Dethroner Asks You: What to Investigate in Vegas?
19 Comments Published by Joel January 2nd, 2007 in Ask Dethroner, Destinations. Share This
Next week I’ll be in Las Vegas against my wishes to cover CES, the Consumer Electronics Show. It’s not that I don’t love Vegas—it’s the best three-day theme park too much money can buy—but going to Las Vegas for work is sort of like going to Disney World to mow lawns.
That said, I want to make the most of it, if for no other reason than to do some more research for the inevitable “Las Vegas” theme week here on Dethroner. (It’s not going to happen next week; it deserves my full dedication.) What places live up to the hype? What’s worth going off the strip to find? Can one really make off-the-record penicillin out of orange peels?
Restaurants, bars, and entertainment suggestions are highest on my list. I consider gambling to me an occasional, scene-setting trifle, but incidental to the Las Vegas experience.
Not #1 on your list, but almost definitely the last place you MUST hit…the Double Down Saloon. It’s the best dive bar in town, just off of the strip. This joint is seemingly always in full tilt, with great, ugly music blasting within it’s decrepit punk rock interior. They’re just like yer mama’s legs – they never close.
Do not, repeat do NOT get the infamous “Ass Juice”, no matter how badass you think you are. Nor should you order the “Bacon Martini”, no matter how southern fried you think you could be. Stick with beer or bourbon and you’ll do just fine.
This is the perfect tonic for the overwhelmingly artificial opulence and weirdness of the more plebian delights that await you stripside.
Later, when you return home, we’ll go to their recently opened NYC bar and it’ll feel like the cleanest joint in town by comparison.
Drive up to Red Rock Canyon and do some climbing for me.
I’ve only been to Vegas once for a trade-show and my favorite night out was female mud-wrestling at Gilley’s Saloon. Granted that may have had more to do with going to watch said spectacle with uptight bosses and co-workers who only get out once a year at shows and had no idea what they were getting into.
Well, no, the mud-wrestling was great, too.
Indoor Sky Diving – http://www.flyawayindoorskydiving.com/
I’ve never ventured too far from the strip but here are the 2 sure things I can reccommend.
Classy side of Vega – “O” the Cirque du Solei show at the Bellagio is worth every penny since you will not be able to see a travling version of this show ever. One minute people are walking across water breathing fire the next minute someone dives from 50 feet up into the water right where they were standing. I will refund your ticket if you don’t like it.
Trashy Side – Across the street is Barbary Coast. I love this place. They have penny slots and sometimes they have $3 black jack. Buddies and I played Star Wars penny slots for two hours. Probably spent $5. We tipped our waitress well and we started getting good drinks (Barabry is typically bottom shelf booze) faster then we could drink’em. They also have a great $2.95 breakfast deal for the late nighters and a club called Dre which is open untill 7 or 9 AM!
And you HAVE to pony up the money for a buffet at least once. Mandalay Bay has a great one that includes King Crab legs.
a. You suck. My company was sending me to CES as well but rescinded on their promise and I am bummed. I wish I could trade places with you.
b. If you like restaurants — Rum Jungle at Mandalay Bay and the Peppermill are the coolest IMHO. For activities, nothing beats a helicopter ride down into the Grand Canyon. Red Rocks Canyon is pretty damn cool as well, 15 minutes off the strip to feel like you are hundreds of miles away from anything (watch out for California King Snakes though, despite their harmlessness, encountering them is not something you want to do that high up).
Good spots to eat that are not over the top expensive:
Olives at Bellagio
Mesa Grill at Caesar’s
‘Wichcraft at MGM (for a quick tasty sandwich)
See at least one Cirque (the MGM properties are turning into a Cirque theme-park):
“O”, Mystere, Ka are all good. Zumanity is dubious. Have not seen Love yet.
Club-wise, you’ll probably ahve to go early unless you have three women on your arm (the bouncers work hard to keep the make/female ratio high). Frankly the clubs are all the same to me, but Pure at Caesar’s is fairly hot. Tao at the Venetian was hot but is cooling.
Good places for a drink:
Mix, on top of theHotel at Manadaly Bay. Great strip views. $20 cover but vastly better than the overrated Ghostbar.
The Petrossian in the lobby of Bellagio is the ultimate for people watching.
For gentleman’s entertainment, LaFemme at MGM is classy and artistic. Try the Spearmint Rhino for the more, um, traditional experience.
For the inexperienced gambler, head to the poker room at Luxor or Excalibur at 2pm for daily poker lessons. They walk you through the basic mechanics and etiquette of Texas Hold ‘em with fake chips for about 20 minutes, then they run a super low stakes game ($1 blinds) for any and all comers. No matter how bad a player you are, you could play for hours at this table with only a $50 stake.
Get a day pass to the new Spa at Caesar’s, Qua. Have a workout and spend some time in the whirlpools and sauna and cold plunge and swiss showers, etc. Save money by dining on the snacks they have out. Or, if you have the cash, splurge on a massage.
Fire machine guns!
Fully automatic weapons are legal in Las Vegas, and can be rented at ranges all over town. Somewhat expensive, but a good way to put those counterstrike pwnage skills to the test.
For example:
http://thegunstorelasvegas.com/rental.htm
http://www.lasvegasgunrange.net/index.html
http://www.machinegunkellys.com/
There has to be some way of getting full-auto journalistic access at one of these places and blasting the hell out of stuff at 250 rmp… Interview opportunity with game devs or something…
Bob
The Gun Store: They let any wacko off the street – provided they’ve got some money to do the talking – put a clip or two through a fully automatic weapon in their range.
It’s so very Nevada an experience.
The shark reef in Mandalay Bay has albino crocodiles. It is only open during the day.
Alex is right on with the Double Down.
Malarky is right about the Barbary Coast. Best place to play craps and the free drinks keep coming. They don’t stop. I recommend sticking with beer….
Dexter, Spearmint Rhino :)
If you like house/trance then I would go to ICE. 2 blocks off the strip behind the Alladin (don’t walk take a cab)
If you like to shop, check out the Alladin/Planet Hollywood, Ceasers and Belagio.
Penn and Teller have a pretty good show but it has been running a while.
Dessert! No seriously. One of my favorite things to do in Vegas is find a nice place to sit down and destroy my diet. I prefer to do it early in the morning when I’m starting to wind down from the evening before. Two Suggestions:
Cafe Gelato – Great little shop in the Bellagio. If you walk through the Casino you’ll find it sort of on the backside. They serve fantastic Gelato and other assorted pastries, all with a European flair of sorts. Very laid back.
Grand Lux Cafe – This is a pretty nice restaurant inside the Venetian. It has a pretty good menu overall but the desserts are where it’s at. They have a Banana Cream Pie that could drop a man from 30 yards.
Oh my god, how did I forget the Peppermill. Yes, by god, there is no greater place for a good hangover brunch than the infamous Peppermill, just across from Circus Circus.
I’d have to say that the Cirque Zumanity show is wonderful, by the way. Lovely, sexy show. The two contortionists in the fishbowl were alone worth the price of admission…
Liberace Museum.
The Venus Pool at Caesar’s – Someone told me topless pool, and I was thinking toothless g’ma’s, but it was actually filled with some good looking ladies. Then again it was 110 degrees in the middle of July. Supposedly the Hard Rock has a good one too.
O’Neill’s – Cheaper mins then the rest of the strip and it is right on the strip.
Bellagio Buffet – More expensive than most of the buffet’s be they have the best qualitry imo.
Pure – Def. one of the better clubs.
When I’m sick of the glitz of the strip I head to the Crown & Anchor near UNLV. British pub with decent food, and of course, lots of ales and ciders.
joel: two words -
STRIP. CLUBS.
Call and try to secure reservations at Kellers place. You will be blown away.
I had a chance to go out with Flay to open Mesa, it’s enormous, and an exact carbon copy of the same southwestern garbage he’s been hawking for years. But if you dig his food, you won’t be let down, they’ve got a top notch crew out there now.
Olives is killer. I’m not a fan of that guy, but the food is damn good.
Check out the buffets. Seriously. Want to pull a Rachel Ray and do it on 40 bucks? Buffets.
holy shit, if you want some killer desserts, go hit up the Grand Lux. I think right now, they’re killin’ it out there.
I dig the Bellagio for gambling, or go to the Horseshoe. You might see some bad ass card players from the old days there. The action is great there too. Original home of the WSOP too.
Speaking of which….
Play some poker, imo the only game you can make some money on if you play, unless you dig blackjack. Otherwise, just gamble.
If you’re going for CES, you had better bring your ass over to the porn industry’s version of CES, I think its held the same week CES is. updates are mandatory if you hit that place. I went when I worked for EA a million years ago, and it was mind blowing.
I might have to come back and post some more… Must think……..
The pinball museum in a strip-mall at Tropicana and Pecos Rd. No admission. 200+ pinball machines from all eras.
The most impressive meal I’ve ever had was at Emeril’s New Orleans Fish House in the MGM Grand. It tasted magnificent, and despite thinking that I’d completely overeaten, I felt simply satiated to just the right amount. I have no idea how they did that, but it was impressive.
Other than that, the Tournament of Kings dinner show at the Excalibur was entertaining, if completely corny. (Frankly, all I could think of throughout the meal was Janeane Garofalo as the Midieval Times waitress in Cable Guy, which was entertainment enough.)
For service above and beyond anything I’ve ever encountered (especially dressed as shitty as I was the night I was there), I recommend dinner at Commander’s Palace in the shops at the Alladin. The menu is definitely straight from New Orleans (I started with a bowl of the turtle soup, followed by the creole seasoned filet mignon entree, and finished the evening with the bread pudding souffle), so bring your iron stomach.