Freaky Trannies, Please Stop Giving Us A Bad Name
14 Comments Published by Alex April 27th, 2007 in Clothes, Sex, Tonic, events. Share ThisTo paraphrase Eddie Izzard, on behalf of all the executive transvestites, or in my case, even the associate transvestites, I humbly ask all the fucking weird ass transvestites to cut the shit out, please. You and your misguided shenanigans are messing it up for the rest of us. It happens all the time.
To wit, I reference yesterday’s incident in McMinnville, OR: We find a gentleman, nearly naked save but for a pair of high heels, on a bench in the basement of a mostly vacant medical building. No word on what he was doing, or why.
Did he lose a bet? Was he just getting some kicks? Was it the prelude (or aftermath) of some larger fantasy? We shall never know, because after he was discovered, miss thing got the cops called on his 40 to 50 year old lookin’ ass. Some wag called 911 and soon two McMinnville police units responded. And some deputies from the Yamhill County Sheriffs Office. And some of the Oregon State Police. They surrounded the building because, y’know insane people are dangerous, and one could clearly see man’s nuts. (I’ve been dying to make that joke, thank you!)
The weird tranny disappeared without a trace, last seen fleeing down a hallway, still only wearing the heels without even a wig to cover his short white hair or baldness.
While the ability to escape such a dramatic situation cannot fail to impress, it was still a negative reflection on an already maligned demographic. So some of us like getting all fetched up in women’s clothes. Big deal, and there’s no crime in taking it out of the house, either. However, doing things in a way that’s obviously going to creep out other people is less a reflection on the tranny part and more on the mentally unbalanced part.
The situation here would have been the same if the man was wearing combat boots. But would that reflect on the military? No. However, the fact that he only had heels on makes all transgendered people look bad.
OMG, px plz.
Of you, you sexy beast.
Alright Jay. Here ya go, but only because I love Supernegro.
Me n’ the Mrs. right after Elvis married us. (yes, I’m the one on the right.)
I’ll never understand how my lipstick got smeared all over my face, post-kiss, while yours remained perfect!
You’re the natural, but I’m the professional, my dear.
You, sir, are my new hero. Seriously.
When I started reading this I was sure you were going to go off on Alexis Arquette or the firefighteer found drunk in a park wearing a wig and woman’s string bikini. Why do all the weird freaks get all the attention while perfectly normal trannies go unnoticed?
Bitch! What are you trying to say?!??!
Oh my! I am so glad to see this take on it, it such a ‘mainstream’ publication.
To all you guys who have not tried ladies’ clothes — do it!
To all you guys who have tried the ladies’ clothes — do it more!
And get out in the streets in ‘em — even if it’s just a pair of ladies’ jeans, or a frilly top, or sandals with some sequins on them.
If we guys start incorporating female garments into our wardrobe, imagine the possibilities for expression of fashion freedom!
Thank you Alex, to the man I now call Sir!
I’m so confused. I thought Bon Jovi gave love a bad name?
holy christ, man, you are one sexy beast!
not to step on any toes, xtine.
damn damn damn.
-frankie
(yes, a girl)
Hate to disagree with you, YesYes, but I can’t really see most dudes trying this out, let alone making it work outside of the home. Most dudes don’t even know how to shop for/wear clothes meant for their own gender. Squeezing a typical American male into girls clothes and leaving him not looking (to say nothing of feeling) like a fool is a real trick.
If it gives a man a thrill to do it, by Jove, let him go for it. That said, while I applaud the nerve that it takes to take that kick into the public domain, it’s disconcerting how infrequently they’re actually pulling it off — I don’t mean passing as women, I mean not looking like a clueless and unbalanced individual, which, sadly, so many of these fellows do.
One of the stumbling blocks is the detrimental effects of age. It seems that when this particular bee is in a guy’s bonnet, most of the time it’s suppressed until he can’t hold it back any longer, and suddenly at 45, 50, or later, he decides he wants to be a woman or at least dress like one on occasion. It’s almost always a big ugly explosion of awkwardness. To those guys I say, try it out while you’re young, refine it, make your mistakes, learn from them. If it’s in you, quit holding it back and work through it. Might find out that it doesn’t take, and then you can go back to being a farty and hairy dude without regret. Don’t figure it out when you’re really too old to have fun with it.
Also, invite assistance to guide you through the awkward phase. While there are a few services available, like Miss Vera’s Finishing School, it’s cheaper (and arguably more progressive) to request guidance from a sister,
a best girl-friend, or even your mom, if she can roll with that. Seriously.
The best aid, of course, could come from your lover. Today’s wives may be more understanding than you’d think, though it can be shocking if she has had *no* idea of your interest before she married you. My friend Helen Boyd wrote a book about coming to terms with her spouse’s transgenderism, it’s called My Husband Betty. Brilliant, insightful read. Great book to prep them with.
Sir Alex, you’ve hit it right — the key is to look balanced, effective, pulled-all-together. This is the case whether you’re full macho, heading down to the tractor store in your camo gear or completely trying to look like a woman. The point is the same whether you’re wearing all guy gear or all girl’s clothes or anything between.
Age is irrelevant, as well. I’m 46 and the ladies jeans from Talbots fit me better than any guy-specific pair. They make me look like I’m wearing jeans that fit and that’s it.
I am not talking, at all, about transvestism but I would love to hear your take on why it’s a term applicable to men only. Why is it sexy for my wife to wear my boxers but deviant for me to wear something of hers? Why can Old Navy sell ‘boyfriend trousers’ for the ladies, but no ‘girlfriend _anything_’ for the guys?
I think we should all stop denying ourselves the pleasures of the infinite female wardrobe simply because of some label our tight-a**ed society places on it. Women did this long ago….
YesYes,
I think you may have missed the point a bit in regards to what I think Alex meant about age. When genetic females go through adolescence, it’s an awkward period in which we search for our identity, try on different types of fashion, learn how to use makeup, all with usually a few years of embarrassment and mistakes. Who likes to look back on their “look” from age 14, you know? It’s never pretty. When a man who has been denying or repressing his urge to cross-dress or express his transgenderedness finally gives in to it in, say, his 50s, he experiences something like an adolescence, but at a much older age. Older trannies making their first public forays without guidance don’t usually look balanced, effective, and all pulled together. If only they could have had their femme adolescence at a younger age, they would be more graceful women when they’re older.
I do, however, completely agree with you about the societal double standard. Why is it acceptable, or even sexy, for me to wear a man’s shirt, or just a T-shirt, jeans, and work boots or something? Why can girls go though a tom boy stage, but there is no equivalent feminine phase for boys to go through? Why can I go outside in men’s pants and not get a second look, but it’s taboo for you to wear a skirt outside? I don’t get it.
Also, Alex, let’s not forget Helen’s newest book, called She’s Not the Man I Married. Anyone interested in his subject should definitely check out both of her books.
As far as why it’s a one way street concerning clothes-swapping, I think a lot of it has to do with size and the cut of clothing. By and large, men are usually larger than their female counterparts, and the reason a girl I’m dating looks sexy wearing just one of my dress shirts is that it’s usually big enough to cover her like a very short dress would. If I were to wear some of her clothes, they’d pinch and squeeze and be completely ridiculous on me. The reason why “boyfriend trousers” work is because they’re a little bigger and look saggy and cute on a girlfriend. “Girlfriend clothes” would almost by definition be smaller and ill-fitted for a guy. Women’s clothing is much more form-fitting -even from someplace like Old Navy- and the forms they’re meant to fit to are not the typical form of most guys. Hell, most women’s clothes aren’t comfortable for most WOMEN, let alone larger and lumpier guys. And for guys who can and do want that kind of fit, much of the designer clothing out there is cut just like that now. Your average guy doesn’t spend more than $50 for a pair of jeans and probably less than that for a polo shirt. Guys wearing the $200 jeans and $100 t-shirts are already wearing women’s clothes, cut for the super-skinny and extremely fashion-conscious who want things to fit them just so. Your average guy wears clothing that’s utilitarian in nature, generally fits him but it certainly doesn’t have to be perfect, and if it looks good, bonus. He might go a little bit out of his way to get something that looks nice every once in a while, but $200 jeans are almost as much as he spends on an entire suit, and wearing uncomfortable clothes made for women just doesn’t fit into his budget, mindframe or scheme of thought…let alone his big ass fitting into women’s clothes.