Ultimate Hair Risk: White Boy Afro
23 Comments Published by Alex January 16th, 2007 in Grooming, Hair. Share ThisUndeniably, one of the hardest hitting and unapologetic looks a caucasoid can rock is the white boy afro. It’s one of those all or nothing moves, seeking the big payoff in the respect of your fellow men and the adoration of women everywhere. Guys who win with this thing are viewed as hip beyond mortal limitations, sexually virile, freewheeling and living The Life. The gamble – more often than not, you’ll look like Sideshow Bob and even your inflatable love doll would sooner fake a headache over laying down with your nappy ass.
Like so much else in this world, it all comes down to your natural character. Is your unconscious gait a strut, or do you fake a limp? Are you truly easygoing with all manner of folk or are you known as to be judgemental or intolerant? When you get to the club, are all your drinks comped, while everyone else’s goes up by a buck? Do you stay abreast of the coolest music in any genre, are you a total bitch magnet, can you wear clothes that other men wouldn’t be caught dead in but they somehow work like magic on you? Or do you simply have enough fuck you money that you can do any damn thing you want?
If you pass these tests, then you, sir, might be a candidate for the white boy’s afro.
After the jump, a rather sizable collection of gentlemen with the ballsiest ‘do in town; no judgements from us as to whether they rock or walk; I leave that to you.
I don’t think you left anybody out, except for the singer from Wolfmother. And nice try – you have as much of an afro as you do a mullett.
With the aid of hair grease I posess a WBA and I’m not cool enough to pull it off. I had to get into rockabilly on pupose and walk around in period costume like a Civil War reenactor in order to hide my broccoli headed shame beneath some $2.99 hair grease, it was the only way out.
I don’t know who’s sexier–Bob Ross or the guy 13th down.
I don’t know if I’d call it the ultimate risk…the white-boy dreadlocks look might be giving it a run for it’s money. Maybe they should go at it in a head-to-head cage match.
White Boy Afros would *totally* win.
http://www.mattwolf.info/images/afroken.gif
Afro Ken rocks it.
It is important to note that many who rock the white afro are indeed heebs. The jafro, or jewfro as it’s commonly called by my people. It’s that certain somethin’ I tell ya. Garfunkel? The guy from “Welcome Back Kotter”? Enough said.
My dad had a mean jewfro. I ended up with hair that won’t hold a curl. Is there no justice?
I mentioned a while ago, when it was still New Year’s Resolution week here, that my number one goal of the year -seriously, the first thing that occured to me, was,
“1. Learn how to make really good dreadlocks on whitey.”
It is a serious risk indeed. We’ve all seen at least ten white folks with dreads who look like fools for every one white person with dreads who looks like they just got off of the Mothership of Human Godhood. I’m determined to isolate not only what kind of dreads look good on what kind of hair, but also what kind of caucasian can actually pull the look off and make it sing.
Asians with dreads have been popping up around town for years now, and they almost all look freakin’ fantastic. What gives? I wonder sometimes if I’m being an inside-out racist, like if it’s not possible for me to think that funky Asian folks look anything other than supercool. Hmm, perhaps if I saw one with a fro it would be a different story.
As a black guy I have to say: I LOVE THE WHITE BOY FRO.
Seriously, I think it stems from spending lazy Sunday afternoons watching Bob Ross paint happy lil clouds on PBS – or did I watch him because I loved his WBF?
Personally,I don’t think the WBF is as big a risk as the post makes it to be – I’ve seen plenty of white guys running around Manhattan with bad straight hair, so it’s really all about how you rock it.
Oh, and dude in photo #4? Thats not a WBF. That’s a half-assed “Wolverine.”
So, is there any hope for those of us white guys with naturally curly hair that, left to its own devices, becomes one of these monstrosities? I’m not cool enough to rock the white boy ‘fro.
I get a buzz cut every month down to 5/8ths or so and by the time I get it cut again it really only looks good after i wear a stocking cap for a bit to give it severe hat hair. And then it re-asserts itself after a few hours and becomes the baby ‘fro.
I tried a couple of things in college — keeping the sides really short while letting the front, top, and back grow out, in a misguided attempt to get an Eraserhead look going on. Didn’t work. I had a mullet for about a week, and I thought it looked pretty good, but my girlfriend threatened to send a picture into mulletwatch, so out that went.
Is there any hope for me if I don’t want to go on chemical straighteners (which iirc actually involve estrogen) ? Should I resign myself to a lifetime of buzz cuts? And I do mean lifetime — Male Pattern Baldness has not struck in my family for at least four generations.
just let you soul glo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQENuTc-Tak
and remember your a Freak-a-Holic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qu6oY03cZ1w
ML, your contribution is too compelling to allow it to simply be a response here. By God, it should be its own post. See the forthcoming “Ask Dethroner”.
Heh, cool.
Just remember: the fact that I thought a mullet looked good means I’m automatically disqualified from ever pulling off a full-on ‘fro. In my defense, I was probably stoned at the time, but that’s a poor excuse.
Bumble and Bumble defrizz is the best way to get rid of the fro, its easy to use and will change your life
Sometimes I long for a tighter curl in my hair, cause at least then I could have a more…extreme? hairstyle. Not extreme, just something that grabs a little more attention. My hair is not straight enough to ever have the sexy Tom Cruise man hair (see: Vanilla Sky posters), and its not curly enough to fro out. It’s just incredibly thick with lazy waves. I rocked the long hair down my back for a couple years, but its so thick that it was insane to maintain. The wavedness makes it nearly impossible to spike out and look good at anything but the perfect length, so I just sorta page-boy it, with the little flip up at the bangs. *Sigh* It’s so boring. I wish I could rock the WBF.
dude I’ve been rockin’ the WBF for about 5 years now… I generally get a pretty positive respone from people.. Am I one of the few??
No… The greatest white boy ‘fro’s in current circulation must be those of The Mars Volta frontmen Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and Cedric Bixler-Zavala. they just look fuckin cool…
In response to what Alex said about Asians with fros…I was in class with a Asian guy with a fro, it looked really weird but it was cool though.
Anyways I also had a friend who was Caucasian had an afro and his hair was just as coarse as a black people’s hair. I tried braiding his hair and ended up having my fingers bleed LOL
Oh and I’m dating a awesome white guy who has dreads and he looks great with them and could look great without them…
Mines beats ‘em all….
and I don’t have any of the requirements on this list, yet I still rock it pretty darn good!
[IMG]http://i489.photobucket.com/albums/rr252/owlskull/messyhair.jpg[/IMG]
To the person looking for tighter crules Or any of you with nappy/curley hair I have a pretty setious WBF like 6 or 7 inches from myhead all around and Get nothing but positive responces and Smiles from cute girs….. If you dont think Your cool enuf for a vanilla fro grow it out People will love it and once you become one With your WBF coolness will follow you. As for tighter curles and also ML grow your hair out this. Iuse tresume shampoo and conditioner Ive tried many and find it works extremly well on Curley or nappy hair. But all i do is get a really thick lather goin with the shampo (its like $5 or $6 for a bigBottle of the poo and cond) lather well while undoing knots And stuff basically if you want thick curley lock like curles (if its long enough) you want to while you have a good lather going use your fingers kinda like a fropick and shape some locks like from the scalp outward with fingers spread then grab all of your hair with bouth hands and while rinceing with water scrunch it all into your scalp like its a pony tail your ringing out dont run your fingers thru anymore just rince all the shampo out with the scrunching method until its squeeky clean… Part 2 next post.
When I used to comb my hair it was naturaly straight with a slight wave but I can get a WBF with lots of shampoo, no combing and rubbing my hair very fast with a brilo pad to give it knots. This only works when my hair is fairly short though so how can I make my WBF grow up and out instead of flopping downwards?
i have a fro and i am white. im still at school and get the mickey taken out of me but its a bit of a 4/6 to people liking it and people thinking its ridiculous. so in every 10 people 4 like it 6 dont. my fro is pretty good in size…. mayb 2 inches or so from my head. i may wait and get dreadlocks what do you guys think?