I’ve eaten some strange things in my day. Hell, last week Joel and I ate chicken knees, and thems was good eating, too. We tried organ meats as well—delicious! I’ve eaten elk and snake and ostrich and even a few insects. I think my pallet is pretty open to new and exotic delicacies.
But, unlike the hundreds that recenty turned up at the 16th annual Mountain Oyster Fry, I totally draw the line before eating sheep’s testicles. I don’t care how they’re prepared. You could skewer them and roast them over mesquite, drown them in hot sauce, sprinkle them with crack. I don’t care, nothin’ doin’. Not a chance.
The very idea makes my nuts ache and my gorge riseth within me. Strangely, I kind of feel like this makes me a wuss—a notion I accept in this case—but I’m wondering if any of our readers actually would eat them. Who’s man enough out there to say that you’d eat balls?
Hundreds Line Up for Sheep Testicles [hosted.ap.org]
I’ll do you one better: not only have I eaten testicles, I’ve eaten testicles I cut off myself. An explosion of flavor!
They were from hogs, though, not sheep. Does that count?
WUSS!
I’m man enough! Of course I say this now that i’ve gone vegetarian for a month. But after this is over, I’m down. I guess it’s sort of unfair to say this though. Being a lady who is into men, i’ve had balls in my mouth before. Sort of an unfair advantage.
Joel—Not only does that count but that counts bonus plus; They were balls, they were hand-gathered balls, and they were PIG BALLS. You are three times the sick fuck that I thought you were. Congrats on the triple lindy, my friend!
Susie—I don’t know if I respect you less or more alla sudden. I mean, it’s not like *I’ve* ever had balls in my mouth before…er…um…h’mm.
I had them in Mexico City. I didn’t recognize the word in Spanish, and I asked the lady I was with. She didn’t know, either. But, a new experience is a new experience.
The taste and texture were closest to tongue. Everyone, not just the ladies, have had tongue in their mouths, yes? Maybe more than one ?
Could you give us testicle devouring novices an idea as to the texture or consistency that would be encountered when eating these “oysters”. By the way, love the “explosion of flavor”.
I ate bulls’ balls in Spain while I was there. Lightly battered, fried and sliced. T-tothe-A-S-T-Y (ferg, thanks for the spelling lesson).
Needless to say, my virility was greatly increased. Now those people eating elk shlong on Fear Factor, that shit is gross. Thank allah for Chappel’s skit on that one!
JOEL EATS BALLS!
["... Ate My Balls" joke]
I had some at Stockfeeders Club in Morrill, NE (best ribeye of my life) with my wife’s family. The testicles they served there were indistinguishable from any other small fried meats like clams and such.
I’d love to say after the meal I ripped a bumper off a pickup truck such was my infusion of virility but mostly I was bloated and slept on the moonlit ride back into Wyoming.
I might if they were sliced and fried or something. There’s no way I could just put a giant ball in my mouth like the ones in the picture.
alex, is there something you need to tell us?
twice, once in after a night of drinking that can only be described as “heroic” in Murry, ID and once in Prosper, TX at a crawfish boil and yes I was drunk then as well.
Both times they were sliced, battered and deep fried.
They tasted kind of like that popcorn chicken stuff…
which is why I don’t eat popcorn chicken.
In South Missouri, “Mountain Oysters” are not that uncommon. I had the tasty fried delicacies at youthful farm parties. The first time, they didn’t tell me what they were until after I’d eaten them…but even then, I didn’t realize I was supposed to be grossed out…it was the seventies for goodness sake…I will admit I probably giggled.
This reader thinks mountain oysters are great. I grew up on the bare backside of Kansas and out there anything goes. Anything includes: sheep, cattle, pig and turkey nuts. Nut fry’s usually end up being fairly big events/partys for the local rednecks.
On that same note:
Calf nuts stick to anything. My uncle usually did the cutting while the rest of us prepped and held the calves. If you didn’t pay attention to the several hundred pound animal you were pinning to the ground AND the smart@#$ with the knife, you were libel to end up with a testie stuck on your back or worse.
Great site by the way.
I’ve eaten prairie oysters off and on throughout my life. Most of my extended family is from rural Kansas and a “bull fry” is a great get together for family. The texture is somewhere between popcorn chicken and fried mushrooms. As far as flavor goes…they don’t taste any different than any other fried bar food (face it most fried bar food tastes the same)….and if you don’t like the flavor, you can always dip them in ketchup.
At first I was shocked at how large the oysters in the picture were. “That must have been some sheep,” I thought to myself (with a slight twinge of envy).
But, then I realized that the photograph is actually of bulls balls.
Sigh of relief.
Second the tastes like popcorn chicken comment. Goes great with beer so I don’t mind prairie oysters, chicken hearts though, yuck.