave hair limp and lifeless. Note that silicone builds up and it’s difficult to cut through with normal shampoo, might take two or three washings to get it all out.

I’ve had a good experience with Head Wear Straightening Serum; it’s got a tangy smell, it’s got microscopic glitter in it which I’m a sucker for, and it’s a bright, unnatural pink, so it looks cool in my bathroom