I don’t read Esquire on a regular basis, although I usually like what I find there. (Their regular web content is too short and blippy, though.) But A.J. Jacobs, the guy who wrote this piece about “Radical Honesty” occasionally reads Dethroner, so I’m going to link it because I think it’s a fun piece and because I think it might net me another email where he says he likes the site.
inform our twenty-seven-year-old nanny that “if my wife left me, I would ask you out on a date, because I think you are stunning.”
She laughs. Nervously.
“I think that makes you uncomfortable, so I won’t mention it again. It was just on my mind.”
Now I’ve made my own skin crawl. I feel like I should just buy a trench coat and start lurking around subway platforms. Blanton says he doesn’t believe sex talk in the workplace counts as sexual harassment — it’s tight-assed society’s fault if people can’t handle the truth — but my nanny confession just feels like pure abuse of power.
The subject of the article, the man behind “Radical Honesty,” is Brad Blanton, a crotchety old man who might be living the dream. The one where he says everything that’s on his mind, feelings be damned, and doesn’t worry a bit about what other people think of him.
I Think You’re Fat [Esquire]
That’s awesome. But I think most of you are too big of a pussy to try and do this in daily life.
None of us are as big of a pussy as all of us.
i do it to a degree its not worth it.
it fucks relationships up.
I’m all for honesty and open communication, but that’s just a tactless and creepy thing to say to someone who is looking after your kids.
I appreciate you posting that article, Joel, it was hilarious and insightful.
I resent you for your fun, informative blog.
I wish you could update more, but you gotsta eat, I’m sure.
It’s a work of performance art! Via Metafilter’s comments thread:
You people are so gullible. When I went to the Radical Honesty website, I recognized the guy in the picture claiming to be “Brad Blanton”. He’s an improv comic in L.A. who I met at a Groundlings comedy class I took a long time ago. Hadn’t talked to him in years, but I called him and he spilled the whole story. The original “Brad Blanton” is a TV sitcom writer (not real famous but you’ve probably seen his name on one of the better shows) who wrote the Radical Honesty book as a goof. He started out doing phone interviews (claiming to be ‘visiting L.A.’ to the callers) and when he first got a request for a media interview, he hired my acquaintance to be his ‘face’. The Esquire writer wrote his whole article based on a press kit and then contacted “Brad” to get permission to publish his hoax (and THEN learned it was all a BIGGER hoax). After all, this is the same Esquire writer who did a piece in the First Person as God. They’re going to officially deny this, but I have permission to put it here. The whole “Radical Honesty” schtick is gaining momentum (Performance Brad is going to be on Oprah) and the author liked the idea of a little web-viral controversy (and knows MetaFilter). The original author has talked about revealing the hoax after selling X number of books, but I don’t know how serious he is. Anyway, fools, enjoy your “Radical Honesty”, but remember, one of the easier ways to tell a liar is when he goes out of his way to tell you he’s NOT lying. And I’m not lying.
I’ve been that way ever since college (12 yrs ago) I think. Even with a government job (Army Officer of all things) I found that being completely, brutally honest and unequivocal have made a few enemies – Can’t lie about that. But for every person who walks away hating me, I have gained much respect/admiration/adoration from 3-4 others, and made some close friends along the way.
In this age of low-testosterone males, it’s amazing to me that so many recoil in fear when someone gives a brutally honest (and solicited) opinion to even another friend. As far as relationships go, yeah, I lost quite a few along the way when I told them how they were annoying me, but I found one who loved that about me, and we have been together for 11 years.
As for the author’s example, well there’s a difference between giving solicited judgment or making a comment like that in a club or bar, and making that comment in the setting he did. Saying what’s on your mind should at least be filtered for some level of professional appropriateness.
i’m not brutally honest to the people that have it hard, like ultra-dorks and such. besides that i pretty much tell it as it is. all the girls i date ask me to lie to them though.
yeah, it is a hoax. but fucking brilliant in every way.
I tried brutal honesty for some periods of my life, but relationship with friends and family would worsen everytime. You dotn come across like honest, cut-the-bullshit kind of guy. people just think you are an asshole. asshole who has no respect to other people, to their feelings and etc.
If you want to live in society and function in group of people as a member – you need to learn to consider that your feelings are not always most important. you are not always most important. most of the time you are not importatnt at all, even so you would like to belive otherwise. so unless you are completely independent from society and live of the grid – you have only 2 choices. Be respectfull to others, or be a pricky, egoistical asshole..
You can be honest, even brutally honest, but you’re going to run into times when people can’t handle the truth, or not able to handle the truth at that time. Know that you are not Godlike, just opinionated. Know when to shut up.
I loved the line about “throwing away the filter between your brain and your mouth”, hoax or not. That’s how my roommate introduces me to people. “This is Mark. He has no filter, whatever bounces around in his big empty head comes out of his mouth. Most of the time it’s funny, sometimes he’s a huge asshole, but you get used to him”
:)
He’s no hoax. I don’t know who the guy up above is who claimed Brad is an LA comic, but Brad Blanton is 67 years old and the real thing. I first met him ten years ago for therapy (he was great) and just finished spending two weeks with him as a potential new employee. He’s brilliant, abrasive, right about honesty, wrong about the process (I just took flight because I couldn’t stand his lack of executive function and propensity to say f*** you to everyone and everything he disagrees with)
The honesty is great, but the lack of respect and lovingkindness sucks. I wish Brad the best, but fear that his obnoxious manners will ultimately stifle the greatness he so dearly wants. There is radical honesty and then there is self-serving honesty. There is a difference.
Brad Blanton does not believe in a God..does that surprise you?