In honor of the release of Spider-Man 3, which is almost certain to be the worst in the series, 10 Zen Monkeys has assembled the “Ten Worst Spiderman Tie-Ins,” products so loathsomely commercial and banal you might just be compelled to purchase them. For example, the Spider-Man freight train:
What kid hasn’t dreamed of replacing fighting superheroes with drawings of them on the sides of a box car. Just imagine the thrilling battles when the Spider-Man boxcar fights the Green Goblin boxcar — to boxcar death.The real moral of this story is that Sony didn’t need to spend a quarter of a billion dollars making Spiderman 3. Kids would rather stay home playing with trains.
Ten Worst Spiderman Tie-Ins [10 Zen Monkeys]
First of all, I don’t know what the deal is with all the Spidey 3 hate. I just saw it and, while not perfect, it was still pretty darn awesome.
Second, no list of bad Spidey merchandise is complete without mention of some of the stupider toys: Spidey on a motorcycle, a Spidey car, a Spidey ATV, etc. And, of course, the fact that they shrunk the Spidey 3 figures down an inch from previous and comparable lines.
Just saw Spidey 3. It was a fun romp which took a few silly chances, and some of the action scenes were pretty hot. The visual effects were top notch, even if we’re oversaturated by them at this point. Alas, on the whole the movie was was also wildly uneven, parts of it felt like someone else was directing it. Set your expectations low and you won’t be too disappointed.
Side note: there’s simply never enough J. Jonah Jameson to appease me, he’s been my favorite part of each movie. J.K. Simmons is delightful.
My hope for #4: Dr. Conners finally becomes the Lizard, and they finally use Bruce Campbell as Kraven the Hunter.