Moms are dumb. At least the shrill caricatures of moms that I’m not quite sure ever actually existed, except when they were my buddy Mike’s hilarious Filipina mother Linda, who would chide his bad language with screams of “What the shit, Michael. Your mouth all the time!” Then she would cook us lumpia. God, I love you, Linda.
The Ririan Project isn’t a crappy jazz trio—it’s a blog that has collected and debunked “15 Warnings From Mom That You Needn’t Worry About.”
Warning #14: “Don’t cross your eyes. They’ll get stuck!”Truth: Intentionally crossing the eyes is never a cause of strabismus (crossed eyes); the eyes cannot get “stuck” in a crossed position.
There is at least one glaring omission: “Momma said knock you out.” Truth: Your mother is a nice lady who advised you to simply ignore bullies.
15 Warnings From Mom That You Needn’t Worry About [RirianProject.com]
Man, the lumpia rocks so hard. My mother in law (Filipino of course) makes that junk on special occasions only. My wife can make it now as well, but dude that stuff takes quite a while to make. But make enough to store a few bags in the freezer and you’ve got some serious good eats for late nights!
Warning #15: “Eat your carrots. It will improve your eyesight!”
My report tells me that this is actually *true*. In fact, British pilots from WWi were required to consume enormous amounts of carrots so that their night vision improved dramatically. as a side effect, their skin usually grew rather orange in color. No bullshit! I read it on the internet so it must be true!!!
Mmmm… Lumpia.
I’ll make sure she gets a big batch goin’ for when you are in town.