Some men have sworn off hair care products as symptomatic of our neurotically style-conscious society, which is like, right, but also really gross. I know it may seem strange to some of you to wash the oil and dirt from your hair, then immediately reapply something oil- or dirt-like, but just trust me on this one—it’s under the subsection of the social contract that outlines the possibility of copulation.

But you don’t have to go overboard with it. i’ve been using a tub of Garnier’s Fructis Style Fiber Gum putty to great success. I’ve got short hair these days, so just a little glop—about the amount that sticks to one finger when I stick it in the pleasant-smelling jelly—is plenty to get my hair to stay in place without looking like I just removed my head from a cow’s vagina. One tub has lasted over a month, and there’s still plenty left. Not bad for four bucks.