Ignore all the too-hip Valley shlubs and exxed-out party trash in search of a novel bit of turf on which to bruise their knees—Burning Man is dress rehearsal for the apocalypse. When the god-aliens wake up from their cat nap and decide to see what happens when they turn the ant farm upside down, some of you will have only learned how to do blow in a sandstorm while the rest of us will be cooking hot dogs on our giant solar reflectors.

And by hot dogs I mean plague rats, naturally. Surf’s up, Wisconsin!

Should you find yourself at a festival in the Nevada desert this late August, you can try out this “SOLAR DEATH RAY 3000″ at the Alternative Energy Zone.

SOLAR DEATH RAY (for hot dogs) [iGargoyle via MAKE]

Bonus Link: The classic Bacon-cooking alarm clock. [MAKEzine]