The Greatest Crappy Movie Ever Made: Zardoz
6 Comments Published by Alex February 16th, 2007 in Movies. Share This
My recent post about sideburns closed with an image of me captured during my style homage to Sean Connery’s character in one of the strangest films that ever made international release: John Boorman’s preposterous and bizarre concept film, Zardoz.
In making his bid to break loose entirely from the wristlock that the public had on the actor’s association only with James Bond, Connery took several drastic measures, including taking the role of Zed for a pittance compared to his regular salary.
While I did put a link at the end of that sideburns post to the Zardoz wikipedia page, the film is just too weird and cheesy and brilliant and insane and totally moronic to leave it at just one mere link. Zardoz deserves better than that.
However, as luck would have it, some helpful wag already wrote the definitive Zardoz tribute, delivering a step by step synopsis of the story and the ham fisted devices that run rampant throughout the film. At fifteen pages long, the agonyybooth.com Zardoz review is quite an undertaking, with all the flair and color that a dork like me could hope for, but the length to which the author has gone to review the film is a great testament to how truly fucked up this picture is.
Zardoz: a recap by Albert Walker [agonybooth.com]
Only Connery could send two hours dressed as a Village People reject and not have his sexuality come into question. That’s either a testament to his acting chops, or absolutely no one has seen the damn movie.
Wait, there’s more – he spends a scene dressed in a wedding dress. Perhaps this was the dawn of genderfuck.
If you were to point your browser towards ISOhunt and enquire about said movie. You will be rewarded with a torrent.
I have to say I think one of the greatest worst movies of all time is “Cannibal the Musical” by Trey Parker and Matt Stone released under Troma. It is only good the first time unless you completely forgot it to watch it a second. It is great because there are some plot lines and jokes that make no sense in the begining but come to fruition after a one-liner around a campfire among other memorable inexpensive scenes.
The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
I saw this on HBO a while back. I thought I must have missed crucial parts because it didn’t seem to quite make sense…