Fresh Meats: Bathroom Slaughterhouse Delivery
Published by Joel March 30th, 2007 in Food, Meat. Share This
As if we needed more proof that New York was the most delivery-friendly city in the world, today’s Thrillist uncovers a horrifyingly fantastic new service called, simply, “Fresh Meats.”
You choose an easy-to-smuggle, live delicacy (chicken, duck, squab, rabbit, even a snake or frog), and FM will lead it to your tub and do-what-must-be-done. Once it’s dead and bled out, they’ll work with the meat in less horrifying ways (cleaning the carcass, rending the cuts, stewing it in a delicate béchamel sauce, etc) until it’s ready for a glorious presentation.
The most frightening part of this concept is not that they’d kill an animal right before eating it—what better time, really?—but that they’d kill it in a bathroom, full of a frightening amount of microscopic living crud.
“Underground” would have to be the operative term with something like this. There’s no way the city would let it operate legally. I’d say I smell a rat, but they’d probably offer to fry it up.
Fresh Meats [Thrillist]
Not horrifying at all. When I was a kid my Dad used to clean squirrels (really only good for stew meat) and rabbits in the bathroom. Once, I watched my parents (whose amateur butchering skills were evident even to a seven year old) butcher a deer on the kitchen table. Of course, most of the messiest parts of the procedures took place outdoors.
How long before this is used for a revenge/breakup dinner?
“Honey, I can’t believe you made me this delicious meal after I slept with your brother. By the way, have you seen fluffy?”
Not to beat this one to death, but do you think they have Sea Otter?
Interesting, but most meats would benefit from some aging.
It’s a prank, guys. Remember Sunday is April 1st. http://www.gawker.com/news/thrillist/fresh-meats-a-hoax-thousands-of-sadistic-foodies-left-blood+hungry-248390.php
Shhhhhh!