Damn You, Mom: Style Tips for Fat Men
42 Comments Published by Joel September 28th, 2006 in Clothes. Share This
Except for the time after I dropped out of high school and drank cough syrup for a couple of years, I’ve been fighting my weight all my life. I’ve got it somewhat under control at the moment (how is a discussion for another week), but by New York standards I’m still morbidly obese.
Here are some of the things I’ve learned personally about mitigating the discomfort of trying to look my best even when I’m packing around a UNICEF caravan’s worth of stored calories.
• Buy the smallest size in which you feel comfortable. You’re chunky. You know this. So does everybody else. I personally tend to judge myself much harder than anyone else that knows me does. (At least when it comes to looks; I regularly am reminded by friends and coworkers that I’m an asshole.) Nobody is going to see you walk in with a new outfit and think, “Gee, Fat Commander is looking especially fat today.” Properly-fitting clothes will actually make you look less chunky than if you’re wearing size XXX^10L shirts. You don’t look like you’re a rapper; You look like an elephant hiding in a yurt.
That said, make sure you can still move around. You’re looking for a sweet spot between roll-hugging and muu-muu.
• Dark is better. Here’s an experiment: Put on one white t-shirt in your default size. Now replace it with a black one. Ignoring the fact that plain white t-shirts are only acceptable attire for extremely built dudes and The Fonz, you’re going to look slimmer in darker colors.
• Stay clean. You know that gross fatty that everyone wants to avoid? Most people aren’t harshing on him because he’s pudged out; He’s just farging disgusting. Being overweight and dirty is about five times as bad as being slim and dirty. (I’m speaking from experience here. People are happy to avoid sitting next to me on the subway when I’m the only guy sweating in October.)
Keep your beard and hair trimmed and styled. Avoid long hair entirely. Wash every day—there are more folds on your body within which smells can bloom. If you’re large, you’ll sweat more in general, so plan on washing your clothes between every wear.
• Don’t wear giant pants. It sucks trying to find pants when you’re large, because to get them big enough in the waist they tend to be too long. Don’t roll ‘em up—get them tailored to the proper length or buy from a store that carries large sizes.
• Untucked shirts are fine, but keep them ironed. You get a special reprieve on the shirt tucking rule, but do yourself a favor and get your shirts dry cleaned or ironed. Nasty rumpled shirt tails flapping around make an already shabby look shabbier.
I feel your pain on this one, guys—weight is my personal bugbear, too. But being overweight shouldn’t preclude your ability to feel nice about the way you look.
And a warning for commenters: Spare us the “Lose weight, fathorse” comments. I actually think being overweight is a problem that should be tackled, but there’s no reason to not make the best of a situation in the meantime.
Image couresy of The Sartorialist, which I can’t believe we haven’t discussed yet. And yes, that man is fat for Manhattan.
Wow there is some serious angst here.
InfoMofo,
Us fat guys have quite a bit to be angsty about. Now fetch me a pudding!
I feel your pain man. While I am by no means Obese I am beginning to find the same problem with my Pants (waist big enough legs too big). Your tips are practical and I think set out to do exactly what you say. I’m gonna do my best to look thinner while I work out trying to actually BE thinner.
Thanks!
Someone kill InfoMofo so I can eat his hammy legs.
No, no, didn’t mean to disrespect. I myself am taking every word of your earlier “short people” post to heart. I suppose if I had personally been writing that one up, it would have been a bitter rehash of a Randy Newman song.
Being short *and* chubby sucks the life out of me.
This is a pretty good list. I know it’s hard to be both fat, and vaguely stylish, but it can be done. One of the first things I learned was not to shop at Big and Tall stores for anything that I want to look good in. They are good for Polo’s and Khakis, but for more upscale fare, everything seemed to be made out of polyester and rayon.
Places like Men’s Warehouse, or Joseph A Banks don’t charge for larger clothes, and they will tailor them to you. Also you can take your clothes back and have them taken in as you drop the weight, usually for free.
Also, for the love of all things holy, do not get wear any of those “I’m fat and I’m proud t-shirts”. We are already taken up more space on the planet; we shouldn’t be overly obnoxious about it.
Now if you excuess me I have a double cheese burger and chocolate shake waiting for me next to my
A few additions:
* Avoid dramatic colour changes at the waist, for example a light shirt and dark pants. The contrast draws the eye.
* Vertical strips are slimming. Horizontal stripes … the opposite. Ever notice how much horizontally-oriented detailing there is around the bust of women’s tops?
* Jackets should be no shorter than car-coat length, that is, they end at about the bottom of the pocket on your jeans
* Try and avoid accentuating your man-boobs with a heavy bag whose strap lifts and separates
* However, use a man bag, since stuff in your pockets will ruin the line of your pants, and draw more attention to your middle.
BTW – “Fat Commander” … did you mean “The Fat Controller” of Shining Time Station? Because as I learned when sitting my niece, we’ve now sanitized the poor fellow to “Mr Topham Hat.” What a natty, and noticeably less-fat-than-we-currently-consider-fat fellow he is!
Thanks for the great service!
I’ve come to approximately the same conclusions through trial, error, and “constructive criticism” from my wife.
And speaking from a progress-oriented viewpoint, the great thing about getting clothes that are right at the breaking point is that when you DO start to drop, it’s a way bigger rush to realize that a certain shirt is getting loose, than to discover that the one that was already big now hangs off you like a tent. I’ve encountered both over my recent 20lb drop, and the smaller shirt was one of my favorite moments.
As for how I managed to drop 20 and will hopefully drop about 30 more? It’s the amazing, new, patent-pending “Eat Less, Excersize More” plan. Go figure!
Fat or overweight people should NOT buy clothing that is as small as possible but still fitting as most overweight people don’t loose weight but rather gain it and purchasing clothing bordering on being too small only means that they will get less use out of the item.
I am presuming that’s not a “Damn you to hell, ” statement…seems a little harsh.
Love you just as you are…won’t be purchasing you any clothing…
Mom
Jimbo raises a pretty good point, but if you’re planning on losing the weight anyway you might as well look good while you do it. Nothing is more depressing than looking like a buffalo who has rampaged through the tent of some unsuspecting tribesman.
Style Tips for Fat Men is an oxymoron.
Try eating within reason and getting some exercise.
Worry about pinstripes and shirt fittings once you\’re not embarrassed to have a salesperson see your form.
Till then it doesn\’t really matter what the hell you wear.
Style Tips for Fat Men is an oxymoron.
Try eating within reason and getting some exercise.
Worry about pinstripes and shirt fittings once you’re not embarrassed to have a salesperson see your form.
Till then it doesn’t really matter what the hell you wear.
Read for comprehension, you fuckwad.
Read for comprehension, you fuckwad (and don’t double post).
(Yes that was on purpose.)
In my experience finding clothes, especially pants, when you are tall and a somewhat fat, apparently everyone who shops at department stores ranges from a fat midget to a scrawny giant, leaving a gap in the size chart that happens to be the exact size I’m looking for.
If you ever need to wear a tie, get a shirt built to fit your neck. Nothing makes you look unfairly fat (and is less pleasant to wear) than a collar that cuts into your neck, gets all gappy and wide, and chokes you all day. And if you just have a big neck, get the shirt custom built. I have a 20-inch neck, but if you go to B&T stores, they assume you have a 56-inch waist, which is way WAY more than I need. A custom shirt is expensive, but it’s part of the cost of being a man of substance.
Kurt, you’re an ass. I guess you are perfect in every way and have no flaws. That being said, I agree 100% with Four to the Side, if you have a large neck, buy a shirt with a large neck. If you want to look good in clothes, it may be necessary to stop shopping in clearance and get clothes that fit right. It WILL improve your look and the clothes will last longer.
I have to second William. Why is there always a 34×36 pair of pants, but no 38×36? WTF? Most guys my height (6′4″) tend to be fairly large overall, and as we get older we spread a bit in the middle (235 lb).
Note: this is not necessarily a problem with suits, because they are custom hemmed, but I can’t find a pair of khakis to save my arse.
Yes, Bugger Kurt. I’ve always been told–well, ever since I joined the legions of men of substance anwyay–that buying a suit one size larger (not longer) is slimming. I believe it. Dark. Everything other than suits are harder to generalize about.
How bout shorts… all the normal stores seem to have shorts that are way to long. Anyone have any tips here?.
As for you Kurt, the price you will pay for having a perfect body and perfect life is you will burn in hell for all eternity.
Nice…….. Kurt you should be nicer to obese people most likely it wasn’t really their fault… Could have started young when they didn’t care what they ate or out of depression of something tragic that happened and could have eaten since that is one of the things people do when depressed. I bet theres one obese person who looks hotter than you do somewhere in the world ;) because you can be some skinny guy with real pale skin and a truck load of acne and the size of a stick. There should also be help for people to skinny because my friend is super thin, but he eats more than I do like I can eat about one big hamburger and he will eat about 5-6 since his metabolism is fast, but he’s trying to gain weight since hes thin as a stick(his nickname is bones)… :( cool post :)
The first decent site I have found after 30 minutes of trying to find brands of trousers that fit guys that have larger hips/thighs. Unfortunately you are all on the other side of the world, but its nice to know that somewhere there are men that are having the same issues as me!
If anybody could point me in the direction of some sort of rules on what to wear for larger male body shapes, and some recommendation of where to get 36-38″ trousers that have larger hip/thigh width in England, for the love of god, please let me know!
but we love you fat boys!
That’s the last time I google ‘fat horse’.
Fat guys have smelly, sweaty weiners and their butts sweat more, therefore they smell rancid. I am glad you mentioned that men wash everyday, however, most of you need to wash TWICE a day. I go to a gym, and boyyy do you guys smell bad when you sweat. Ok, I think I’m gay now!
I actually see what you are talking about, I mean I am past my weight and what I used to do was wear large or x-large/34 instead of medium/32 which is what I do. Also one of the things I’ve come to realize is that although image is important, personality can take a lot of pounds off of you in a person’s eyes. Meaning that as long as you are comftarble with yourself, people will be able to see that and it will be easier. Ha I just wanted to add that to all of those who need advice.
I too am in the too fat to be cool catagory. I am 5′10 255 range, and untill i started gaining weight I was very “cool” but now things have changed and I found it harder and harder to keep that look. For some reason fasion designers dont want to make cool suff for fat people…just sweats and t-shirts. This was till I found Nordstrom. Look, heres the deal. You are going to have to shell out some cash, but if you spend some time with their sales people, they will make you look like a million bucks, and when you look in the mirror, you will be happy with what you see…I know I am. And when I loose a few pounds, I can have the clothes taylored a few times to stay with me.
hi..
i want to devolep my body can you give me a tips
As a bigger guy I’d just like to mention one thing. Although the “dark is better” rule is true(ish) it also has a flip side. How often have you seen a woman wearing a black top, black pants and a bright scarf? Does this not just scream insecure? The same is true for us. Dark means not pastel, not light gray, not white. It doesn’t mean all navy and black. Buy some red, green, bright blue…if the colour is pretty, or even “brings out your eyes” that is more important then “keep it dark”.
Well that’s a problem larger than USA… I’m a 32 yo european and i’ve been fat all my life. Living in Europe and being fat suck more then living in The States because somehow people here are more self aware and let’s say into fashion. Recently i started to fight with my demons and get slimmer because, besides the looks, being fat can get us into health problems (i’m a smoker, too). Anyway, considering all the things I’ve experienced so far, my conclusion is that if you HAVE STYLE, being fat becomes a part of your charisma. Cause let’s face it, a chunky man entering a room draws attention :). So Joel’s right: try to live healty, but feel good with yourself.
Now the style is a totally different issue. Clothes are basicaly our projection of ourselves, so try to focus rather on your qualities than on you being fat. Start from here: fat people are usually happier, kinder, more sensitive and project an optimistic image. Think about this: did you ever posted a stupid comment on sites talking about the acnea or hair loss? Hey, KURT, dealing with your inferiority complex can be hard when you don’t know where to start. So try to defulate on other sites. Porn helps sometimes.
Hope this helps, as much as i enjoyed reading you thoughts. Stay happy!
PS: The dark colours are a good idea, but don’t try to wear them on summer.
I am a smaller woman and yet I have always loved men with some meat on their bones. I am 5′3, 113lbs and my husband is 6′1 and 240lbs and I find him and men like him very very sexy. I would rather a larger man then a skinny little guy that can wear my clothes. Sexy Sexy big men!
Why are fat women bigger assholes about there weight than men? They also tend to be real picky WTF? I’m 5′6” and weigh like 230 and I always catch beautiful women either staring like schoolgirls or actually flirting with me. It seems that 9 times out of 10 when I do ask out larger women they act like I’m not even worth they’re time. The secret, be confident when enter a room act like you own it anyone man or woman can tell. Just know your the s**t everyones gonna catch on.
im 6′1″ 275…..now thats almost 300 pounds, yet most people say im about 225 or 230, i play rugby for LOYOLA university, and it keeps me from actually looking FAT…..FAT GUYS NEED TO GO THE THE GYM….dont need to run, just work your chest and shoulders, and do some squats, then youll just look like an NFL player :) ……seriously though work out your upper body and play a sport to stay in shape. my girlfriend is ex miss New Orleans….shes 5′10″ 118….perfect :) and listen to FAT MIKE he knows what hes talking about……its ok to be fat if you work out and stay healthy! WHOOOOO FAT GUYS!!!!
For what it’s worth, I’ve had a pretty normal physique for my entire 40+ year life, and as of recently, it seems that major retailers have decided that my physique is too thin to bother serving anymore. So I can’t help but find it ironic that “fat” guys can find clothes their size, but someone who is on the cusp of being considered skinny or normal, can no longer find them in his size.
Could you guys help me out. I would like to purchase a pair of pants for my 62 year old brother who wears a size 44 waist and 28 length pant. I will glady get them tailored for him after Christmas if need be. Any suggestions on where to look. No big malls near us in this rural setting: we do have Kohl’s and JC Penney.
I am 5′7 and range between 225-240 pounds – I agree with fat charlie and the other guys that point out that when a guy is stout ,portly,or what have you it is really the way in which you carry yourself -with confidence- that will carry you through the day. I do not feel discriminated upon and rebuke the”stigma” of being a fat person by not accepting it. I like being a big guy and choose it. There are alot of men and women that find thick guys very hot.
As for Tina -I shop at KOHL’S & Penney’s and have been able to find pants there -however they will need to be shortened for that 28″inseam as the waist size is beyond 42″.
Okay, I’m 5′10″, and about 310, but I don’t look FAT, just BULKY. Obviously, I’m morbidly obese by medical standards, but I’m not a Fatty McFatterson (I have a six pack, they’re just in coozies…)
Having said that, I have a 42 inch waist (comfy), and it is damn near IMPOSSIBLE for me to find trendy jeans. I used to shop at Am Eagle, Abercrombie, Aeropostale…all the popular yuppy stores. Since most of them stop their jean sizes at 36″ in store (sometime 38″ online) the only comfy jeans I can find are the faded light blue denim Wranglers in the B&T section! I’m a chubby guy, and all you can sell me are jeans that make me look chubbier?!
Soooooo…anybody have any advice on where to find nice comfortable TRENDY jeans (dark colors, wide bottoms, low rise) for big dudes?
I found this info most helpful!
I’m dating this really great guy and he is short, round and fat, and it bothers him. We’re going shopping together and i want to be positive and affirmative of him while helping to choose the right clothes for him. We will work at weight loss together for his health but in the meantime i want him to know i’m proud standing next to him just as he is! thanks for the tips!
The absolute worst is the winter! I am a huge fan of the “winter layered” look but quite frankly it’s for the “thin square jawed type.” Your tips are useful however; In hope of looking astonishing this winter, I’m beginning with a jump rope and sit up’s.