I was never much for construction toys. I had a few, but they served primarily as fodder for missile or dinosaur attack. Yet I’m charmed by the wide variety of construction-themed party favors available at “Celebrate Express.” (We were thinking of hosting a kids-themed party for two adult friends. Or I like to throw unattended children’s parties were I sit alone at the kitchen table, motionless, as the elastic band of a party hat cuts into my stubble.)

What a party one could throw! Caution tape wound around the bannister. A swinging 20-inch bulldozer pinata swinging from the light fixture. They even sell cups that are shaped like road cones.

What I’m saying is that I want this party for my next birthday. And strippers.

Constuction Party [Celebrate Express]