Anyway, in my own relationship, my husband and I would never work if we would not have taken the time to get to know each other (thoroughly) before we got married. That is where so many couples go wrong…they get married too soon, not realizing that there are things about (him) that she is beginning to or bitterly hates! We took our time, actually a full 5 years, before we got married! That gave us both enough time to decide if we were compatible, or not.

It is ok to be firm in what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship. Neither one should EVER put up with any behavior out of the other that hurts them, just to be with that person. One of my big ones has always been that I will never live with or marry a heavy drinker, or a drug addict. What’s wrong with that? Nothing, and my husband is neither. BUT it took years of getting to know the real him to be convinced. Another big one was that I would never marry a man who insisted on or was too weak to refuse to have anything to do with strip clubs, hookers, and BACHELOR PARTIES! Now some of you will get defensive and say that is me controlling him, well, sorry, but you are wrong! He had 5 years to decide if that was what he wanted in his life, and he has never once chosen to “go there”. If, through dating him, as time went by, I learned that those were things that he liked in his life, and would most likely not change anytime soon (if ever), then I was, and am smart enough to know he would not have been the one I would want to marry.

I know all that is “easier said than done”, but it CAN be done! I have been with “him” for 14 years now, and I still KNOW I married my best friend. We do to and for each other as we want done to and for each other. Yeah, it sounds mushy and stupid to some, but it works. We have respect for each others feelings, and never think of only ourselves. We are a team, and we treat each other like just that. No we DO NOT have a dull sex life either. I seduce him regularly, I am “the other woman” frequently, and letting him lose his mind in the fantasy of cheating on me, without actually cheating on me, is a turn on to both of us! He is going to think about it anyway, we all do, so I might as well help him play it out the best I can. One of his favorites is when I play the role of two women. He says role playing is the thing he loves most. It may not be the same as actually cheating or as bringing a third person into our bedroom, but we both agree it is quite enough. I have never been with a woman, but I do wildly fantasize about it. I want to keep it that way too. If I were to act on that fantasy, the “fantasy” would be gone. Just like his fantasies, they would not be as desirable if we actually made them happen. Not to mention we would have the memory of the other ACTUALLY cheating, and that would be the beginning of the end of our marriage. So, keeping it between only me and him is what we both want. I never condemn him for fantasizing about other women when we are having sex, I encourage it! After 14 years we still more than satisfy each other! A man needs an active sex life, and married men need “creative” wives. Creative wives can greatly reduce the odds of their husband’s cheating. Some men are faithful:)

It wouldn’t be that way in my marriage if we hated things about each other. So, girls, if you can’t handle the thought of him around other nude women on any occasion, for any reason, that’s ok. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently! You are entitled to feel however you want, so is he. If he ever tells you that you are just going to have to live with it, make a descision, right then and there, that you will NOT marry him, ever! You will find a guy that cares more about you than things like that, but it isn’t easy! Guys like that, like mine, are hard to find!. Be picky! It will be worth your while, and save you many, many heartaches and tears, I promise you that! He should be the same way in his choice for a mate. I think the bottom line is so very simple…DO NOT EVER DECIDE TO MARRY SOMEONE IF THEY UNCARINGLY DO THINGS THAT PISS YOU OFF! Men, the same goes for you! DO NOT decide to marry her if she is a heartless bitch! Take your time, or you just might end up marrying your future enemy!

The point is, men think they can get away with things, and think their women will stay have a very low-key bachelorette party. Men only like the rules they create if they think/know that their women abide by stricter rules.

BP, you are clearly the exact type of man that all women should desperately avoid. If I ever heard/read that my bf said that it would no doubt be over.

Swear everyone to silence at the big one, and you can be sure that some tool will talk about the PG-13 activities. The bride-to-be will shake her finger and admonish the naughty groom while secretly being relieved that nothing bad happened. Needless to say, the wild stuff happens at the inner-circle party, and those guys CAN keep their mouths shut.

And the whole don’t ask/don’t tell code of silence thing NEVER works out. SOMEBODY talks. Depend upon it.

As for there not being pics on Flickr, I thought it was an unwritten rule that no cameras were allowed. There’s no point in getting away with something if there’s *evidence* of it. Jeesh!

As far as how far to go, that’s really up to the guy. He’s the one that has to live with it. But yes, in the handful of bachelor parties I’ve been to, there seems to be a definite lack of strippers and female nakedness happening….of course, one of my best men was in charge of the entertainment for mine and happened to get *ugly* ones, so who knows which way is better :-P

That said, I am totally in favor of strippers (as long as they can actually dance).

All B parties should have a nice set of rules, Fight Club style.