15 Reasons Why David Bowie Is The Man
Published by Alex April 30th, 2007 in Great Men, Music. Share This
1. He just turned sixty and is finally looking human.
2. He saved Iggy Pop’s flagging career, only to destroy him in cartoon form some thirty years later on the Venture Brothers.
3. At various times in his career, he’s claimed to be gay, bisexual, or straight, and all the while your mom would probably still have done him. As straight as you might claim to be, you’d probably have done him too.
4. Given his voracious appetite for sex, depending on where she was and when, your mom may well have actually done him already. Even if your mom’s name is Mick Jagger.
5. He smoked two packs of cigarettes a day from the time he was 14 until about five years ago, and smoking makes you cool, though it may drive you to a sudden, tour-halting angioplasty, as it did for Bowie two years ago.
6. Name another celebrity who celebrated his 50th birthday at Madison Square Garden with celebrity-studded performances, inasmuch as one of said celebrities was that douche, Billy Corgan.
7. In 2003 Bowie was offered a knighthood by the British monarchy, and he declined.
8. Bowie as Pontius Pilate, Andy Warhol, and Nikola freaking Tesla more than make up for Bowie as Jareth the Goblin King, where his junk was just a little too well-outlined under his tights.
9. Bowie’s a New Yorker, which by definition means he’s cooler than 99.03% of the rest of the world.
10. He wrote his first US #1 hit, “Fame” with John Lennon (and Carlos Alomar) inside of about 12 hours during a freakishly heavy cocaine bender.
11. The greatest guitar solo of all time occurs at +3:15 into his 1997 album Earthling’s track, “Looking for Satellites, by guitar auteur, Reeves Gabrels. Yes, this is only my opinion, though I’m open to yours.
12. Somehow the whole world seems to think that he has heterochromia, but his eyes are actually both blue. Nevertheless, due to the one pupil that’s always dilated, stemming from a teenage fight with a pal of his over a girl, it always looks like he’s high on something.
13. By way of his publishing company 21 Publishing, he helped orchestrate an excellent hoax on the modern art world with the release of a book memorializing unknown painter, Nat Tate, who never actually existed. Until the veil was lifted, many otherwise laudable and pretentious art critics claimed to have known or heard of him.
14. 1969’s “Space Oddity” was used by the BBC when they covered the moon landing, Not many had heard of him before this, and it made him a star.
15. This video rules:
(images: nymag.com, wireimage.com)
43 Responses to “15 Reasons Why David Bowie Is The Man”
- 1 Trackback on May 1st, 2007 at 2:37 pm
- 2 Trackback on May 7th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
i was raised on bowie, ziggy stardust is my dads favorite album.
16. Best teeth ever
Wow, I never knew about #14, that’s incredible. I hope they play Life on Mars when we land there.
life on mars is the best song.
17. The “Life Aquatic Soundtrack” sounding so awesome covering his songs in Portugese.
I may take issue with #9, I think that this would have a detrimental effect on him :)
Has also gave Stevie Ray Vaughan his first wide exposure with the Let’s Dance stuff (even though he spelled his name wrong on the album cover — and faked his way through SRV’s solos in the videos).
18. Even though he’s one of the most famous people alive, he’s been known to bum a cigarette off of a stranger outside his building. And to still call it a fag.
I would still do him. So would my girlfriend. In fact, I would have done him when I was 13 and he was Jareth the Goblin King. I thought his junk was perfectly outlined, personally.
i’d do him also so you’re not strange, my girlfriend doesn’t know who he is, damn kids these days
new york my ass, the gent is from London.
If she’s never heard of db but she’s heard of Elton John, you need to find a new girlfriend!
the best guitar solo in recorded history is by neil honeyman-scott on the pretenders tatooed love boys.
This story just hit the front page of Reddit. Congratz Joel & Alex.
“7. In 2003 Bowie was offered a knighthood by the British monarchy, and he declined.”
Priceless.
i thought he was the best thing about labyrinth personally. :D
although i am a strict, practising hetro, yeah, he is a very handsome man.
99.9% of the worlds men would kill for his style.
“In 1997, Bowie was the first musician to sell bonds supported by future revenues generated from his record master and publishing rights. Coordinated by David Pullman of the Pullman Group, the sale of these asset-backed securities to private investors raised $55 million upfront for the British rocker. ” - Billboard.com
http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1896987
Seu Jorge covered his songs in portugues, actually they weren’t technically covers, as Jorge changed many of the lyrics. The instrumentals remained the same. Seu Jorge’s Supplemental album to the “The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou” was ranked #1 on the world pop music charts for some time as well.
breaking news, david bowie — not a virgin
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
Paul - A great guitar solo nomination to be sure, but I think the guy’s first name was James, not Neil.
all bow to bowie.
I would do his daughter if she was hot and at a proper age…
Reason 16, and continuation of 3, he is married to Iman:
http://areaofdesign.com/americanicons/avedon/iman.jpg
http://ladybunny.net/blog/uploaded_images/IMAN-769592.jpg
That is a pretty great solo by Gabrels, thanks for making me queue it up. I’m not into insisting on “greatest” items, but two favorite guitar solos that come to mind:
Nels Cline on Jeff Gauthier - “Mask” (MASK, 2001) at the 13:00+ mark
Bill Frisell on Robin Holcomb - “Waltz” (ROBIN HOLCOMB, 1990)
I don’t think there has been a recording artist in the last 30 years who better qualified for the title of “genius”. At least up until “Red Shoes”, when it all went so terribly, terribly wrong.
Does anyone else think that coke may have been a factor in this performance?
I prefer Bowie as an actor, I think…although I will say he is a great musician and a part of history & culture. I recently saw him in the Illusionist and loved his performance. Also, Labyrinth is an all-time favorite of mine…I’ll still watch it to this day and I’m 39. Happy belated birthday, David! A fan forever..
David Bowie is AWSOME!!
My favourite song is “Oh! You Pretty Things”!
Even though I’m only 15, he ROCKS!!
It says Bowie is a New Yorker?!?!?
He’s from BRIXTON one of the roughest parts of London.
get it right bloody hell
But yeah, he’s mint =)
No shit he’s FROM Brixton. But he’s now a NEW YORKER, by choice!
My favorite Bowie song remains his interpretation of Wild is the Wind. Damn sexy.
WTF?
okay
David Bowie is NOT the man
if any body was “the man”
pick someone with talent you retards
1.Dimebag Darrell
2.Eric Clapton
3.I’ll even settle for someone like Phil Collins
But David Bowie???
P.S. He looks like a frikken alien
“the best guitar solo in recorded history is by neil honeyman-scott on the pretenders tatooed love boys.”
Good call, Paul!
The only thing good about Bowie was that Aynsley Dunbar played in his band. Didn’t have too many great songs. However, he has survived many years in the music business so he’s better than most. But as for a guitar solo . . . try Sharleena off the “Shut up and play your guitar” CD. I believe it’s volume 3. Google it. Oh, Aynsley played for the person who does Sharleena.
Hey, if that’s what an actual normal person thinks, I kind of think that really lowers the bar.
Clapton I can see arguing for, even Dimebag Darrell, because nothing deifies a man like being taken out like a bitch and onstage, no less. But you’ve got to be kidding to throw Phil Collins in there.
Either that, or you’re crazy, stupid and utterly without taste. You calling anyone else a “retard” is flattery to actual retarded people. Time to take that cork out of your bunghole because you’re obviously full of shit.
P.S. David Bowie IS an alien.
Bowie is the man because he can say damn near anything and people will believe it. BTW, my vote for best guitar solo goes to Robert Fripp on “It’s No Game” (Scary Monsters).
“Rebel, Rebel” alone is enough to put him on the Cool list. (People are always forgetting about that one.)
best solo is eric clapton on a beatles song “while my guitar gently weeps”, and i’m not even a big fan of clapton
and how the hell doesn’t bowie completely exemplify the title of rock star.
Have none of you ever seen Bowie in “The man who fell to Earth”? Classic… Candy Clarke wasn’t bad either.. reinforced his alien rep…
David Bowie is the shite forev. I’d totally do him today as well as yesterday.
let’s dance is amazing… it went off in the funk tent at the bloom festival this year when dr. rubberfunk dropped it.
The Sexiest Man in the universe! He has beuty faults but that’s what is making him gorgeous! I’m ‘Loving the Alien’!! :D <3333
“The Man Who Fell To Earth” Rules by the way! :)