Introducing These Week’s Theme: Fitness
8 Comments Published by Joel October 16th, 2006 in Announcements, Fitness. Share This
You fat fucks.
We have built a great civilization that feeds itself molecule chains too slippery to be absorbed as food and created work that, for most of us, chains us to an internet terminal and feeds us illusory metaphors like “surfing” and “virtual reality” to mask the fact our lifestyles are turning our bodies into calcified, pockmarked cocoons.
This week on Dethroner we’ll work together to figure out where we’re going wrong, the harsh reality our bodies face due to our sedentary, grub-like lifestyles, and what we can do to fix it.
You won’t like much of what you’re going to hear, but if you’ve been fighting your weight (up or down) or are just worn out and ready to regain the glistening muscles of your 12th-level Ranger, this week’s for you.
Image courtesy of gabefarns.
8 Responses to “Introducing These Week’s Theme: Fitness”
- 1 Trackback on Oct 16th, 2006 at 9:03 am
Four days a week here, fat asses. I’ve gone from 220 something to 185-190 in several months (I’m 6′2″ or so) and made noticable muscle gain and definition improvements (or actually just SAW some muscles for the first time). There’s no cheap and easy. It’s all dedication, motivation, and fucking work.
Something ironic having this image right after the post about bacon carmel…
Heh.
To start off by swearing at your readers takes cahones.
You’ve got my attention, bitch….
:)
YES…
It IS hard work, as hard as possible, in fact, but it is worth the effort. Just make sure to adjust your diet accordingly and EAT the part.
Cheers,
Alexander
God Bless you, Dethroner.
The photo of the gentleman on the Phat Rascal really carries it home. When visiting my parents in East Tennessee I am often greeted by, no shit, whole families of corpulent turds riding the complementary rascals at the Super Wal*Mart. Two by two they creep down the double-wide aisles shoveling marshmallow fluff and ring dings into their motorized flab conveyances. My father has since dubbed these in-store blimp hooptys as “FPC’s” which stands, predictably, for Fat People Carts.
I for one am looking forward to a week of practical info for fighting the battle of the bulge. Because it’s a fight I have to take seriously every damned day. And pics like the one on this post are what motivate me to get my ass to the gym even when I just don’t feel like it.
Huzzah.
I am a fatass and have been most of my life. However, in the last year or two I have made multiple successful efforts to reduce my waistline and trim the fat percentage. Actually getting myself to fighting weight is going to take a much larger effort from me though. I have faith this weeks topic will help considerably.
As for the man of ham in the cart, I enjoy him and those like him. They are huge motivators for me. I vowed long ago to never become a bionic melty creature.
Here’s my super condensed diet plan… In about eight months, I lost 70+ lbs. 240 to 167 (at my best). I’m 6′0.
Weigh watchers in a nutshell. Screw diets. Count calories. Excercise.
I got a decent treadmill. Started by doing a half hour 4x a week. I started walking, but at full incline. Gradually increased speed/decreased incline. Got up to 8.5 mph for 30 mins. That took about 5-6 months, so it was pretty gradual. The key was working just beyond what was comfortable. Yes treadmills are boring. I have a TV at eye level, with all the fixings DVR, DVD etc.
I admit, I started doing the atkins thing. But do yourself a favor, and read the book before jumping to conclusions. I only did it for about six weeks, before doing just a calorie counting thing. I sort of settled on a pretty consistent thing of light breakfast, salad for lunch (simple, you can buy the packaged lettuce, add some meat (~2oz, cheese 1oz), and light ranch or equivalent dressing). Balance bar as snack. Diet Pepsi, or water all day. Small portion of dinner. Small dessert. Weekends varied, but small portions were the rule.
Get a schedule and keep to it. The weight will come off. When you plateau, just stick to it, push a bit harder or eat a bit less. It is hard. The first two or three weeks are killer. You will get hungry. Hunger means its working!