Dapper or Crapper: Ian’s Wedding Suit & Tie
19 Comments Published by Alex March 2nd, 2007 in Clothes. Share This
Ian N. writes:
I’m an avid reader and need some help. The spot: Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico. The occasion: my wedding. The idea: to have a relaxed yet neat wedding suit with tie. The problem: the tan linen suits are too pressed, too neat. I found a distressed cotton suit from J Crew but I ordered the wrong size and now they are sold out.I just went the way of Hugo Boss Tan linen suit, white shirt, and for the beachy style, a Seersucker tie. I am not sure if this will all work but attached is the over all look. (Without my face posted on the intertrons of course.) [Wuss! - Ed.] I am wearing sandals with this so that is also a concern. How beachy is too beachy and how weddingish is too wedding? The idea is to be an appropriate groom yet still be relaxed on a beach.
Joel: First of all, I totally dig that tie. (I’m generally a’flutter for seersucker.) It’s classy without being uptight. It can’t help it; that is the seersucker way.
I even like the suit, but I’m not sure if it’s light enough for the beach. Surf and sand pretty much dictate light-colored linen, despite your fears. You’re already going to be having your wedding on the beach—don’t worry about trying to class it up now! (Not that there’s anything wrong with a wedding on a beach, mind you, but it does imply a certain willful ignorance of convention.)
I always seem to be easier on Dapper or Crapper victims than the commenters, but I think you’d do just fine in this. The color is darker than optimal, but whatever. I’m conflicted on the lack of belt. In some ways it’s the “beachy” look you’re going for, but it might screw up the way your pants hang, especially when you get them covered with water and your own voided bowels after you realize what you’ve done.
Alex: Okay. Okay. Hold it a second. It’s a thoroughly decent suit, perfect for attending a wedding, but to get married in it seems to me to be a waste of a perfectly reasonable opportunity to jazz things up a bit, or even a lot. This suit makes me fall asleep with my nose in the soup bowl. And, sorry Joel, but I sincerely hate that tie. We’re otherwise on the same page with seersucker, but please, save it for the suit!
Look, I’m all about bucking wedding traditions…I got married in hard core drag. For the most part, though, weddings are a tedious chore for nearly everyone involved. Everyone hates weddings, and it’s usually all about trying to make the bride happy anyway. You’ve taken things one gigantic step forward already by going to an exotic, intoxicatingly beautiful locale (I looked up some pictures – nice choice!), so no doubt your attendees will already actually enjoy themselves. But now you torpedo the moment with a darkish tan suit which, though perfectly acceptable for attending sunday services, has nothing whatsoever exceptional about it. You might as well go sell used cars in Mobile, Alabama in that thing.
Now there’s the matter of pairing the suit with sandals. My man, I just don’t know what to say. If you’re capable of making that kind of choice, there may be no hope for you. You might as well ditch the tie and replace the white shirt with a snappy Hawaiian pattern. In fact, that actually might work better, and then you don’t even need a belt (though I’m pretty sure you were going to add one anyway).
I say, claim this day as your own. Be bold. Wear a white or off-white unconstructed linen suit—you’re the only one of the party who can not only get away with it but even make that shit sing. I’m taking a page from the sandals idea here; if you’re going that kind of casual, don’t fuck around. Wear a nice loose shirt underneath, at least the three top buttons undone. You’re on the beach in the tropics, for hell’s sake. This is the one time you can actually pull off some of the shit from the International Male catalog…but by god, if you go that route, please see us first. That sucker’s a minefield of bad ideas for the most part and we really don’t want to see you getting married looking like a doucheflake.
19 Responses to “Dapper or Crapper: Ian’s Wedding Suit & Tie”
- 1 Trackback on Mar 5th, 2007 at 3:24 am
To salvage what you’ve got I’d say toss everything from the waist up and match up a nice white, linen barong or guayabera. Be sure you run a belt through those trousers — if you have belt loops you must have a belt.
It’s hard to tell without seeing your face. Are you a redhead? Really dark brown or black hair? Pale eyes? Brown eyes? Flushed cheeks? Fat? Skinny? Hairless?
Any of those would make a difference if how the suit looks on you.
Also, after looking at the IM catalog (do not do this), I’m convinced you should wear this to your wedding: http://www.internationalmale.com/HanoverAssets/intmale/large_images/J619zz.jpg
I have to side with Joel on this, DAPPER I say! The suit is a bit too dark, as he said, but not so much that it will look wrong, and while I generally hate all things seersucker, I dig this tie a lot. Something else that I think is important that the guys overlooked is that it depends what the bride is going to be wearing. If she’s going with something more traditional, I think this is spot-on. If her dress is less conservative (ie. not white, short length, etc.) then you may need to loosen this up, lose the tie, and untuck the shirt. I think Hawaiian shirts are fun for the summertime/beach (and Hawaiian shirt Fridays, of course), and they’d probably be a great choice for your groomsmen, but I don’t think it’s the route for you to take, especially going by what you’ve picked here. You seem like the kind of dude more likely to err on the side of conservative dress rather than crazy patterns and colors, and I see no reason why you should fight that.
I’m with Joel too, Dapper. However, I’d add a belt and unless you are actually in sand for the wedding, I wouldn’t go with the sandals.
Conversely, I don’t agree with most of Alex’s comments other than that the location is nice, ditch the sandals, and you have to make the bride happy. Of course, he did admit that he got “married in hard core drag.” So we’re clearly of different schools of thought.
First, the wedding is not the place for the groom to “jazz things up a bit” via the outfit. Make a jackass of yourself dancing, but generally, the wedding is the bride’s day. Whatever egomania the groom suffers from, he needs to forget it on her special day. He shouldn’t be there trying to attract attention to himself. He should be there trying to make the bride happy.
“But now you torpedo the moment [exotic location for a wedding] with a darkish tan suit which, though perfectly acceptable for attending sunday services, has nothing whatsoever exceptional about it.”
This doesn’t even seem to make any sense. I think making an “exceptional” spectacle of himself, for example dressing in drag, would have a greater chance of torpedoing the day. I don’t understand how being somewhat reserved would detract from the event. The moment is established by elements that have very little to do with his outfit.
“You might as well go sell used cars in Mobile, Alabama in that thing.”
?????
“I say, claim this day as your own. Be bold.”
No. Don’t. Unless you are quite sure your bride-to-be is a big fan of your boldness.
The answer to the problem of the sandals is not to use it as the touchstone for the outfit, but simply to not wear sandals.
You know, he’s going to be on the beach. Go barefoot!
As a soon to be married man, unwittingly carried away in all things “wedding”, ($5 to rent a seat cover? you mean the covers that go on the seats? extra if i want a bow?…really? $5 American?…seriously- really? hey fuck it, man- let’s do it!).
Right. What I mean to say is, she loves you. It’s mostly her day but it’s your day too. ESPECIALLY at the reception. You want to make this special for all involved, but you don’t want to sell out your individuality- you know, what makes you YOU.
I think the suit is fine. If you really want to set the stage for your upcoming eternity of joy and bliss and respect and understanding and being yelled at- then dress to impress in a flannel suit.
then light yourself on fire and jump over the church on a harley with a bottle of scotch in your lap with an electric guitar in your hands screaming FREEBIRD!!!
also, invite me to your wedding because i really wanna see that shit.
best,
CHRIS!
Suit on a beach – way too much. I like Alex’s idea, but maybe go with a solid shirt. And definitely, DEFINITELY ditch the sandals. Barefoot is the way to go. You can look dressed up without being dressed up…
My cousin got married to a douche at some unpronouncable location in Mexico (and I took three years of Spanish). He wore a similar suit, except it was about two sizes too big. This looks like it fits you much better. I believe he was barefoot, but I like the sandals idea. Have fun buddy.
if you are gonna wear a suit, wear a belt!
Ok. So this has been bothering me. I’m not a fan of suits to begin with, mostly because they’re something that needs to be tailored and most guys don’t take the time to have that done. I also think they lack anything that makes them your own style-wise, and even though weddings dressy events, your wardrobe choice should say something more than “I”m going to have to get dressed up so I should wear a suit.” Having said that, I poked around a little bit, and found a couple of articles that have some good advice, whether it’s formal or more casual. With all due respect to you guys offering your thoughts, I think you’re missing the mark, but bless you for trying ;)
http://www.islandbrides.com/view-article/Dressing+The+Groom/38/
http://www.weddingchannel.com/ui/buildArticle.action?assetUID=3196&c=3196&s=105&t=13&p=1498&l=3609
Great homework bridgette. Those Web sites both give great advice. I think the suit is a little blah for a beach wedding. I would definitely say so add a little more flair to what you are wearing. I think that if you are the bride or the groom you shouldn’t be able to be confused for a wedding guest, which is what the above outfit does. If you were a wedding guest, it would be great. I am planning on wearing a similar outfit to a friend’s wedding this summer.
also, if you stick with that outfit you need shoes. If you go with a more laid back and informal one, go shoeless or in sandals (that takes into account if you have attractive feet. If you don’t, wear slip-ons).
Thanks to everyone for their help. The tan is a lot lighter than the pictures show. One thing that might make a difference is that my fiance is wearing this dress. Well one thigs is for sure I am going to wear a belt and I’m either wearing shoes or nothing (as in bare feet). Although I really like the tie I am going to look for something brighter and see if I come up with something. Thank you again.
After reading bridgitte’s links, I agree now with the group that says the suit color is too dark. It’s a nice shade for a sunny day in September in the city, but not quite that really fresh beachy look. If the whole white linen/ JFK set of references is too much for you, then go blue blazer, white pants. And what are the three F’s of clothing, people? Never forget: fit, fashion, and fabric. Be ruthless with yourself, Ian: all three should be OUTSTANDING on your wedding day.
1. Ditch the tie or wear shoes. One or the other.
2. If a suit has belt loops, wear a belt.
3. Most important, be comfortable! You’re going to be wearing this thing all day. The suit is nice and taking the tie off makes it much less casual – especially if you aren’t wearing shoes.
have fun and congrats.
It is actually a style in the UK to ditch the belt or so I’ve read that what people in the financial industry have been doing recently. I think the statement is that if your suit is properly tailored you don’t need a belt, so you are proclaiming that fact.
The suit seems to fit well.
As for the sandals, you can easily pull it off if they are the right type of sandals. or it can go horrendously bad
re: the belt. Style in the UK or not, I’ve long believed that if there are belt loops, you gotta put a belt in them. Suit pants, jeans, slacks, whatever. Put a belt on.
Belts (along with sunglasses and socks) are one of the few chances guys get to accessorize. Accessories are key in making an outfit your own.
I stand by this. Screw UK fashions. Wear a belt.
I don’t mind the suit and shirt, but I di think it is pretty conservative for a beach wedding.
That said, if you are going to go in that direction, definitely wear a belt, and wear shoes, or no shoes, but don’t wear sandals.
One possible shoe suggestion would be Sperry Gold Cup slip ons.
[url]http://www.sperrytopsider.com/jump.jsp?itemType=PRODUCT&itemID=920[/url]
or the more traditional gold cup boat shoe:
[url]http://www.zappos.com/n/p/p/7135395/c/28.html[/url]
These shoes are insanely comfortable (deerskin lining, memory foam in the sole) which is important for your wedding day, and they fit the “beach” theme.
But . . . they are clearly a “love ‘em or hate ‘em” look. Growing up in Annapolis, MD, and being around boats all my life, this is a “good” look for me. But many think these look ridiculous. You be the judge.
And congrats on your wedding — have fun!