Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day, which for all I care can go shit itself, just like everything else Irish ends up doing. Leprechauns aren’t any cuter than any other gnarled Emerald Islander, serving as metaphor for the Irish propensity for gaining vast quantities of wealth by stealing it from tiny cripples. Their beer is like their women: effervescent and silly at first, but quickly turning dark and sour. Their whiskey passes muster—because they stole the recipe from the Scots.
Green is the color of Ireland, because its people are all too drunk to turn up its fields. They were defeated by a potato that gave them a ten year head start. Their most famous novelist wrote in gibberish and their best poetry was lamentation about how much it sucked to be Irish. They’re such sluggards their civil war was put to rest by Bono.
But you know my favorite thing about the Irish? They’re the only nationality it’s still okay to mock in public. Get over here, you dumb cocks! The only day better for drinking than St. Patrick’s is St. Patrick’s Day Eve.
(Also, corned beef and cabbage is saintly grub. Good job there.)
All that and how about you go fuck youself?
I’m getting drunk and listening to bagpipes like everyone else that claims to be irish on this great day.
Grab a potato and a beer and celebrate the less sober times in life for fuck’s sake.
Yeah, McFuck off, already!
Like any self respecting Puerto Rican/Italian with an Irish last name, I’ll be spending my St Paddy’s far away from my local pub. Rather than dealing with a bunch of dumbass college kids who think it’s cool to drink Guinness one day a year, I’ll be down in hickville at the drive-in, grillin’ and drinking warm Bud Light.
….and you’re a twat. And i’m unsubscribing, you racist bollocks.
I’d say you’re in for a shitstorm, but let’s face it — most Irishmen can’t sit in front of a keyboard long enough to pen a reply.
But man, if you took calls, or provided an address for them to vomit on, you’d be in for it, mister.
Irish is a race!?
Whichever race it was they didn’t come in 1st.
I suppose you prefer one of those pansy holidays, like Easter, and gorge yourself on chocolate instead of beer? Maybe Thanksgiving, where turkey and a nice wine replaces bangers and mash and Guinness? Or New Years, where champagne passes as the libation of choice? Christmas perhaps, where you have to drink just to obliterate the memory of all the onerous shopping and sedate socialization you have to sit through?
Fuck that noise. St. Patty’s for me.
You people have no sense of humor. Lighten up, have a beer!
IRISH LERN 2 READ. Also, let’s drink! I’m on my second beer and I already feel like I’m behind.
HARRR! My irish blood will be in its, natural well-diluted state this Saturday, and I’ll have great fun watching/messing with all the sad puds who only drinkup on the 17th and on Happy Super Bowl day. Fuckin amateurs, Make a hole!
And leave your goddamn cars at home.
One good thing about SPD is that you are guaranteed to get laid. Just find the fat girl who isn’t chatting up a mustachioed fireman and you are gold.
HEY! I’m Irish (appearently at some point).. and I take offense to your post.. and to that guy at the end of the bar talkin about irish not being able to sit at the keyboard long enough to … fuck it, I’m getting a beer…..english bastards…….wheres my hat!
i’m actually from ireland , and living here right at the moment . im not some dumbass yank claimning to be 1/4 irish or “my great great gran dad was irish” any1 can see that this was over the top. and the picture …. i’d like to see you put up a picture discrimnating black people, muslims etc. the ” civil war “put to rest by bono , are you an idiot , we hate him as much as you and he has nothing to do with northern ireland affairs. and whoever it was saying us irish cant sit down to reply , its because we have more interesting things to do with our lifes instead of sitting wasting away in our fat (its easy to sterotype aint it ?)
America of all places made of so much culture and can be so bigoted. you make fun of our history (famine) yet , your a war hungry country with a history of slavery and racism. if any nation should be embarrassed …
it was a joke that was too much , grow up !
and i have my money down that you’ll be out for a drink on paddy’s ;)
… scumbag
Ah, if only you fucking Irish cunts would sell your Paddy’s whiskey stateside, maybe I wouldn’t hate you so much.
What’s with all the Irish defensive posturing anyway? Surely a nation full of smart-asses liek that can take a few pokes to the rib, I’d like to think. Cripes! Maybe they get all posessive about St. Patrick’s Day or something. You know, for such a maligned people, they do have the only international holiday where everyone gets to *be* them.
That’s it, I’m officially starting “St. Fuckface’s Day”: on July 17th every year, everyone gets to be Alex Colby. Instead of getting piss drunk on green beer you’ll dress in bad drag, drop some acid, and jack off to midget porn. At work, even!
Too many people tend to get sand in their vaginas around here over the slightest little thing (hating babies for example.) I’m Irish, my passport even says so and found this to be funny and far less offensive than things I say to my own family. At least we’re not Scottish the last time they fought for something was 1000 years ago and they had to make a fucking movie about it…pathetic.
Posted by Joel? Joel? Gee wonder what the nationality of that name is eh? Joel?… Hmmm….
Screw you Joel boy!!, tell me where you live so I can cut your friggin eye’s out!!!
I’ll be drinking at home like any good Irishman does on St. Paddy’s day…
Hell, I’m a Joel with full Irish (and also full Norwegian) roots. Now someone hand me a beer before I call my Norwegian family and burn yer damned Internets to the ground and steal your women.
I’ll be in Philly at a commercialized “Irish” restaraunt pub seeing a band of Yanks who mutiliate Gaelic and Scottish traditional music while spilling Guinness and making fun of the people in skirts.
*sighs* I love Barleyjuice. Frickin’ AWESOME pub band!
I guess I totally misunderstood Joel’s post, I thought he was making satire, but from the responses is seems that he was genuinely making disparaging remarks about the Irish. Seems like some people are a little too tightly puckered, y’all need to have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Either that or go home and cry in your ale. Sheesh.
Are any of you people who are bitching actually Irish, or are you American with Irish last names?
“At least we’re not Scottish the last time they fought for something was 1000 years ago and they had to make a fucking movie about it…pathetic.”
No. A drunk [catholic] Aussie had to make an historically inaccurate movie about it. Additionally, I feel compelled to admit that ’sugartits’ is my new favorite word.
Randy, that proves that they are so ineffectual and servile that the can’t be bothered to make their own film about their ‘proud’ history. Sad.
Yer a Fickin cunt! If it weren’t for beer the Irish would rule the world. Up yours! :)
[vociferous umbrage in response to satire]
As Damian Melaugh said! FECK OFF The American Irish came here for fortune and were treated worse than the free’d Slaves. My Family had to change their name to get a damn job. The Irish in America Started celebrating St. Patricks day to honor their homeland and bring pride to their people. I am proud of my Irish Heritage, Someone should punch this guy in the NECK!
Joel, you had it wrong. I guess it is not okay to mock the Irish in public. The only group that, by and large, does is okay to mock in public are the Polish.
Remember, St. Joseph’s day is tomorrow (March 19)…that is the big Polish festival in response to St. Patrick’s day. I went to a Catholic grade school that was about half Irish and half Polish (descent). One day, half the people would wear green and beat the ever living shit out of anyone not wearing green. A few days later, us Poles would wear red, and get the ever living shit beat out of us again. Ahh, good times. Good times.
What’s my point? The Poles are confident and can take a joke. The Irish are neither.
The Paddies run Americay . Yeeeh Haa