Thoughtful Gifts…for the Ladies: Your Thoughts
19 Comments Published by Joel November 22nd, 2006 in Women. Share ThisMy poor girlfriend has a birthday on the 16th of December, so she suffers from the whole “we just got you a combo gift” problem. Personally, I think it’s fine—9 days is just enough time for her to get tired of her first round of gifts before she gets hit with the second wave. Then again, my birthday is in February, which is just far enough apart that it forces full-grade gift giving.
Now I can’t tell you what I’m getting her for her birthday or Christmas because she reads this site, but I can certainly ask you for some ideas of things to buy both practical (we’ve been together five years) and devious (we’ve been together five years).
Soft things are good. Expensive appliances are not. Things that make her think you think she’s smart are good. Creepy lingerie is not.
I’ve found that a spa treatment certificate is good for just about any woman in your life.
I already used this for my gf’s birthday, but a wine of the month club is a great idea. Plus, it means every month when the wine comes, she’s reminded about how great you are, and it’s ‘BJ city.’
Yo J,
I really nice piece of jewelry can do wonders. My wife is not into all that self absorbed crap, but really good quality diamond stud earrings or necklace does a couple of things. One it shows an investment in your relationship, shallow or not whose to say. It also make her feel good about herself that she can adorn herself with pretty/expensive accessories. Think about how it would feel to throw on a custom made suit, shirt, shoes etc. you feel like you can take on the world. It isn’t because the suit has magic powers of the Force, but it gives you confidence. If she’s a little more indie rock there are some variations that will be sure to please.
Plan B if you really want to make her feel cheap and useless…just kidding. Hook her up with a special combo gift that is customized to her daily routine. For example since you are in NYC I assume this means she walks to work or catches the subway. A package of her favorite coffee/blend, new spill/splash proof coffee traveler, prepaid subway/bus card, new gloves and scarf, iTunes gift card. Of course if you know what she likes you can put together a fun playlist of new tunes that she might enjoy.
On the sly you can always hook her up with some cool flannel pj’s. Just don’t forget the tantalizing goodies underneath. Read: sexy hipsters(the new thong)!
Good call on the flannel pjs. See if you can track down a nice hand woven angora scarf perhaps a matching cap too.
You know Joel, you’ve just about enough time to make her a custom beer and name it after her.
Gifts that are ultra specific to her interests are always winners. I have no idea what your girlfriend likes so I’ll give you a story about one of my ex’s. She was a grad student getting a masters in classic english lit and so was her roommate. Well we had only been seeing each other for about a month when the holidays came around so this wasn’t my idea, but she literally freaked the fuck out when her roommate got the deluxe copy of the Oxford English Dictionary. Freak out like she called me at 2:00am when she found out because she was so excited. Things you may think are dumb can be amazing gifts to the right person
I’m a big fan of the Freudian Slippers I got my wife. She loved them! I think it’s a great, clever gift. I found it at Uncommon Goods, but you might be able to get them elsewhere.
I’ve been with my girl for 3+ years now and my strategy has been to give 3 gifts for each occasion- keeping in mind that I’ve done this when I was broke (
Ok I must’ve deleted the rest of that post somehow- recap:
3 gifts- I have done on budgets ranging from
As a girl who is both girly, and crafty, and extremely utilitarian, I have some suggestions (and warnings) for dudes in general when shopping for their girlfriends.
This got a bit long, I apologize.
Instead of going for the generic girl-gifts, nothing is more highly prized than a gift that means that you are actually paying attention to what she likes and does with her free time. If your girlfriend/wife is someone that does not have hobbies… well, I am sincerely sorry for both you and her. But if she does, shit, encourage the personality traits that make her not like every other chick on the planet. If women only wanted clothes, jewelry, toiletries and chocolate, we all would be interchangeable and you’d be better off dating a blow up doll.
Pre-boxed sets always feel like kind of a cop out. These are things you get your aunt, or your female friend who you have no idea how to shop for
Addendum: Going to a place like lush and picking out a bunch of random little things because you think they would smell good on her is very nice
Clothes are dangerous. Not only for taste, but sizing. I am three different sizes in different parts of my body, so maybe i’m more sensitive to this than most people. But it seems to be kind of universal. And if you overshoot, it looks like a muumuu and she thinks you think she’s fat. Doom.
SOCKS ARE AWESOME (as long as they are not boring). Clearly, this is not a primary gift, but an excellent accessory to whatever primary gift. the best sock site on the planet, that also has bitchin tights and undies is http://www.sock-dreams.net
Things that are better than random tangible objects and often get overlooked: Tickets (to plays, shows, dance… you don’t have to go. she could take a friend that wants to), Classes (don’t do it for something like stripper pole aerobics or finding your g-spot. something she actually wants to take), vacations! (again, somewhere SHE wants to go or it’s not a present for her), and the always reliable spa-treatments.
Also, if I woke up on Christmas and Jesse told me he had secretly been taking Tango for three months, I would just about pee my pants with glee. It’s a bit more of an investment, but doing something to show you’ve been taking an interest in something important to her (or hell, just noticing that something is important to her) is awesome.
Finally, never underestimate the nostalgic power of a good trip to the toy store. Not the adult toy store. I am a firm believer in giving kids toys to adults, because we just don’t have enough of them. Every guy always likes getting rock em sock em boppers and legos, and every girl likes spirographs and easy bake ovens. And vice versa. Currently, I am rearranging the transformers on my cube.
Aaron: Funnily enough, my girlfriend works at the company that makes those Freudian slippers. Can’t get her those!
jewellery- custom made may not be that expensive but “says” something more than it was cheap in the catalogue.
an evening out to something for her- nice dinner and her show, booked in advance.
the whole clothes thing is just your nightmare waiting to happen and not just on christmas day- do i look that fat, i wish/ i was that thin/ it makes me look like a tramp/ are you saying all my clothes are crap/ i wouldn’t wear that as it makes me look like your mother/ what do you think i am- a hooker? (select as appropriate but replace for “thank you. pause. it’s lovely. no really it is”)
this year i’m thinking of the professional photo of the family option
i’ve found the candles, smellies and bubbles from lush are now almost expected as they are always well received
for my wife’s birthday i booked her and twin sister a weekend away together in a smart country hotel, dinner out and the whole deal without kids or me! you’d be amazed the last time a married mum had a lie in!! (without getting molested by, “the kids are downstairs why don’t we…”
the personal gift i try to remember what she was like/wanted to do before the kids
Kat gets a hug.
thanks susie. I have total faith in Joel to get you a good present or ten, he’s a man who knows how to shop.
Ok, I’m gonna throw a curveball at this whole post, and hope someone takes a swing:
What about sisters?
The rules are totally different. I can shop for a girlfriend any day of the week, but related females are difficult.
I still vote toys. Toys are my failsafe, shop for anybody tactic
My brother and I often give each other books. one year he got me “Amok: The Fifth Dispatch.” It’s hard to explain what it is, but if your siblings are into collecting eccentric knowledge or reading about fringe-y topics, then they might like it. you can find it on amazon.
in the same line of books…. some of the nicest gifts i’ve gotten are cookbooks. my brother, sister in law and i are all vegetarians, so we often compile recipes we’ve liked and used into little cookbooks to exchange with each other. with cookbooks though, it’s cool to narrow the focus to chocolate desserts, tapas, thai food, raw food.. or whatever food trend the other party may be interested in. be sure to research the book first though… no one wants a crappy cookbook.
as a girlfriend, the nicest gift i’ve ever gotten was when my (now-ex) boyfriend went out for a day to collect wildflowers which he used to make a card containing a poem he had written for me. i got the card at 9AM and was still smiling like an idiot at 9PM than that. Go for the effort-requiring personal gifts and you’re golden.
I’ll second everybody that says making it personal to her interests is always a good idea. One of the things I did that went over best was getting my girlfriend a stack of certificates for lunch at the sushi place around the corner from her office. It was the sort of place that was a bit pricy for an average workday lunch, but she absolutely loved their food. The certificates meant she could pop over there with no guilt on the bad days at the office. That went over really well and I heard about how wonderful it was for months as the certificates got used.
Whether they mean to or not, and most do mean to, chicks are dropping hints constantly as to the things they want or like. Pay attention, fellas. They all make it easy for you if you open your eyes.
For me, the answer is a piece of cake – shoes. A woman who receives shoes from me should know that I really adore her – that’s one of my tell-tales. I haven’t given them to every girl I’ve loved, but I’ve never given shoes to a girl I didn’t love.
Women love shoes like Flav loves the crack co-caine, and it is a cunning man who knows not only what kind of shoes his woman likes, but has the taste to choose wisely. Take a good hard look in her closet and try to assess her sense of style. The last thing you want to do is get her something she hates. This is not a feat for the uninitiated or the novice shopper. In fact, this is a choice I warn most men strongly against unless they’ve got a few random XX chromes floating around in there somewhere – like me.
For those that dare, opt for the unusual and sexy over classy and practical. She will look forward to wearing them on special occasions; god knows she’s got anough shoes for the everyday – and the everyday shoes are actually a little harder for you to choose anyway. You gotta nail that choice if you’re gonna do it; if you try, I salute you.
One of my favorite sites for fun, unusual, and sexy footwear for the ladies is http://www.electriqueboutique.com . Boy do they have a lot of fun, affordable shoes. They even have a huge selection of stuff under ten bucks, not all of it crap, and the more you buy, the cheaper the shipping per item. I recently gave my sister six pairs of shoes for her thirtieth birthday and only one pair was over 20 bucks – when you give multiples like that, you’re entitled to include at least one pair of totally ugly or tacky motherfuckers as a joke, too. One pair she got were red snakeskin gogo boots; they went over like the brass monkey – and she’s a hardcore hippie.
Now, laddies, be careful – there’s lots of cheap and tacky shit there too, beware! If you’re blessed with a girl who can receive the cheap and tacky footwear and laugh ‘em on and strut like a slut and still maintain an aura of class while doing so, I salute you. More often than not, your girl will open them, smile a little, and then wonder what kind of tramp you think she is (or want her to be).
Try to stick with boots. Boots are always in. Avoid the ones wth the stretch tops – those are hideous and should be banned. Also, as a regular wearer of heels, I have to also advise steering clear of stilettos unless they have a platform under the toe…those things are hard to walk in and they hurt a lot. You might as well sign the card, “Enjoy the blisters, bitch!”
I’d get her a 5×5x5 Rubik’s Cube. I’ve seen plenty of intelligent people get stuck on a 3×3x3 cube, but nothing says “Things that make her think you think she’s smart” like a 5×5x5 Rubik’s Cube. Available at those damn kiosks (look for the one with the board games) in the center of every mall in America for about $25.