Elimination Communication: How Dads Can Ditch Diapering
Published by Josh Kimball March 1st, 2007 in Family. Share ThisMy grandfather has had ten kids in his life, and he’s changed exactly one diaper. Since defecation experts estimate the average number of diapers per child to hit around 6,000 before they get the hang of the toilet, that puts the approximate tally at Grandpa: 1, Grandma: 59,999.
For most dads today, that ratio’s not practical. Changing dude is one of the few tasks fathers can immediately master and physically deliver (unless you’re a Milk Man). And though not all changes are simple procedures – the dreaded “blow-out” (whereupon the diaper is insufficient to contain the insane quantities of spewing waste), for instance, is more like a Civil War Battlefield Surgery than it is a manageable daily transaction – diapering has become a part of most dads’ de facto duties.
But for guys who give two turds about what happens to all those soiled ass-wrappers, modern diapering is a moral morass. Disposables are a landfill nightmare and cloth diapers have environmental and practical problems of their own (including use of cleaning chemicals and all the water it takes to wash them).
There do exist, of course, hardcore eco-friendly options for the Earth conscious. You can buy gDiapers, which biodegrade, and can simply be flushed down the toilet (have the Roto-Rooter number at the ready, if you’re going to try this–I’m just saying). Or, of course, you can take the carbon balancing route. Just like SUV drivers pay for the pollution of their Hummers through TerraPass, dads can get a free enviro pass on all the diapers they change by chipping in to the UK’s Carbon Clear.
But the best option environmentally, and my personal (theoretical) favorite is Elimination Communication. A definition: “Elimination communication (EC) is a form of nurturing in which a caregiver uses timing, signals, cues, and intuition to help an infant address his or her elimination needs, partially or completely avoiding the use of diapers.”
That’s right. You watch the kid, begin to understand what face he makes and how he flails his arms when he has to go, then you grab him and run for the toilet when he goes cross-eyed. Eventually, you are able to sense when an eruption is imminent. I would further theorize that since it’s entirely possible to teach babies sign language, a dad with some ingenuity could simply create a hand signal for “Dad, I have to take a dump.”
Elimination communication is not only ecologically friendly, it’s economical, as well (so bite it, bean counters). Of, course I’ve never tried the method myself. Really, it’s not so easy being a rigorously environmentally friendly dad. And I’m guessing it’s not very clean either.
7 Responses to “Elimination Communication: How Dads Can Ditch Diapering”
- 1 Pingback on Mar 2nd, 2007 at 3:51 pm
If you can’t get out of changing diapers, at least be
prepared. At the store we have the PPTP,
which you use to cover his baby
junk when changing so you don’t get sprayed.
I must confess, I’ve never had to change a diaper. I thought
the PPTP
was just a fun novelty gift. Since we started selling them,
I’ve had a bunch of people (mostly women) tell me that something about
the temp change when you open a diaper causes little boys (and grown
men???) to start with the golden showers.
If I ever get into a golden shower, I want to make sure I’m on the
giving end, so I’ll gladly use this.
I do not have any children of my own yet, but my experience in diaper changing is vast due to the fact that I have 3 Nephews on my wife’s side and 3 Nieces on mine. This diaper deluge is further compounded by the Dutch Reformed Catholic Mafia that is my extended family who have a total of 12 children under 5.
The entire diaper situation will never be remotely acceptable as a past-time, but I have always been fascinated by the lack of cooperation I have encountered, in what always turns out to be some kind of hide-and-go-seek game of deception.
Both in terms of detection and disposal, my families’ progeny tend toward pretending that their eliminations have never actually occurred, which is followed by the, bound to fail, attempt to wrangle to small (at this point quite ripe) child in order to confirm that they are in fact contributing toward our ever increasing investment into *insert un-named faceless diaper producing magnate*. The disposal of said elimination very much frowned upon by these giggling heathens, who seem quite reluctant to part with their soiled under-roos.
I’m quite shocked that some women will allow their, husbands or significant others to become mysteriously scarce at these frequent points in the development of their offspring. I can clearly picture any attempts I would ever make at escaping these special moments together to end poorly, after all there are knives in our house and my wife knows where they are.
No one is too good to deal with a Diaper.
We’ve tried gDiapers. Wet diapers are not a problem, #2 is a whole different issue. When you’re trying to take out the flushable insert from the cutesy plastic outer shell, and there’s poo slime (yeah, poo slime) all over the place, you start to realize that gDiapers may not be the best solution.
We also tried Fuzzy Bunz (my wife picked them, I swear!), which are fully cloth diapers. They’re nice when the kid’s the right size for the diaper, but when she’s too small or grows out of the size you have, you end up with more blowouts.
Right now, we’re using a mix. At home, it’s cloth diapers (Fuzzy Buns and Bum genius…) and we use landfill stuffing disposables when we’re out and about.
Less than ideal, but still better than nothing.
I’m learning a lot here…
The PPTP could definitely be a worthwhile investment. Kids seem to have a sixth sense that recognizes when they can do the most peripheral damage to clothes, furniture, their own faces, etc. (i.e. when the diaper is off).
I dunno what the fuss is about, guys. We have a 3 yo girl and a 1.5 yo boy. I typically end up with 2-3 changes per day each. After the first week of the first child, it just became a routine. Hurray for Balmex and Triple Paste!
As for the kids squirming, or hiding, or running, or whatever, I think firm and consistent response cures the rpoblem. When our fist tried that on me for the first time, I very sternly made sure that she understood that I was not going to play along or tolerate it. She tried for about a week, and then gave it up as unwinnable - and has been pretty much perfect ever since. The second one tried it at about the same age and it took even less time.
The interesting part is that both can still drive my wife to distraction with the same behavior. She never established the ground rules, and so they learned that they can get away with it with her. But as soon as I show up in the room and put my hand gently on their head or chest, they quiet right down, and stay put.
On the other hand, when they wake up, no matter who shows up (me, their granparents, favorite aunt or uncles), all they want is MOMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!!! :-)
But diapers? Easiest thing in the world. What really scares me are two words: “driving” and “dating” ….