Praise Ponies: Because The Precedent for Four Horses in the Bible Is So Positive
Published by Joel May 10th, 2007 in Tonic. Share This
And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse: and she that sat on him had a pretty pink bow; and a tiara was given unto her: and she went forth giggling, and to be awesome.
And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another horse that was lime green: and power was given to her that sat thereon to make all mean girls puke rainbows, and that they should scratch one another’s stupid eyes out: and there was given unto her a great candy cane with one end sucked down to be really sharp.
And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and saw a sort of mustard colored horse; and she that sat on him had a pair of scales in her hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of hamburgers for a penny, and three measures of Zima for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine, you big fat bitch.
And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale pink horse: and her name that sat on him was Avril, and Hell followed with her. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with punk rock ballad, and with anorexic hunger, and with Canadian whimsy, and with the beasts of the earth, which are also Canadians.
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there are no words :) Except maybe .. WTF!
Wow. I would kill to be that clever.
yea I know, hardly eloquent, my apologies but any time i see religious propaganda such as this deviously targeted at innocent, susceptible children, my brain locks up :)
… not a fan in case ya missed that..
J.
Sorry - that wasn’t directed at you. I was wishing outloud that i was clever enough to have come up with the idea ;)
Hey, at least they aren’t named “Chastity, Prudence, Grace and Harmony”
Just for CMA, no offense meant to anyone so besotten with such a label.
Funniest Dethroner post EVAR?!?!
Maybe.
You guys had a good day today. I laughed out loud a couple times scrolling through the main page. The barbecue post was pretty funny too.