I don’t think the whole thing is necessary, he does. I find the whole thing a bit archaic and a silly tradition. I don’t plan on having a bachelorette. I think drinking out of a penis straw and wearing a silly veil has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever seen. I feel bad for those girls when I see them at bars.

He agreed to not have one, but then I felt like I was taking something important away from him.

Then we tried to compromise by saying, ok party, no strippers. But then I feel like his friends are going to be all pissed off about it.

I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place here.

Also the groom has told me the quality of the strippers in his hometown might not be very high.

Reading some of today’s posts, I see I have a lot more work to do to try and plan this event in a town I have never been.

Great topic!

I’ll never forget how it felt when I was overcome with happiness at how everyone turned out for this, and then looked around, wondering where one absent friend - who lived in the residence - was not there. I had barely uttered, “where’s Miss Susie?” (different Susie), when alla the sudden I was put in a chair and the lights were dimmed, and out she came, all dolled up like Christmas, and gave me a sweet, sexy striptease in front of everyone. Definitely PG-13, but being that she was a dear old friend (at whose bachelorette party *I* had actually danced some years prior!) it was all the more special and bedazzling.

The best bachelor party is one where your pals really come through and make you feel special and adored, and send you off to your wedding with all the support in the world; I’m sure that had they not liked my bride as much it may well have been a truly lurid and vulgar display, but this was classy and considerate of both her interests and mine.

I haven’t seen that tape in a long time, Kat. I hope it was recovered…

It’s all about plausible deniability. I gave my best man a list of guys I knew, and he did the rest - I just knew the date.

If you’re close enough with your friend to get him to throw your bachelor party, presumably you’re close enough that he knows your limits, and he’s friend enough to not stretch those limits TOO far.

But he should also be friend enough to stretch them a little…

At the end of the day, the people I already know are a thousand times more debauched than anybody we could hire. I’m counting on that still being the case by October.

Also, what Xtine says is very true. A lot of people plan these parties around humiliating their friend, or using it as an excuse to scratch their own kinky itches. I hate it when people force the person to do shit they don’t like. Whether it’s a veil and a penis straw, or being taken to a strip club on acid, where you are taken on stage and the strippers line up to tear your underwear off when you’re wearing a leather thong. That’s just not a nice thing to do to anybody.

I will be reading eagerly for tips and for ideas for what kind of party to throw.

Also, I have been told by the bride (and the groom) in no uncertain terms that there should be no strippers. Is that kosher? Can the bride dictate the party terms?