Vests are frightening. I'm always suspicious of any new bit of clothing that appears at stores fully-formed, as if they've always been a part of our wardrobes and I just didn’t notice. Brashly presented by a cabal of confidence insurgents just when I’m getting a hang of my own style again, vests are all over the place: On TV actors, on mannequins, and even, occasionally, on real people on the street. What’s a man to do?
Do you own a bongo drum? You do not need our help; You already have and enjoy several vests. Far be it from me to discourage their wear.
Are you everybody else? Ack!
The problem with vests are two-fold: They are a superfluous bit of clothing, wholly unnecessary when a man is wearing a shirt; In this modern age, wearing anything superfluous can imply an preoccupation with appearance, leading other men to judge you fey or weird or a threat to the integrity of their buried, aching thirst for cock. Also, vests—unlike most secondary layers—are a really bad choice for men with guts, because vests look best when tight.
So what to do? If you’re wanting to pick up one of those puffy, sportsmen-inspired vests, I think you’re as safe as you ever were. As for these tight, gypsy-prince-with-pocket-watch numbers, I’d say hang back and let’s see if it gets any long-term traction. Even if it does, if you’re not skinny or an old man on whom every busting seam is charming, you’re probably going to want to choose wisely.
The exception is sweater vests, or cardigans. I don’t know why, exactly, but a slightly portly man can pull off a cardigan perhaps even better than a thin man. Perhaps the curve of his belly distorts the plaid into a light-bending illusion.
Our take: Avoid, for now.
Pictured, from left to right: Banana Republic’s Heritage suiting vest, Men’s Black Leather Vest
I think you definitely hit the most important point…if you have anything other than a six-pack, vests are right out.
Unless you’re on a Harley, and the vest is leather. Probably no one will argue with you then.
A vest CAN look good, but 99.9% of the time it won’t, and since it has no real function I’d skip it.
I’ve made the horrid foray into vest-wearing at several important points in my life.
In high-school, where it became obvious that I couldn’t…and wasn’t dressing myself.
In college, when I hoped to be perceived as less artsy and more academic…and failed at both.
At weddings. And the wedding one is the worst. You take off your coat, cause you’re sweating like a hog, and over your shirt you’re wearing two triangular pieces of fabric held together with an elastic strap across your back! That’s not a vest, it’s a bra!
Vests have one function…and that’s to hold your pocket watch. If you eschew the pocket watch…and there’s no reason to have one of those anymore, the vest is pointless as well.
Thanks for keeping us fashionable AND sensible, J. And congrats on the launch. We wish you luck.
and there’s no reason to have one of those anymore
Ahem. Unless, of course, you like pocket watches.
Judging from the pictures I would rate them from left to right as:
Possible, Gay, and Flaming Gay.
Vest have little use, unless your into three piece suits or harley’s etc. But as I grow older, they begin having a certain appeal. Older men easily pull off a sweater vest, and make it work. But not the vests shown on the right side – EGAD!
Vests, the triple-threat…
One, they are very much “priviledge-wear”. A La, “Spandex is a priviledge, not a right”. They simply do not look becoming on many guys. Particularly, if you are too thin, or too bulky. I myself, am bulky, so I avoid them.
Two, unless 80’s style (file under Andrew McCarthy and Kevin Bacon) falls back in line, there is no way any self-respecting male will wear a vest. The exception to this: Artsy, eclectic types. In that case, see point one above.
Three, vests must be worn properly, which most folks do not. The only acceptable way, to wear a vest is with a blazer or suit. This is all my humble opinion, but it really seems to ring true. Don’t believe me? Look at other niche clothing such as spectators and white leather/red rubber oxfords. Full brimmed hats on men as well.
Even sweater vests are bad imho. Just skip vests altogether. There are much more useful items of clothing out there worth spending money on that do not involve the questioning of your sexual orientation.
Trust me, even femmes hate vests.
If it ain’t part of a 3 piece suit, leave it alone.
Seriously.
Just…as the British say: LEAVE IT.
Agree with the biker stuff, though, that kinda rocks.
Rocked more like…36 years ago…
I think you should wear that fur vest with your all-week-long suit to spice it up for the middle of the week.
It’ll make you stand out in the sea of suits.
The hipsters and stylists have been turning out this look for a couple of years now, so it’s only natural that the vest is hitting the mainstream now.
These are examples of vests that work:
• worn over a rumpled shirt with buttons in an absent-minded professor stylee
• worn by a Vincent Gallo look-a-like in a rough-trade manner
• worn in a dandyish fashion with french cuffs and high waisted trousers
All vests should be tailored wool-and-silk with that little belty thing in the back. Black leather is also permitted but it should point down in the front. Done up is better than undone.
Anything else is unacceptable. You may as well put on a fedora and call yourself Joey Jerimiah.
I heart you Cat.
Yer funny…and I’m serious.
Dang. That fur vest is too femme for ME.
And I’m a girl.
Plus, I don’t do animal fur.
Leather vests, suit vests, or nuthin’.
Just my opinion.
You gotta six pack, walk around shirtless.
THAT will impress the ladies.
Wow I am kinda shocked at people for their hatred towards vest. I wear 3 piece suits all the time and I am a 25 year old man. I also wear fedoras and panama straw hats with my suits.
Vests aren’t just for pocket watches I might add. vests keep your tie neatly squared away, keep your tie from dipping into your soup, and when it gets too hot to wear your suit jacket in the office etc. you can take off the jacket and still look great.
There was a time when working in shirt sleeves was forbidden. While that is of course old etiquette I think if a man truly wants to look spiffy he’ll go with the 3 piece suit.
I might also add that having vests to wear with your suits adds an extra element to your wardrobe which gives you far more flexibility in changing your look on a day to day basis, especially if you don’t have 8 suits hanging in your closet. Combined with different color shirts and ties, the addition or removal of a vest can give a suit an entirely different appearance for a fraction of the cost of buying a new suit.
Heck if your feeling daring stop by your local tailor and have them make you one that compliments a suit you already own. With thousands of patterns to choose from it’s an inexpensive way to change up your appearance.
Like Doc Holliday said in 1882, when he was lying there dying of consumption in a hospital without his boots on, “This is funny…” I have a passion for collecting antique American pocket watches, and I carry a pocket watch everyday, without exception. I have found a Land’s End shirt with a utility pocket above the regular shirt pocket, that is perfect for carrying my pocket watch. It even has a velcro-fastened flap to help secure my pocket watch, although I still use a watch chain secured to a buttonhole with a T-Bar. The watch chain hangs in front of my shirt, and causes no safety problems. Often, this also serves as a sort of conversation starter, and most people recognize that I am carrying a pocket watch, especially perhaps when it is noticed that I wear no wrist watch.
However, vests make carrying pocket watches very convenient, whether or not vests are considered fashionable today, or not. Retrospectively, if you will take a look at photos of men from the mid-to-late 1800’s period, many of them wore vests, and had watch chains connected to their vests, with a pocket watch inside a vest pocket! For an antique pocket watch collector such as myself, wearing a vest is a viable option for carrying my pocket watch in a practical, and convenient manner. For men like me, sexual preference has absolutely nothing to do with wearing a vest to accomodate my carrying one of my many pocket watches from my collection. I’m talking about a conservative, low-key style, button-up-the-front vest, with working pockets (I’ve actually seen vests with mock pockets sewn shut, with a fake opening of a pocket on each side of the vest, but NO actual pocket!).
I have also decided to seek out adding several sweater-style vests, that button up the front, to accomodate carrying my pocket watches secured to a watch chain.
Finally, there is an organization, the National Association of Watch & Clock Collectors, with hundreds of members who carry pocket watches. The membership also has many ladies who wear antique pendant watches, and yes, some who even carry pocket watches! For those of us who prefer to sport our pocket watches, we need somewhere practical and safe to store them for easy access when we want to know the time!
Regards,
JB