Ask Dethroner: Men And Nailpolish?
30 Comments Published by Alex July 16th, 2007 in Ask Dethroner, Grooming. Share This
This one came in last week from a longtime reader, who asks the right guy the right question…
What is your take on men and nail polish? I love having painted toenails and the ladies seem to really dig it. I have even been taken by the arm by a total stranger to have her tell me that I made her day. I think it’s mainly that the ladies really like to see an ‘original’ man — someone who doesn’t necessarily care what the rule book says. My wife thinks it’s very stylin’ and often actually does the painting. I only wish I had the cajones to do the fingernails too. I know Hard Candy tried, years ago, to market nail polish for men but it never took off. Saturday I saw another painted-toenails guy in a bookstore and thought I should ask you for your opinion.
Response after the jump.
Well, having only just an hour ago taken off the fingernail polish I’d been wearing all last week out at the Oregon Country Fair, I have to say that I’m a big supporter of dudes wearing nail polish on toes and fingers. Of course, I’m also a big supporter of dudes piercing their flesh and hanging from meathooks, getting lots of ink, sporting fucked up hairdoo and wearing high heels. I also think it’d be fun to go to jail for a month or two as an adventure that money can’t buy. What can I say, my parents fucked up, but I’m happy this way.
Most other folks, and dudes in particular, will look at a guy wearing nail polish as a freak, bottom line, end of story. It doesn’t matter if it’s one of those bizarro Urban Decay colors that are decidedly non-feminine either. I have only had a period of maybe a month or two, collectively, over the last 20 years where my toes weren’t painted. I’m a total devotee, and I often have painted fingernails too. And I swear by Hard Candy! Their gunmetal grey is great, so is that one that’s glittery black, I think it’s called stardust or something. Urban Decay’s got some good colors too. My wife loves it and we paint each other’s nails all the time.
For the fingers if you’re still leery of doing a bold color – and that’s totally understandable, btw – you may wanna go the mafioso/executive path and get a man’s manicure with a buffed smoth coat of clear polish. Looks elegant and slick without being ‘in your face’. You just feel more…what, sophisticated? Genteel? I dunno, but I dig it, and the service itself feels totally self-indulgent, even if it’s under $20.
You could probably get away with wearing green and gold nail polish to a Green Bay Packer game, but your face and probably your car would have to be painted to match. Otherwise, there is not a lot of room in Middle America for men to wear that stuff.
All this said, the right guy can get away with damned near anything. Keef Richards has been wearing nail polish for decades. I’ve been wearing eyeliner since 1984. If your lifestyle enables it, and you resonate to some kind of left of center look, fucking hell, we need you on the fringe in these increasingly rigid times. Shake things up a little, make people realize that they’re not just mindless drones fitting into prefab boxes. On the other hand, an awful lot of people take comfort in fitting in, and part of that is lobbing stones at those who live outside of the herd.
So yes, if you dare, be prepared to be the subject of ridicule and scorn by most, although those who embrace you doing it are probably the folks you’d prefer to hang with anyway.
Incidently, the picture of the rednecky coot in nailpolish is of Rob “Acidman” Smith, who kept an excellent blog until his untimely death just over a year ago. Do check it out on the link below; his was a brutally honest voice of wisdom from a guy who dealt with alcoholism, coal mining towns and sulphuric acid in Kentucky. Great stories in a frank and strong voice. Kind of a man’s man, even for this weirdo.
Images: Hardcandy.com, GutRumbles.com
Dear Passion for Polish,
There was a time when I too wore eye-liner and nail polish. That time is unfortunately now gone. There is a phrase “perception is reality” that applies here. People do not react to reality (you’re a nice, regular guy who wears nail polish) but rather they react to their perception of reality (”Hey that guy wearing nail polish must be a freak”).
Whether you’re OK doing it, frankly, primarily depends on the job you have and (to a lesser extent) on the company that you keep. Probably won’t fly in a typical corporate environment, where any fringe adornment will likely label you as “not a team player / doesn’t fit in” rather than “a cool individual”.
As long as you know what you’re getting into, follow your passion.
What in the world are you “guys” thinking? Do you want to try out tampons and maybe some douche too–you know, just so you can “feel like a woman”? Try to resist the gay temptation in you or just embrace it, but don’t pussy foot around the fact that you wish you were a woman.
Good grief!
I don’t think it’s a good sign of a real man. Women probably like the idea of men having their toenails and fingernails painted because it looks clean..
My view, and I am a pretty open minded guy.. used to hang out with a guy in college who would wear dresses (freak by association)… nail polish is “pretty”. If you want to feel “pretty”, wear it, but don’t bother with attempting to be “manly” at the same time, it isn’t going to happen. There is a reason most of the colors have fluffy names :)
It’s no longer original either, thanks to the new wave of goth/emo kids running around… who are probably ruining it for those who genuinely want to do it, and are perfectly comfortable doing it. And not as some sad little fashion wave.
Now, a manny/petty and a glossy finish, thats another story Completely. Thats a sign of man taking care of himself, and taking pride in his appearance. women Will notice this, and it shows that you know how to put yourself together.
J.
I think the two pics pretty much sum it up: under 30-okay if you look the part, over 30-not okay and screams oddball.
This does make me wish I could stop biting my nails so I could go get a manicure. How long do nails need to be to take advantage of one?
I would say male nail painting died circa 2001, but was on its way out in 1999. I understand you want to go against culture, blah, blah blah, but if you’re over 16, you should be getting adjusted to dealing with it.
I agree with the male manicure though. It’s less of an anti-culture statement, but more a statement of being well groomed. I have never had one, but wouldn’t be opposed to the idea.
@ Joel:
Your nails don’t really need to be of a certain length to enjoy a manicure. While they will certainly trim long nails for you, a majority of the process involves smoothing and polishing your existing nail, while also conditioning your cuticles. You should also have a pedicure, which in my opinion is much nicer than a manicure. A pedicure often involves a 5-20 minute foot soak in a small jacuzzi, and ends with a foot and calf massage. I like!
The pedicure is an awesome treat. And if you don’t have the cajones to rock the nail color thing on your fingernails, you can do it on your toes. Just don’t wear sandals and you can indulge yourself with this simple pleasure while still staying in the little beige colored box that society has so lovingly constructed and painted for you.
Oh ok, since nobody else has, I’ll take the troll bait. So, Jeremy, how do you make the giant leap from nail-painting to wanting to be a woman? I would even (vaguely) understand more if you said it was gay, but even most of the gay dudes I know that wear dresses don’t want to be a woman.
Way to live the stereotype.
Do us all a favor and go get the fist fucking that your repression cries out for.
first off, fuck you jeremy. that having been said, you should do an entry on how to quit biting fingernails. i wish i could quit, but no matter what i try, i just keep doing it. i’m capable of zoning out for HUGE chunks of time, especially at work, and i find that i’m always biting my nails when i’m not thinking about it.
I’d have to beg to differ, as a gay man who has no designs on being a woman at all.
The two concepts are completely disparate. Wanting to be a woman and, by extension, trying to be a woman, is usually called being Transsexual or transgendered.
Wearing womens’ clothes, doing makeup, nails, hair, etc. is known as being a Transvestite.
Truth is, most transvestites are STRAIGHT. Yup. Look it up.
By contrast, most gay men are looking for, and by extension acting like, regular men. If I wanted to be with someone who acted like a woman or wanted to be a woman, I’d be with an actual woman.
It used to be the territory of just women to have both ears pierced, now it’s pretty commonplace. I would say the same thing about something silly like painting your nails. It’s going to look strange if you paint them say, hot pink or purple or robin’s egg blue or something, just as it would look strange to wear a couple of feminine cameo earrings or diamond pendants. Pick masculine colors and don’t be afraid of it and you’ll do fine. You have to own whatever look you go for, if you’re timid about it you’ll get called out for being a poser. If you’re really unsure about it, paint your thumbnails first and see who notices. If nobody says anything then do the rest of your hands.
If they really want to market nail polish to guys they need to change the angle. The emo/goth kids are going to use it no matter what, just because that’s the point, they’re twisting gender roles to be subversive and edgy. To sell it to people who wouldn’t otherwise bother, especially to guys, you have to sell it with another purpose. Make it Fireproof enamel or Fungus repellant, or OSHA compliant or something like that. People would be picking that stuff up like mad. Make clear at first, but then start introducing colors. Brick red or black, or dark blue or slate grey.
To Jeremy: I don’t even know where to start. While you’re getting hung up on stereotypes and meaningless crap, the rest of us are evolving our ideas and moving past the bullshit that keeps minds small. I’m tattooed, I lift weights, I own guns and yeah, I paint my nails. I’m a man on my own terms, you should try it sometime.
Yeah your guys are probably right….I’m close minded. Just voicing my opinion and trying to be humorous. Thanks for your open minded response. Especially Kat….very insightful and helpful. I’ll go ask my boss now…..
I think it is a nice way of taking care of our toenails and fingernails. With nail painting, men will be more concerned with the appearance of their nails, thus creating an open view about cleanliness.
For the record, former middleweight UFC champion Chuck Liddell and his trainer John Hackleman BOTH wear black nailpolish on their toes. It’s not for me, and I don’t like it, but I’ll be damned if I’m calling either of them ghey for doing it.
I like the idea of men wearing nail polish because it makes the hands and feet look more presentable and clean.
I’m not a fan, it seems silly to me. But then again, I don’t like polish on myself either (i can FEEL IT ON! drives me nuts). It’s just not my thing. But you kids do whatever you like, doesn’t bother me any.
There. fixed it for you.
I don’t think it matters. If they are confident enough to wear it and show it to their friends, there is nothing wrong with that. Some won’t probably consider it a big deal..
You have all expressed some very interesting and well warranted concerns regarding the use of nail polish by heterosexual males. I am a representative of ManGlaze™ – The Original Matte Finish Nail Colour™. At ManGlaze Ink™ we’ve addressed concerns such as these by offering the following guarantee:
ManGlaze™ Original Matte Finish Nail Colour is 100% Guaranteed NOT to induce spontaneous Heterosexual Male Cock Fondness Syndrome (HMCFS), except in users who have previously expressed a fondness for the cock. Furthermore, thorough testing has proven no correlation between the use of ManGlaze™ Original Matte Finish Nail Colour and Unexpected Vaginal Occurrence Disorder (UVOD). During comparison studies, one tester, who was given traditional glossy nail polish, did develop a fresh new vagina on his elbow of all places. This tester hasn’t been heard from since.
Exclusions: ManGlaze™ Original Matte Finish Nail Colour does not warranty against any bruising about the face, neck, chest, abdomen and thigh regions that may occur to the user by means of fisticuffs or prolonged suction of the mouth against the skin (hickeys). Any associated bruising should be worn in pride, preferably, with a weathered coat of ManGlaze™ Nail Polish.
Guys, I recently began wearing nail polish on my toes in public by the fortune of an unplanned incident.
I noticed my sister wearing a brown frosted polish on her toes and I complimented her, saying that I really liked the color she was wearing. She thanked me for the compliment and then surprised me by saying that she thought the color might look good on me as well, and would I like my toenails painted. I said “sure, why not?” so she proceeded to treat me to a nice pedicure, complete with brown polish. I liked it enough that I decided to leave it on. When I get asked by someone why I wear polish on my toes, I simply tell them that my sister painted them for me, and I liked it, so I didn’t take it off. I’ve found that women who care to notice or say anything, accept it and most of them like it. Men that have commented seem to be neutral about it and accept the story as “something that just happened”.
Did I have a desire to wear nail polish before that? Not really. Am I into other forms of female expression (cross-dressing and such)? No. Is there anything wrong with wearing colors on your toenails? Nope! I actually enjoy it, and I don’t really have much concern for what kind of filters that others are using when they form their opinions because I can’t and never will be able to control that.
I can say that I will continue to wear nail polish on my toenails, but because of my position at the company where I work, I will probably not wear it on my fingernails. Besides that, I don’t really care to.
BTW, I like your your open-mindedness Sally and Wally.
Jake K, brilliantly stated!
Besides your work reasons, have you ever tried the polish on you hands? I first started wearing it on my toes (looked cool with flip flops at the beach) as well but ultimately I had to see what it looked like. The next thing you know I’m in the nail polish business.
Malepolish, I have actually experimented with polish on my fingernails, but without longer nails, it just does not seem to look right on me. In fact, when I see a female with short nails wearing polish, it still looks odd and almost male-like to me (my opinion anyway). Growing my nails or wearing extensions is not really an option for me unless I would be on vacation for an extended amount of time. That, and having to re-learn how to do things with long nails (and I’m pretty actively into sports and working on cars) and the need to be very careful that I don’t catch or break one would not be fun for me.
Now, on my feet, I have the option of exposing them or not, depending on who I’m around. And, since well-manicured (pedicured) feet do not require a change in lifestyle, it works! Besides, I still get the same feeling that I did when I first began wearing polish on my toes, that flash of excitement when you look down and see them shiny and colorful and ask yourself “wow, are those really mine?”.
It’s great liking who you are!
Well you gotta check my sh*t out anyway Jake. You’ll dig it. It ain’t shiny or colorful actually. It’s K L A S S Y!
Get in touch with me and I’ll let you know where you can try it.
http://www.manglaze.com or at http://www.myspace.com/manglaze
I was being treated for a nail fungus at one time. I buffed my nails so that the doc could take a good look at what was going on. He gave me the meds and it cleared up. One thing he told me that it was apparent that I took care of my feet. I thought about that for a while and I took it upon myself to paint them with a clear coat. Not many people noticed and it was cool. I thought about it some more then I painted them with a pearl white finish and I got more looks but no one really cared. I said what the hell, I painted them black and immediately people looked at me like I was some gothic gay guy and went about their business. Then I painted them a dark metallic blue, then I got the looks, they thought I was just a gay guy all together and they shook their heads….
If you think about it, you see men that have terrible feet and it should be a crime to wear sandals when their feet look like the have been through shit and back. Their toenails all black from grime in the corners and stuff. EEEEKKKKKK!!!!!! I didn’ have a problem because when I did this I was always with my wife. She is my moral support and didn’t mind it at all because my feet looked clean and trimed. That dosen’t make me gay.
Imagine, tattoos are permanent toenail polish is temporary, I’d go with the polish any day than get a tat that I cant change. Think about that why don’t you!
i love to paint my nails then go to adult news stands and get fuck by as many guys as possible
for best view right click then hit view image
Hello all!
well late 50’s and retired, just got the urge after seing all there hollowood stars and others upper class with elegent long hair and doing ther nails with pierce ears of course they have real natural diamonds, espessialy the sports stars.//////
so its been some time now but the ears are pierced and hair is shoulder length
and nails both toe and fingers with real dark polish./
some star some were astonished at first (ladies) but confessed totally different look and the style looked great on me like hot type……………………….and younger
have always kept good skin care and look about 15 years younger than my age.
Women have it all when it comes to wild coulers and hot cloths but they have th curves we don’t ////////
unisex would be great with me and I am straight its a fashion thing…….so now I have my hair cut at a salon and recently the stylist who is a makup artist suggested light eyebrow color to match but darken and trim the brow and try a light eye lash curl and coulor………………ok let her do it
amazing most women notice it and love it “uuummm you look real good”
know ing I am not gay but appreciate the inhancement and the time it takes to look good……………like they have to dol……………………….I can tell you this the younger the women the more flirts………old women stare but don’t comment its the age gap………..
any comments