I think all my bad decisions have finally caught up with me and I should, I hope, see more substantial losses in the upcoming weeks. I actually weighed in a pound heavier this morning than last Friday—I’m going to assume that’s the tail end of the last few really stupid things I did. I mean, mashed potatoes? What the hell was I thinking!? I hardly even questioned it until they were already in there there, sitting like a cold, heavy stone in my gut. I actually felt like I should run to the bathroom and induce myself throw up, but after seeing the episode of A&E’s Intervention dealing with bulimia, I don’t think I ever want to vomit again, on purpose or otherwise.

It’s only marginally on-topic, but I would just like to say that bulimia is some crazy shit. I had no idea people went to that kind of extreme for weight control. I mean, I knew it, but I’d never pondered the details. Probably because the details are awful. I hesitate to even bring it up, but I’m already halfway there, so just imagine spending hours at a cheap buffet, eating until you quite literally can not ingest any more food. Then, put your digestive system in reverse and store the output in plastic zip top bags in your closet. That’s some serious shit that requires some serious treatment.

Anyway, that show made me wonder if I could maybe be a “half-bulimic”. I would do the binge, but not the purge. Turns out, that’s an eating disorder, too, and I can identify pretty easily with the list of symptoms. Think I will mention it to my doc next time I’m in to see her, just in case.

Date: 05-09-2007 (Days on program: 45)
Weight: 199 (Total lost: 28 pounds)
BMI: 30.3 (Category: Obese…still!)
Belly: 39″ (Started: 45″)