Comments on: Notes for the Semi-Irresponsible Father

By: Rye

Rye — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 21:26:25 +0000

Leashing adults is an entirely different, and sometimes chillingly deviant topic all-together. For me it falls into the “different strokes for different folks” category, but in the vein of Austin Powers, thats just not my bag baby.

By: Havoc

Havoc — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 21:25:52 +0000

I laughed my butt off at the mom in the mall yesterday with her kid on a leash. Especially after the little bugger crawled into the middle of a clothes rack, executed a beautiful Houdini, reattached his leash to the bar holding up the whole rack, and then set off for parts unknown. Mom was oblivious until she tried to move on and yanked down the whole rack. Funniest thing I’ve seen in forever. PS. I returned the kid to his severely distraught mother after congratulations and high fives.

By: bridgitte

bridgitte — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 20:37:20 +0000

I don’t know, man. I’ve been known run into the street, and i’m a grown up…

By: Rye

Rye — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 19:17:03 +0000

I would like to take this opportunity to briefly rant on the subject of child leashes. For the love of all that is holy in this world, please do not put a leash on your child.
Nothing says, I’m incapable of keeping track of my child in a public setting and apparently have a shorter attention span than a toddler with anterograde amnesia, like a vapid parent trailing after their child with a length of irridescent plastic adhereing the two together. Its like watching someone being steered by a drunk midget.
Ostensibly, you are smarter than your child as their brain has yet to fully form.
*a side note, this intelligence gap should continue until your rapidly burgeoning offspring is just old enough to vote and fire an assault rifle*
This vast superiority in intelligence should allow you to think to yourself “Self, I have HANDS, these hands might be able to hold onto a child, I don’t have to shackle my child to me like nuclear launch codes, I’M FREE!!!!”
And honestly, can you think of anything more awkward than your son coming home one winter break from college with his new girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter, flush with excitement of new love. Your wife hoists out the photo album and there you are, captured in digital memory forever, standing helplessly beside your angelically innocent child who is laughing and pointing at the elderly couple that he tangled in his leash and sent crashing to the floor of your local mall, breaking his hip and her collarbone, the lawsuit was so uncool. C’mon, no one wants that freakshow.
This has been a public service announcement.