Needless to say these conditions in no way apply to the iPhone. Everybody HAS ALREADY GOT a bleedin’ cell phone. I for one can’t wait to get away from my email once in a while and I have got absolutely zero desire to be able to connect to the Internet when I’m out there actually living my fucking life.

Plus. Even if I could afford it, there is no way I would pay 500 bucks for a phone that you can’t dial without looking at it.

The iphone is not a kidney dialysis machine (at least not yet :-) It is a buying choice like everything else from day old bread to a Bentley. You can choose to buy according to your needs but it’s another choice – not sure why other than people who work at Apple’ competitors, it “inspires/unleashes” such rage.

Cingular service – so, this guy really believes if Apple got no revenue from new iphone customers, Cingular/AT&T was/is going to plow that money towards customer service or would they simply get bigger shrimp at the executive retreat?

A two year cell phone contract – not exactly everyone’s first choice but who here not in prison thinks 2 years doesn’t fly by in a twink of an eye – how much free time does this guy have that 2 years seems intermable? Okay, if you feel that way, DON’T BUY AN IPHONE or ANY CONTRACT PHONE – you can buy pre paid. It’s not like it’s a trick contract where it’s month to month but if you’re late with a payment, it gets converted to two years. It says right there on the front of the webiste – TWO YEAR blah, blah, blah – it’s plain right there. If you disagree, don’t buy it.

Can’t Install Apps – Smartphones have a 3% marketshare now and really, what apps are most people installing? My evidence is only limited to about 30 people but as far as I tell from my friends and colleagues, not only have they only installed at most a few apps at most but in virtually all the cases – it’s simply BETTER versions of what’s included so until we see Apple’ apps, we don’t know what else there is. It is like Apple’s MAIL, it’s not a perfect app but it’s pretty nice. No real need for me to buy another MAIL app. Of course, Outlook support is important but you really think if MS offered an Outlook for the iphone, Apple wouldn’t let them sell you one? I presume the web surfer is a mini Safari – do I really need to load another browser? As for the other necessary utilities like notes, calendar, address book, etc, I can’t imagine Apple not providing a state of the art version – what else? Being able to read PDF’s and Office formats? Beyond that, what else are you looking to load? Sure, it sounds like it’s a feature we want but look at the ipod, without you being to load other apps, we have games, we have ebooks, we have transit maps, we have drink mixes and we the Constitution … it’s like choosing between a 6-speed and an 8-speed transmission for a 4-door sedan, why exactly do you need an 8-speed transmission? But AGAIN, NOT hidden from you – NOT a surprise. They announced right up front – if it’s not for you, it’s not for you.

And in closing, he’s saying – only he is smart enough to read the giant typeface on the FRONT PAGE of the website and he’s telling us that a 2 YEAR CONTRACT means a 2 year contract and no third party apps means no third party apps and he’s saying that AT&T would’ve taken the millions they are giving to Apple to plow right back into customer service so by buying an iphone, that money will only go to Apple who is probably going to waste it on R&D or having Jonathan Ive devise a shrimp the size of the Cisco iphone.

So, remember, don’t read what’s plainly written when you can read his words.

Frederic, 1) I believe that Apple and Cingular sharing revenue sets up an internal struggle between those two companies that will only lead to increased prices for the end-user. 2) Thanks for the clarifications. I obviously hadn’t looked deeply enough into it. 3) I love the philosophy behind the development of Apple’s products. It’s why I use a Mac. But if someone wants to create a program for the Mac that potentially breaks it, there’s nothing stopping them from doing so. It should be the same on the iPhone, as allowing third-party apps to be developed doesn’t hinder Apple from providing well-written, well-integrated apps of their own. 4) In general I agree, but these columns were written to be bawdy and raucous, given their intended audience. These are fun, if earnest rants.

Obey the Fist: I’m glad you got the intended irony of the column, even if you somehow presume that I didn’t get it, despite the fact that I wrote it. The pomposity is an attempt to engender a response. (And I find it funny.)

I’ll be the first to admit that not opening up the iPhone will not be a huge factor for many of the eventual owners of the phone. That said, it doesn’t make the inability for those who care or have the ability to be able to open it up. I’m ready to drop $600 and deal with a carrier switch right now to use the iPhone – I’m genuinely excited by its innovations – but I can’t rationally come up with a reason why Apple would lock out developers that doesn’t ultimately boil down to an attempt to squeeze users for some more money. I betcha that Apple will end up opening it up eventually (or people will figure out how to crack it and install apps without Apple’s sanction), but that still doesn’t make the developer lockout something I feel comfortable rewarding them for choosing to do.

Would you buy a Mac that only runs signed applications available from Apple?

Yes, yes, we should all hold out for the Linux phone. The one that is so open and free that there’s no good business model to make it a viable, innovative product. And if you don’t agree with that, well, you’re just a plebeian dullard – the bane of the enlightened ones’ existence.

Here’s an idea for you: buy a phone. Buy a handheld PC. Install Linux and code the crap out of it. Call the 2600 club and tell them what you’ve done. I don’t understand what Apple’s done to hold you back.

1) If Apple and Cingular are sharing subscriber revenue (which, by the by, is only a rumor even if it’s the WSJ propagating the rumor), how does it impact the user? Answer: Not at all.

2) No, in your cited article, Congress didn’t mandate phone unlocking, they simply revised the Digital Millennium Copyright Act so that software that unlocks phones is no longer a violation of the DMCA. And technically, it’s the Librarian of Congress who simply extended the list of allowable activities.

3) I’m of the opinion that there will be third party apps. But the early Macintosh required one to jump through hoops and swear allegiance to the Macintosh interface guidelines. Back in 1983 and 1984, if you wanted to be a “Certified Developer”, you had to present a plan and even interview with Apple. It was a months long process. Considering the complexity of the iPhone (OS X + iPod + iPhone + Balance battery/CPU/network access), it’s likely best that access be tightly controlled initially. But I too will be annoyed if there’s no dev kit. All that having been said, Apple customers don’t buy stuff because it breaks so nicely; they buy it because it works so nicely. Shipping something that’s easily broken is a bad customer experience…which is worse than being frustrated because you can’t install something that you’d like.

4) Ranting and cursing and mixing in references to “genital cavities” won’t change Apple’s behavior. Write to Investor Relations if you’re bored. They’ll actually call you back. Heck, write to Steve Jobs. Sometimes he even calls back. But I’m pretty sure that if you talk about genitalia they, and most everyone else, will simply ignore you.

Frederic

“I’ve been reading Gizmodo for a good while, when Joel left. Then I stopped reading it. Simple. And I wanted to keep reading it, God only knows I really wanted to, there just was no reason left to do it, as I came to realize. Now that he’s back, I reckon I’ll have to start watching it aga… oh wait, he’s not coming back after all. All righty, then. Bye-bye, you others. Have a nice life…”

Anyway, great piece. Good points. Funny writing. Well done.

All it takes is comparing Gates’s “buy disks and rip them” comment to Jobs’s “we (philosophically) don’t like DRM” to see one is interested in selling hardware and software while the other is intent on building a media and tech empire.

It seems Jobs is making Gates look good, and for those scoring at home, that’s a bad sign. 85% percent of a market that is no where near saturation is not a strong enough position to be acting as emperor. Didn’t he learn anything with the Mac?

As far as “not pissing off Jobs”, and whatever Apple worship motives that any of these tech sites have… well, that certainly doesn’t prevent someone from presenting a contrary opinion. Such articles are actually entertaining, therefore it’s in the interest of publishers to run this kind of stuff…

You know, when it doesn’t read like a Lewis Black monologue. That’s probably what hurt this the most – not just the fuck-fuck-fuck parade, but the entire vitriol of the piece and the punk attitude (I mean that complimentary). The problem is, you’re attacking the readers and the brands that they like, with more color than commentary. You sound like Dvorak on a meth binge. What you’re better off doing, especially among a crowd that already has your respect, is to plainly state your reasoned opinion and go light on the spicy language. What you say, sir, is fact (the iPhone will be the same sort of dumbphone that everyone, sans Blackberry/Treo, already has) and you don’t really need to establish corporate greed as a motive. And don’t berate the audience, regardless of how impatient you are with them, because if they’re not smart enough to get your point in plain text, they’re not smart enough to comfortably swallow a heaping spoonful of sarcasm, either.

About the iPhone: I wouldn’t go near it. I don’t need to know why it sucks. I just know that it is highly underwhelming. On sale for $200 with a target audience of non-business users who don’t own an iPod, it would be a no-brainer. But that it is not.

I’d still rather carry a smartphone/PDA + iPod. I have both, and although I suffer the need to carry each to all places, the two rarely meet functionally. Notably, I can use the phone to play music and its SD card can store a fair quantity of songs, but it’s not as good at that function as my iPods are. Also, since I can’t listen to music and talk on the phone at once, why try to force the two together on the same device? As far as I see, the iPhone is an expensive gadget that will not be a smartphone, probably won’t be the best mobile phone or comm device, and probably won’t be as good for music as a 30GB 5G iPod. It seems like a bad idea to me.

Points were well drawn and the sad thing is that 90% of this world doesn’t give a fuck, either because they are too ignorant, want things easy, or are blinded by their unhealthy obsession with Apple.

Your Worst Nightmare:
FUCK YOU!… yeah that’s a great and intelligent response that warrants serious consideration before the other side can respond to your amazing rebuttle.

Way to go you dumb fuck. If you seriously find something to be contradictory to what you believe, you need to organize your thoughts a little better, and have a more complete outline for your side of the debate. Grow up and think for yourself a little, or if you try to think for yourself, try also to convey your ideas with a little bit more eloquence so everyone doesn’t just think “wow, what an idiot”

Everyone Else:
Everyone who reads either Gizmodo, Dethroner, other tech blogs and sites, you are probably smarter than the average person. THINK ABOUT SHIT BEFORE YOU GET BLINDED BY GLITZ. And for the love of (insert preferred deity here) please fulfill your obligation to the rest of the masses and try your best to EDUCATE everyone in whatever areas you are more proficient in. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE A SMARTER POPULOUS!

Gizmodo:
You stupid fucks… I love your site, but this was just a bad move not to publish this.
It has exactly what a tech blog article needs. It would’ve caused a giant response, which would have increased the viewing of the site.
Or, get your heads out of Jobs’ ass.

Thank you,
Stefan

Whenever I heard the line “revolutionary” I also though of the Emperors’ new clothes: The iPhone is revolutionary for Apple maybe, but not for anyone else.

Just makes me more anxious to get on with that idea I have for an open-source smartphone.

Think about it. Open apps on phones can be stinky piles of poo while others can be better than average. That isn’t to say that there aren’t good apps for your phone, but would it not be better, from a consumer point of view, to have the phone developer build the apps? I would imagine that at some point when the OS is a little further along Apple will open up to allow more “certified developers” to publish apps.

As for locking the phone, we all know what this means, but nearly everyone in my office wouldn’t have any idea what I’m talking about. Nor would they care. They are not as tied to phones as they are to pricing of plans. Of course if you do end up paying this much for a phone/internet device you might be more inclined to want to jump carriers with the phone, but consumers know how the game works.

Sidenote: I’m not surprised Gizmodo nixed this. There’s only so much (hostile) truth folks like that are willing to take, I think.
I loved it, though. ;)

The biggest disappointment, for me, is the lack of user-installed software. Job’s oh-noes-you’ll-take-down-the-East-coast bullshit made my blood boil. It’s almost embarrassing when a 3 year-old Windows platform can accomplish more than a shiny new “OS X” operating system. From my perspective, it all comes down to keeping VOIP and IM off the iPhone. VOIP = lost call revenue. IM = lost SMS revenue. When you realise that Apple has a vested interest in keeping monthly bills as high as possible, it all makes sense.

And don’t get me started on the soft keyboard. I’ve *never* used a touch-screen keyboard which I liked. And one which can’t be used with gloves, fingernails or a stylus? Fuck that.