Damn You, Mom: Style Tips for Short Men
Published by Joel September 28th, 2006 in Clothes. Share This
Clothing shouldn’t be a soul-sapping daily reminder of your self-loathing, but when you’re shorter or taller or thinner or fatter than average it’s easy to just ignore fashion entirely to focus on comfort. I mean, you’re never going to look like a model anyway, so why bother, right?
Horseshit. No matter what your body type, there’s clothing that can work for you, either to add height or to remove it, to hide your gut or your spindly torso. Today I’d like to talk about best options for dudes whose bodies aren’t perfect, which I suspect is probably nearly all of us. Let’s start with the pint-sized.
Now shorties, here’s my first tip: If you’re going to marry Katie Holmes, don’t let her stop eating, making her emaciated body look even taller and more lean.
As for actual advice, the basics still apply: Wear thin, closely-cut clothes that keep you looking lean, even down to skinny ties. Pinstripes will lengthen you, although try to keep them understated lest you look like you’re trying too hard. And while it applies to almost everyone regardless of size, spend the extra money to get your clothes tailored; Wearing an oversized shirt will make a short guy look like a hobbit.
But if you’re on the south side of 5′8″ you probably already knew all this stuff, and since I am not really familiar with your travails, I put it out to y’all: What are your favorite tricks for working what God gave you? (Also, to be fair, Tom Cruise does do a good job with what he’s got; We could learn a few things from ol’ nutbag.)
Some decent tips from Alan Au, if you ignore the $130 tie recommendations [MSNBC]
Very Good Boys Dethroner. The tips you gave are exactly what short men around the world need to hear, and the link was especially informative. More stuff like this with actual places to buy the stuff, along with everyday hints are what shorties need to hear.
Extra Kudos for the tailoring comment. Tailoring IS key. You have to find a GOOD tailor though or all the money you spent on those clothes will go down the drain if you take it to some hack at your corner dry cleaner. Ask the salesperson at the store if they have a tailor that they reccomend.
And another thing: Get Some Balls shortsters. Nothing irritates me more than men who can’t just admit that they are a 38 SHORT, or that they are a “small” rather than a “medium”. Admit what you are and dress appropriately rather than hang on to some pipe dream that there will be a middle age growth spurt.
Monochrome when it counts. Great advice given to me by my public speaking instructor. If you want to look taller go monochromatic, you can use tones of the same color but don’t change shades. EX: Tan pants, lighter tan shirt, and a blazer somewhere inbetween.
First you need to move “comments” to AFTER the text section - people keep missing the fact that it’s back at the top. I’ve almost done so myself. Second, good article. I’m right at 5′8 and not built by any means, so I just look “small” no matter what. Now how do we find good tailors? And a rant - why don’t they make 32W pants in just under a 30L, they are either hanging down to far and look sloppy, or I get a 33 and then just look shorter because they are “droopy” like I shit my pants. Damn genetics.
Thanks, Dethroner. There’s a lot more advice on my blog dedicated to the subject: http://www.shortshrifted.com