Kraft Bagel-Fuls: All of the Trouble of a Bagel Without All That Pesky Deliciousness
7 Comments Published by Joel April 7th, 2008 in Food. Share This
A fresh baked bagel is modest, delicate food, toasted to crackling on the outside but giving resistance enough to force the need to tear off each bite, usually leaving a lateral smear of hot cream cheese across your face. The best ones are from New York, of course, but any fresh-baked bagel is worth tracking down. Even frozen bagels, as shameful as the need for them may be, can be edible.
But they’re not a complicated food. You toast the bagel. You put cream cheese on it. You wad it all into a softball-sized mass and force it down your gullet and deposit it directly into your stomach acids, or if you’re French, onto a small shelf that sits just above the stomach acid. Easy peasy.
And bagels have, like what, six ingredients? (The cream cheese is pretty much just milk and lactic acid, but apparently most of the store-bought stuff has several stabilizers like guar and carob gums.)
I can’t load Kraft’s site to look up the number of ingredients in their new “Bagel-Fuls” consumable food-a-like—probably a stampede of heart-smart Twinkie addicts trampling their web servers—but I’ll bet it’s more than go into a standard bagel.
This would be the place where I had just typed “why why hwy hwy whyw hwy hwyhw hwhywhwy” for about a thousand words.
I just…they’re bagels. They’re so good and so easy. Children prepare them. In the amount of time it takes to pull out a Bagel-Fuls* from the package and cook it—you have to cook these in a toaster or the microwave—you could just toast a real bagel. Adding cream cheese would take maybe 10 seconds.
What have we become?
Now I’m hungry. You know what I could go for? A Toaster Strudel. Those things rule.
Kraft’s $100 Million Idea: Cream Cheese-Filled Bagels [Brand Week]
* What is the singular of “Bagel-Fuls?” “Bagel-Ful?” Oh, god, now I can’t stop saying it quietly to myself, tripping on the gutteral hyphen area.
That looks awful.
Best bagels are in NY? As if. I wouldn’t go as far as saying they’re the best in the world but I think of 2-3 places in London alone that make better bagels then the most famous places in NY. Also, shame on you for mentioning a cream cheese bagel but not the smoked salmon, it’s just not the same without it.
Almost as awful as the sliced ‘peanut butter’.
are you kidding? LONDON has better bagels than NYC?
I assume you mean some of the chains or average places in manhattan. Trust me , I know you haven’t been out to Brooklyn for Bagels. I have had Bagels in the UK, Europe and Japan…and they didn’t come c lose.
Meh, New Yorkers think everything they have is better. A paper-thin piece of dough the size of a toilet seat does not make great pizza, sorry.
Actually these are quite delicious
To me it’s food porn…I mean, think about eating this thing… NO. nonononononono.
I think that’s why it’s so appealing… it’s phallic… and at the same time, yonic… and filled with cream. Kraft wrapped it all into one tasty treat.