RAW on Shit

From Robert Anton Wilson’s Prometheus Rising Schroedinger’s Cat, an excerpt I think might be useful to have in the back of your mind this week:

Since a great deal of primate behavior was considered just awful, most of the domesticated primates spent most of their time trying to conceal what they were doing.

Some of the primates got caught by other primates. All of the primates lived in dread of getting caught.

Those who got caught were called “no-good shits”.

The term no-good shit was a deep expression of primate psychology. For instance, one wild primate (a chimpanzee) taught sign language by two domesticated primates (scientists) spontaneously put together the signs for “shit” and “scientist” to describe a scientist she didn’t like. She was calling him shit-scientist. She also put together the signs for “shit” and “chimpanzee” for another chimpanzee she didn’t like. She was calling him shit-chimpanzee.

“You no-good shit,” domesticate primates often said to each other.

This metaphor was deep in primate psychology because primates mark their territories with excretions, and sometimes they threw excretions at each other when disputing over territories.

One primate wrote a long book describing in vivid detail how his political enemies should be punished. He imagined them in an enormous hole in the ground, with flames and smoke and rivers of shit. This primate was named Dante Alighieri.

Another primate wrote that every primate infant goes through a stage of being chiefly concerned with biosurvival, i.e. food, i.e. Mommie’s Titty. He called this the Oral Stage. He said the infant next went on to a stage of learning mammalian politics, i.e. recognizing the Father (alpha male) and his Authority and territorial demands. He called this, with an insight that few primates shared, the Anal Stage.

This primate was named Freud. He had taken his own nervous system apart and examined his component circuits by periodically altering its structure with neuro-chemicals.

Among the anal insults exchanged by domesticated primates when fighting for their space were: “Up your ass,” “Go shit in your hat,” “You’re full of shit,” “Take it and stick it where the moon doesn’t shine,” and many others.

One of the most admired alpha males in the Kingdom of the Franks was General Canbronne. General Canbronne won this adulation for the answer he once gave when asked to surrender at Waterloo.

“Merde,” was the answer General Canbronne gave.

When primates went to war or got violent in other ways, they always said they were about to “knock the shit” out of the enemy.

via Reason


1 Response to “RAW on Shit”

  1. 1 Eric the psy guy

    Joel:

    Rhesus macaques are dead on shots when it comes to hurling shit. I know as I have been on the receiving end of their pitches on several occasions. They have a tolerably good aim with piss as well. How do I know? I worked with monkeys for six years as a graduate student. Early on, I was told that they have a language with sixty distinct vocalizations. Trouble is, it’s a tonal language, and you have to get the tone just right to convey the right meaning. I of course immediately wished to become fluent in it. Seemed easier than learning Klingon. One day I went into the monkey room and hooted what I thought was the standard male greeting. Immediately, all of the primates stood up on all fours and presented their asses to me. At first I thought I had miscalculated. Maybe what these guys needed was a long weekend in Tijuana. Even the scientist was starting to look good! Digging through the literature, I discovered that I had not misspoke after all. Turns out that presenting one’s ass IS the customary (instinctive?) way a non-dominant male greets a dominant male. I took this as a high compliment. Probably the first and only time in my life I was greeted as the alpha male in any setting! What this has to do with scatology, I don’t know. But don’t mess with the primate Freud! Here we have direct evidence that monkey’s are also imprinted at the anal stage too. Little ass kissers!

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