My Hymen Belongs To Daddy: Purity Balls
Published by Alex March 26th, 2007 in Family, Milestones. Share This
I’ll fess up right off the bat that when I first heard of “purity balls,” I thought it referred to some ridiculous notion that today’s boys might be having about not beating off. Of course, how absurd, nothing short of a pair of handcuffs and a gaffe could stop that.
In actuality, purity balls are close but no cigar, and that’s most definitely a bad pun in light of what the festive ceremonies are about. They’re the creation of Colorado Springs’ clergyman Randy Wilson and his wife, Lisa, who run the Generations of Light ministry. The idea is a formal, high dress debutante-style gala, very much like a coming-out party of old, where a proud father squires his daughter about in a coming-of-age public event. The original model is basically a function whereby a daughter of the hoi polloi is officially made available for marriage to another family of similar stature. This is where the two ideas part ways: The purity balls are not about a proud father releasing his daughter to the world, but about him clenching his grip on her virginity until her marriage.
The idea is sweet, even noble, but creepy nonetheless. I can see the notion of a father wanting to protect his daughter from the horny advances of every guy in the area who wants a crack at her chaste virgin business, particularly in this age of rampant venereal disease and incurable viruses. There’s nothing wrong with that, and surely at one time most of these fathers were lusty young men themselves, they know what’s in store for their little princesses.
They formalize this protective urge with a parade under arches of swords (what the hell does that symbolize?), often with a gifting of promise rings and oaths of guardianship and chastity sworn to each other as part of the ceremony. All happening under the careful watching eyes of the family and the community at large…I don’t know. It just feels strange to me. Well-intentioned, but impractical and even a bit naïve. And yeah, there’s that creepy undercurrent of control and forced obedience that just rubs me the wrong way.
The purity balls are in their seventh year, and perhaps soon we’ll learn how successful they are in their ambition. Will they indeed help preserve the virginity of the budding young flowers until marriage as is the intention, or will they prove to add heat to the inevitable fire of rebellion that all children undergo en route to adulthood?
Parker: Purity balls: A little weird, but then again, not really [sltrib.com]
Image credit: Braveheart.org
and yet, the vast majority of the girls will have broken this sacred promise by age 20.
Try 16. Call me immature but the word purity next to the word balls makes me laugh.
Another article on the matter: No Sex Please, We’re Daddy’s Little Girls
Yeaaaaah. As much as I get a father wanting to protect his daughter from the thousands of naer-do-wells that are…well, US… that’s some creepy shit. Your article title didn’t help :)
I think Bruce Willis said it best when asked about how he was coping with his daughters advancing into dating age.
“I’m hoping that if I kill the first one, the rest will stop coming.”
Having an entire society event focused around this issues is not only creepy its ironic. The easiest way to assure that a child will do something is to shine a real big spotlight on it and then tell them its forbidden. Does anyone remember the garden of Eden?
Here I was thinking “purity balls” were a completely different thing. Made of metal perhaps….
NPR did a story on these things (not specifically “purity balls”, but some other “abstinence ’til marriage” pledge to your parents program) a year or more ago. A study done at the time showed that it had no affect what so ever.
purity pledge= ‘technical virginity’ all anal all the time
I don’t think hoi polloi means what you think it means. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoi_polloi
Bob: Thanks to people like you I’m forced to reconcile with the inescapable fact that I’ve been making a total asshole of myself for years. Thank you!
As a father of three young girls, I honestly hate the thought of Hormone Harry coming to visit a decade from now.
That said, if I tried to shackle them up and force them to wear a chastity belt (as this seems to be one step removed from) it’s just going to make everyone miserable and painfully confused in their approach to a healthy perspective on sex. Our society is screwed up enough on this topic, I don’t want to make it worse one kid at a time.
My approach (which will likely change depending on how much I hate their boyfriends) will be to talk to them openly about the good and bad of an active sex life and the risks involved, make sure they avoid dangerous situations, and know that they can talk and rely on their parents no matter what — and no secrets need to exist. Combine that with the slow pawn’s march of giving them bits of responsibility to give them the chance to earn trust I believe they’ll do the right thing and take things at a safe pace that’s comfortable to them.
But if some guy tries to bang them under my roof, I’ll murderize him.
Oh, and the best line I ever heard to use on a new suitor for your little girl? Lean in close to the bastard and whisper: “I’m not afraid to go back to prison.”