Economical Fiction: Stories In Only Six Words
Published by Alex March 29th, 2007 in Uncategorized. Share ThisRecently, the UK-based site, Guardian Unlimited, which calls itself the “best daily newspaper on the world wide web”, held an interesting challenge based on Ernest Hemmingway’s assertion that his best work was only six words long: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” They invited contemporary authors to pony up with some extra-short fiction as well. Fun reading, and you never have to skip to the last page to find out what happens.
Perhaps the common man might have been invited to contribute some extra-short fiction as well, and by “common man”, I mean “you”, and by “contribute”, I mean “post here”.
Here’s my contribution with which to start you off:
Alex issued challenge; kazoo as prize.”
We’ll take submissions until midnight EST.
To cut a long story short [books.guardian.co.uk]
It rained, it poured; I’m wet.
She could have been my wife.
Blam! Whittington fell. Cheney reloaded, smirking.
Here comes a clown. He’s hungry.
Behold, the Goldfish, in Death’s Spiral.
The severed human ear looked lonely.
Autism: I want to kill God.
He sat down with the “bam” there.
“Whoops!” The crochet needle lay still.
abandoned by even the loyal; impeached.
I can’t identify this week’s theme.
Poison arrows fly an unpredictable path.
We’re getting deep and esoteric here.
Life was hard. Death was easy.
Where did I hide that alligator?
Hemingway. Would fail. Creative writing. One-0-One
I’m sad. She left. Let’s drink.
Recently, I found safety in alcohol.
Departed to find her. Returned alone.
She could only take two fingers.
It’s like writing haiku, only better.
Runner-up spelled “screwyouguysiamgoinghome” rather than “floccinaucinihilipilificatiousness”.
42
Losing creative spark… call Ted McGinley!
Will it launch? Yes, finally. Whew!
It was a dark and stormy.
IHOP hates dykes. No pancakes today.
Where’s my pet spider? Ouch. Thud.
I need to fart. Never mind.
Very Short Stories,
November 2007 WIRED magazine…
Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
- Eileen Gunn
Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood
His penis snapped off; he’s pregnant!
- Rudy Rucker
Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
- Steven Meretzky
Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
- Vernor Vinge
It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling
It’s behind you! Hurry before it
- Rockne S. O’Bannon
I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
- Stephen Baxter
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith
Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!”
- Paul Di Filippo
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
- Harry Harrison
Tick tock tick tock tick tick.
- Neal Stephenson
Three to Iraq. One came back.
- Graeme Gibson
There were only six words left.
- Gregory Maguire
more at http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/sixwords.html
November 2006, not 2007, so sorry.
Visit childhood home, find ex-wife there.
He drowned in the sunken train.
My own inspired translation of Celan’s original, describing a friend’s death en route to a Ukrainian KZ in World War II:
Er ist auf dem Transport im Fluß ertrunken. [He drowned on the transport in the river.]
Even after the apocalypse, mornings sucked.
You walked by. My pants expanded.
(It’s a love story.)
You! Spelled Guardian wrong up there!
Ireeamb.e Ycm o,cyjd.e t.fxrape yr ekrpat!
I impregnated my girlfriend. Shotgun wedding.
Leo ruined all of the fun.
That was dvorak, for “Goddamned Tim switched keyboard to dvorak!” for those who were wondering.
On that note, the winner is… BG, with “Losing creative spark… call Ted McGinley!”
Congrats, sir. You will be contacted for your coordinates shortly.
Stomp it to my beat you.
This song is just 6 words long.
i’ve always wanted to switch to dvorak, which format did you use.
Well, I really don’t know, actually.
Goddamned Tim switched it on the Mac.
Barely got it back to normal.
How many kinds of dvorak exist?
I hear dvorak’s better (say geeks).
Why would you want to switch?
McJob: Start low, Stay at Bottom
My attempts from the Metafilter thread a while back:
The sin? Goo. Larry, it y…
Meat deprecated. All hail new flesh!
Bombs fall, AI launch: cleansing fire.
Cockroach cluster, anthrax ripple. Mideast war!
Christ returns. “What?! Tack him up!”
Pluto unplanet? Sentient iceball devours Earth!
Hero journeys, returns. Lessons are learned.
“You ain’t from here, are ya?”
“My balls!” shouted the president. “Balls!”
Ignorance strength, war peace: Miller time!
Eschaton immanentized, gods materialize, fan beshitted.
Pausing midstroke, he noticed the sirens.
Love lost, subsequently found. (Needs padding.)
War hell, civilian boredom. Clock tower!
Peak oil, long pork. American century.
Brain surgery, home kit, big mistake.
Pausing midstroke, he noticed the sirens.
Stavros FTW!!!!
Space: final frontier. Then kill bitch.
http://www.klippert.com/tcc/blog/pics/Dvorak.jpg
theres three right there
qwerty was designed to be inefficient so that typewriters would not get jammed
dvorak is trying to be as efficient as possible
Twitter? It lived. Briefly.
(Brevity!)
I am awarding myself second place in this contest. I really like mine best, but the winner made me smile.
1. Dropped my Coldplay tape; Bowie saw.
2. They wouldn’t understand, those with continence.
Thank God my ancestors left Britain :-)
(Don’t get nose out of joint);
I wouldn’t have any other ethnicity.