Ever wanted to know what it’s like to jerk off an elephant? Who hasn’t!? This article in England’s finest paper, the Sun, gives us a milky glimpse into the life of a jumbo pumper:

“One guy I know got a black eye from being hit by an elephant’s penis.” … “It’s a messy business as he massages Jackson’s prostate gland to produce 300ml of semen per orgasm – the equivalent of a can of Coke” … “viewers will meet killer whale Shamu who is only too happy to provide sperm samples in the name of science when his trainer shows him a special collection bag.”

A jumbo tusk for scientists [TheSun.co.uk via MeFi]