VICTOR GARCIA–As kids we dreamed about what it would feel like to play in “the big one,” nailing a 52-yard field goal to win the Super Bowl. (Hey, 10-year-old Pony League field goal kickers had dreams, too; not just the stud quarterbacks). Reaching the pinnacle of your favored sport is something that kids world-over dream about, but only a fraction actually get a crack at.

So why do so many pro athletes screw up the chance to play in the most important game of their careers?

Most football players—even some legends—spend their entire careers without ever winning a Super Bowl. (Mr. Marino, you’ll always have your winning performance in the Super Bowl of movies: “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.”)

After the jump four guys who made it to the Super Bowl and didn’t (or nearly didn’t) get to play—because they’re idiots.

(Okay, one guy has a mental condition, but it’s the Super Bowl. Buck up.)

• Stanley Wilson, Cincinnati Bengals

Wilson was a fullback for the Cincinnati Bengals and, having battled cocaine abuse throughout his career, a two-strike NFL drug policy offender. (He was suspended for the entire ‘87 season on account of his drug violations.) Stanley seemed to get back on the horse the following season, passing his drug tests, keeping clean, and leading the ‘88 Bengals to a winning season—and a spot in the Super Bowl against the San Francisco 49ers.

The night before the Super Bowl, the team held a last team meeting at their hotel. Wilson told Head Coach Sam Wyche that he forgot his playbook back in his room; Wyche said they would wait for Wilson while he retrieved it.

They waited.

After almost a half-an-hour, Wyche’s fears of Wilson’s relapse were confirmed. Stanley Wilson was found in the bathroom of his hotel room coked to the gills. Coach Wyche left Wilson off the Super Bowl roster as a result, and the Bengals ended up losing to the 49ers the next night.

Wilson was later sentenced to 22 years in prison for stealing jewelry and other valuables from a Beverly Hills home.

• Eugene Robinson, Atlanta Falcons

As a Pro-bowl safety who had won a Super Bowl Ring with the Packers in Super Bowl XXXI, played a strong game in a second Super Bowl appearance (while losing to the Broncos), and was about to play in his third Super Bowl in a row—this time as a member of the Falcons—Eugene Robinson had enjoyed a distinguished career in the NFL.

The Saturday morning before the Super Bowl, Robinson was given the Bart Starr Award, awarded to a player with “high moral character.” That Saturday night, he proved he deserved the award: he gave a prostitute a highly moral $40 for a blowjob. The prostitute was an under-cover cop.

Robinson was allowed to play. Under much media scrutiny, he played an absolutely terrible game and his Falcons lost to the Broncos.

• Barret Robbins, Oakland Raiders

Robbins was a center (the dude that snaps the ball to the quarterback every play) for the Oakland Raiders—a damn good one at that, distinguished as an All-Pro. His Raiders were set to play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Super Bowl XXXVII, and the Raiders were favored to win.

The night before Super Bowl Sunday, Robbins disappeared. He was accounted for Friday night; Saturday morning he was gone, missing many of the team’s walkthroughs and meetings.

Robbins came back Saturday night, disoriented, drunk, and incoherent. It turns out he went on an all-day drinking binge—in Tijuana. Coach Bill Callahan had no choice but to leave him off the roster for the Super Bowl, even kicking him out of the team hotel. The Raiders went on to lose to the Bucs, and Robbins was chastised by his fellow teammates for “letting the team down.”

It was later revealed that Robbins suffered from severe bipolar disorder and depression. The Super Bowl pressure precipitated a titanic meltdown.

It’s especially sad to read later interviews, as Robbins seems to have wanted to get back on his feet. He never got the chance. In early 2005 he was in a brawl with Miami police, subsequently shot three times, and charged with attempted murder.

• Tank Johnson, Chicago Bears

Tank Johnson hasn’t screwed up his Super Bowl yet, but the week is young.

Toward the end of the 2006 regular season, things were looking pretty okay for Tank Johnson and the Chicago Bears. They had the NFC North Division under wraps. They were poised to win the last two games of the regular season and jump into the playoffs.

On December 14th Tank Johnson had a bad day: police raided his Gurnee, Illinois, home and found six firearms, included two assault rifles. Tank’s live-in bodyguard and best friend, William Posey, was found in possession of marijuana.

Worse, Tank was already on probation for a February incident in which he was charged with aggravated assault and resisting arrest. Facing a misdemeanor charge with the potential of putting him in jail for a year because of his probation, Johnson decided to do the smart thing: party his troubles away.

Unfortunately, an altercation at the night club in which Johnson was partying resulted in tragedy: William Posey’s murder. Later that month, a judge placed Johnson under home arrest, allowing him to travel only to and from practice with someone else driving him. No stops—not even for a piss break or fast food drive-thru.

He could legally travel only in Illinois, for work reasons. As the Bears had their first two playoff games at Soldier Field in Chicago, he was able to play without issue. However, after the Bears won the NFC Championship and earned themselves a trip to Miami for Super Bowl XLI, Johnson had to wait for a ruling from the judge to see if he’d be allowed to travel outside of Illinois.

Since Johnson had been complicit in home confinement, the judge allowed him to travel to Miami—it was a legitimate work-related reason, after all—but gave him stern warning to be on his best behavior. If not, said the judge, “dire consequences will result.”

The last three people mentioned before Tank Johnson have had their teams lose the Super Bowl. As an avid Chicago Bears fan, I hope Johnson keeps himself in check.

• Honorable Mention – Ben Roethlisberger

Roethlisberger the Roflsburger and his Steelers aren’t in the Super Bowl—they didn’t even make the playoffs—but I had to include him anyway. Big Ben led his Pittsburgh Steelers to a Super Bowl title last year in Super Bowl XL; Super Bowl champions are usually expected to make a playoff appearance the following season (barring major personnel changes).

During the off-season, Roethlisberger went out for a ride in his motorcycle—and crashed. He wasn’t wearing a helmet and lacked a valid Pennsylvania motorcycle license. After the accident, he was bleeding from his head and throat, fractured his jaw and left sinus cavity, broke many facial bones, lost some teeth—we’re talking emergency surgery. Not quite the news the Steelers wanted to hear as they prepared to defend their title.

Though he was back in time for training camp, Roethlisberger had another setback: he had to have an emergency appendectomy in early September, thus missing the first game of the regular season. The Steelers ended up having a mediocre season, finishing an even 8-8 in the regular season and not making the playoffs. Who knows what a 100% healthy Roethlisberger could’ve done for himself and his team had he followed Steeler great Terry Bradshaw’s advice: leave the motorcycle riding for after retirement.