A script reader got a hold of the movie written by professional internet bastard Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. They didn’t like it. (This is where I would tried to add “They must have been fat — or a woman!” but the sarcasm just didn’t come through.)

One other highlight before I go down for my mono nap: A major comic set piece in the script is when Tucker makes his big sexual conquest over a midget. And that’s the joke. Not that that she has a big, tall or tiny, little boyfriend who comes after Tucker, or that she looks at his junk and says “I’ve had bigger” (I am not saying that’s very funny…but it is at least a joke) or, for that matter, anything anyone says throughout is humorous. Just that she’s a midget. Because midgets are inherently funny, not to mention cutting edge for comedy. Especially when the writers emphasize how grotesque it is simply to be a little person and to have short, “sausage fingers” that barely wrap around a guy’s…well you get the picture. Isn’t that hilarious? She’s small and therefore a freak. Comedy paydirt. I only wish I could get more! Wait, I’ve got it: Someone should get a bunch of midgets and like travel around the country with them so people can laugh at their comedy (i.e. that they exist) …maybe get some other inherently funny people like ladies with facial hair to join in, and draw attention to the comedy show with like a big, bright tent or something. I am on fire with ideas today. My point isn’t that the above is offensive, but that it’s not even slightly funny. Ever. Ditto the rest of the script.

Of course, a shitstorm erupts in the comments as Tucker Max fans claim that the script reader [em]just didn’t understand the humor[/em] and therefor must be (wait for it) fat and a woman. (But she can prove them otherwise by posting a picture!)

The Tucker Max Movie: Idiot’s Delight (spoilers below) [Film Industry Bloggers]