By Randall Munden

One morning many years ago while pondering the future of mankind, I wondered why—if I was any kind of a man at all—I was submitting myself to the intense burning sensation that a week-old disposable razor inflicted on my neck. How many of these tiny blades had I contributed to the landfills of this country? (And damn, those things are expensive.) That morning I resolved to introduce myself to the ancient art of using a straight razor.

One thing to keep in mind when considering the purchase of a straight razor—and I cannot stress this enough—you will cut yourself. And if you were that kid in fifth-grade gym class that kept getting his ankles whacked by the bamboo poles while doing that fucking Filipino Tinikling dance it is highly probable that you’ll cut one of your fingers clean off. Not to worry, however. Unlike mass-produced plastic safety razors (with aloe strip), there’s nothing more manly than cutting yourself while shaving with a straight razor.

Let’s get down to brass tacks (or hollow-ground, high-carbon steel tacks). When shopping for a straight razor the manufacturers throw all kinds of confusing options at you.

The first thing to consider is blade material. This one is simple: You can choose from high-carbon steel or the ubiquitous stainless steel. The latter is high tech, resistant (but not impervious) to rust, holds an edge longer but is harder to sharpen. High-carbon steel, on the other hand, will rust just to spite you and requires a razor strop often, but will get so sharp that it will scare the hair off of your face (and perhaps a finger or two off of your hand). It’s also the stuff out of which Conan’s sword is made.

Think about it.

The second thing to consider is the handle. Handle materials vary widely, from assorted woods to stainless steel to numerous other organics. There are two things to consider when choosing a handle material: stability of the material under adverse environmental conditions and grip. The grip issue should be fairly intuitive: don’t choose a material that you could loose your grip on and cut your finger off.

The other variable in choosing a handle material is slightly more complicated. Your straight razor is a finely tuned instrument, so sharp that the act of cutting facial hair dulls it. Given this, any time the edge comes into contact with anything else—your sink top, a washcloth or your finger—it becomes less effective on your facial hair.

The point? When you are not shaving facial hair you should close your razor. If your handle material is apt to distortion or warpage there’s a chance, especially over time, that the edge on your straight razor could contact the handle material thereby dulling the blade so badly that the strop won’t take the distortion out. (Don’t know what the strop is or what it does? We’ll explain that in the next parts of our series.)

Now, I know you’re thinking, “Gimme some wood. I can get a grip on some wood.” I know you can—your wife showed me the pictures. But wood is notorious for distortion in humidity and your straight razor will spend many years operating in a humid environment.

In my experience, bone is the best choice. Not only does it have excellent grip characteristics it is almost non-reactive to humidity. Plus, you can carve a fishhook out of it in a pinch. I think Conan would approve.

Finally, manufacturers throw all kinds of adjectives at you as value adds: “French Point,” “Spike Point,” “5/8 blade” or “Singing” (any hollow-ground blade worth a crap “sings” by-the-way). These are just adjectives to sell you and won’t make much difference to your shaving experience. Buy a bone-handled blade and let’s get ready to do some bare-knuckled, old-style shaving.

Next installment: Shaving peripherals.