There are few—actually zero—foods that get my motor humming like a plate full of raw meat, and I’m fortunate enough that my wife happens to agree. Some women seem to be squeamish about eating raw dead things, and if you’re stuck with one of those or, God forbid, a vegetarian, then you’ll want to skip this recipe altogether. I just don’t think you can adequately substitute the meat in this dish with tofu, since it doesn’t bleed. Fortunately for the carnivore crowd, this recipe is not only delicious, it’s also one of the easiest recipes you can possibly make. You don’t even have to cook anything!

Carpaccio can technically be made with just about any red meat, but the best (and original) is beef or, if you’re particularly decadent, veal. For this recipe, we’re going with beef tenderloin. This will be enough for two for a protein course, but it’s not really a full meal. You’ll need:

Beef Carpaccio

• 8 oz beef tenderloin, trimmed of fat
• 1/2 C extra virgin olive oil
• 1/4 C dry white wine (optional)
• juice of 1 or 2 lemons
• 1 shallot clove, minced
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• small handful flat leaf parsley, torn up a bit
• 2 T capers, drained
• shaved Parmigiano Reggiano to taste (more is better)
• salt to taste

Start by wrapping your beef in plastic wrap and tossing it in the freezer. You’re going to want to let it freeze for at least 10 minutes, up to half an hour or so depending on how thick it is. You’re going to want to slice it really thin, and it will be a hell of a lot easier to slice if it’s a bit frozen.

While your meat is chilling, combine the wine, lemon juice, shallots, garlic, capers and parsley, and whisk vigorously to combine. Slowly add the olive oil in a drizzle while continuing to whisk. This is probably the most important part, because if you add the oil too fast the emulsion will break down and you will be very sorry indeed—if that happens, you’ll be stuck whisking even longer, so it’s best to just avoid it altogether. Once the oil is worked in and well-combined, give it a taste and add salt as needed, then cover and stow it in the fridge while your meat continues to firm up.

Once the steak is frozen enough to get nice thin slices, have at it. Make sure to slice it as thin as you possibly can! Arrange the slices however you like on a plate, then pour on the dressing. You won’t need all of it, so be careful. We aren’t making raw meat in a puddle of oil. Once the meat is dressed and looks pretty, lay on the cheese shavings and serve.